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Through a Man's Eyes: Helping Women Understand the Visual Nature of Men by [Feldhahn, Shaunti, Gross, Craig]
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Through a Man's Eyes: Helping Women Understand the Visual Nature of Men Kindle Edition

4.4 out of 5 stars 64 customer reviews

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Length: 194 pages Word Wise: Enabled Audible Narration:
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Editorial Reviews


Praise for Through a Man’s Eyes

“I’ve spoken at hundreds of events for women on the topic of marriage, and I can honestly not think of a more needed book. Is it possible (please!) that we can finally have an honest conversation in the church about the visual nature of men without guys being called creeps and women being called frigid? My deepest prayer is that couples will read this book and be able to talk without judgment about this reality for men in our modern society and for their marriages. For many couples, this will be the most important book they read this year—and maybe in their entire relationship.”
—Kathi Lipp, author of The Husband Project, Happy Habits for Couples, and Hot Mamas

 “Women, be brave. This is all the stuff your man has been trying to tell you about how he’s wired, but didn’t know how to say. This is the stuff every mom of a boy needs to know. Whether you have an issue you need to address, are curious about how to support a man or guide a son, or simply need reassurance that the male wiring was intended to be a good thing, this resource will help. This eye-opening book is the go-to resource for a whole new generation of women who care about men.”
—Shannon Ethridge, MA, relationship coach, speaker, and author of many books including the best-selling Every Woman’s Battle series, The Sexually Confident Wife, and The Passion Principles

 “The visual nature of men is an unchangeable reality of life, love, and marriage. And it is an issue few women understand. That lack of knowledge creates a lot of relational problems and barriers to experiencing intimacy. Finally, here is a book that will empower women with the truth about how God made men and how to relate to them with understanding. I love this book and am so thankful to Craig and Shaunti for writing it.”
—Jimmy and Karen Evans, co-hosts of the syndicated the syndicated television program MarriageToday with Jimmy and Karen

“Finally a book to help women understand what even the most honorable man or boy faces today! Many wives personalize a man’s visual nature as evidence that her good-willed husband does not love her. Of course, all he can say is, ‘Well, I do love you’ as he battles to avoid the swimming areas, Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition, or stay accountable with his Internet viewing. And when men have given in to those temptations, and don’t understand the pain they inflict on their wives, their wives don’t know how to handle it. In Through a Man’s Eyes, every wife, mom, counselor, and pastor has the resource we’ve been waiting for.”
—Emerson Eggerichs, bestselling author of Love and Respect

“This is a home-run title on such a desperately needed topic! Through a Man’s Eyes opened my eyes to so many things that men struggle with and served as the springboard for some very helpful and healthy conversations with my husband. I appreciate the courage Shaunti and Craig had to address this subject and the grace with which they did so. Highly recommended for any woman who wants to understand her husband, son, boyfriend, or other men in her life better.”
—Crystal Paine, founder of and New York Times best-selling author
 “Oh how I wish I’d had this resource thirty-two years ago when I was a new wife. Even though I’ve been married for many years, I learned so much on the pages of this book. If you have a man in your life, you need this resource! Thank you, Shaunti and Craig, for giving women the gift of understanding.”
—Jill Savage, CEO of Hearts at Home and author of No More Perfect Moms

 “Reading this book made me think Craig and Shaunti had somehow installed a hidden camera in my brain! Their insights into the male thought process are incredibly accurate. This book will help women develop a deeper understanding of men, and consequently will create deeper levels of intimacy in their relationships.”
—Dave Willis, founder of and author of iVow: Secrets to a Stronger Marriage

 “Through a Man’s Eyes picks up where For Women Only left off in giving me (Barb) insight into understanding the visual nature of men. For years we’ve told couples around the world to make sure they bought a copy of the book. This new book is excellent! So compelling we couldn’t put it down! Thank you, Shaunti and Craig, for writing more on these crucial differences between men and women! It gives couples everywhere the capacity to talk about them.” 
—Dr. Gary and Barb Rosberg, America’s Family Coaches

 “Any woman (or man!) who reads this book will have a much better understanding of the visual nature of men and boys. As I read this book, words like refreshing, challenging, insightful, grace, practical and helpful kept popping into my head. Shaunti and Craig are two of my favorite authors, researchers, and friends, and I respect and admire both of them. Putting these two people together to write this book makes it not only a stroke of genius but a resource that will bring health and understanding to thousands of women who needed to comprehend how men think and react to visual stimulation. The answers to the questions about the effect of pornography on men and boys could save many a relationship.”
—Jim Burns, PhD, president of HomeWord and author of Teaching Your Kids Healthy Sexuality and The Purity Code (for teens and preteens) 

“Men have long needed their hidden sexual ‘wiring’ exposed along with the challenges it brings. And women have long needed this enlightenment and the compassion for their men that surely comes with it. Clearly, a must read!”
—Dr. Robert Lewis, founder of Men’s Fraternity and producer of Marriage Oneness

“This is a book that all husbands should want their wives to read. Through a Man’s Eyes takes women on a journey into the minds of men, and shows them how even nice guys struggle with the onslaught of visual temptation they face every day. Thankfully, it also shows women how to be compassionate, wise, and encouraging in dealing with this aspect of their husband’s life.”
—Mark and Susan Merrill, Founders of Family First, All Pro Dad, and iMOM

About the Author

Shaunti Feldhahn is a social researcher, popular speaker, and the best-selling author of such books as For Women Only. With more than two million copies of her books sold in more than twenty languages, Shaunti speaks all over the world. Her relationship findings are regularly featured in media as diverse as The New York Times and The Today Show, Focus on the Family and Cosmo. She and her husband, Jeff, and their two kids live in Atlanta, Georgia.
Craig Gross is a pastor and the founder of, which seeks to help those who are being assaulted by pornography. Craig is the author of numerous books and has been featured in GQ, Newsweek, Wired, The New York Times, and on Good Morning America,Nightline, CNN, Fox News, and The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. He lives in Pasadena, California, with his wife, Jeanette, and their two children.

Product Details

  • File Size: 3501 KB
  • Print Length: 194 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1601425112
  • Publisher: Multnomah (July 21, 2015)
  • Publication Date: July 21, 2015
  • Sold by: Random House LLC
  • Language: English
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #313,262 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Shaunti's book, "For Women Only," was extremely helpful for me as I tried to learn to understand how men think in general and how my husband thinks.

Now that I have a ministry for wives and single women, myself - I see what widespread misunderstanding there is between men and women and what a problem this is for the church as well as for marriages and families. I have referred thousands of women to read Shaunti's book, "For Women only," and I'm SO THANKFUL that Shaunti Feldhahn and Craig Gross teamed up to share their experiences and strengths with us on this important issue. I am very happy to see the ways that Shaunti and Craig address women in helping to prepare them for what they will learn and with the practical instructions about how women can approach this topic with their husbands in productive, healthy ways - rather than destructive ways. I have seen wives respond destructively when they learn about how men think - and I don't want that for any wife, husband, or marriage. I want to see our marriages grow in intimacy on every level and I want to see God heal every hurting marriage, husband, and wife.

I believe God may use this book to help close the gaps of misunderstanding between men and women as well as husbands and wives. I think women will be able to better understand their husbands, their temptations, and the difference between temptation vs. actual lust/sin after reading this book. I believe women will be better able to empathize with their fathers, husbands, brothers, and sons after reading this book and that we might all rally together as a team in the church and in our families to support one another rather than responding with condemnation, bitterness, or unforgiveness. I'm so thankful for the practical ideas for wives, girlfriends, and mothers as they walk beside their men and sons on this faith journey together.
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Format: Kindle Edition
This book has some good and some not so good elements to it, the 5 star reviews have already mentioned the helpful information so this review will focus on some other views.

1. This book is a follow up to For Women Only to explain further the visual nature of men as Shaunti said her chapter on this issue was the most misunderstood and generated the most heated discussion amongst female readers at events and online. My (and my husband's) issue with the book is that the tone reads as somewhat patronising to female readers and at times reads as the writer defending the message and delivery as well as a plea to accept and support men while not offering true help to women wrestling with these issues. Some women responded 'negatively' to her original book's message and the response in the book comes across as correcting women for misunderstanding the message.

For example, in one of the chapters a husband approached the author at a FWO speaking event and told her he was distressed because after reading FWO his wife cried a lot and no longer had sex with him because she thought he would be having images of other women in his mind while they were being intimate. The writer's response was to be shaken by this woman's:
'destructive overreaction',
that the wife was 'missing the point',
'drastically misunderstanding what they were saying',
was 'unwilling to listen' while
'burying herself in pain, and using her pain as a weapon against her spouse'. (Remember the only information she had about the wife was that she was crying a lot and not having sex due to fear - could be natural grieving or protecting herself from feeling body ashamed or used rather than punishing the husband).
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Format: Paperback
As a fan of both Shaunti Feldhahn and Craig Gross, I was thrilled to hear about them collaborating together to write this book. I read "For Women Only" years ago and it was very eye-opening. I honestly felt there would be little more knowledge to gain from this book since I felt I had a pretty good grasp on how men think (I've been with the same man for 13 years) but WOW, this book proved me wrong! I found myself furiously underlining full paragraphs and asking my husband tons of questions. The book was written in a very sensitive manner. The subject matter can be very shocking when first presented, but the authors reassured women many times and also cautioned not to jump to conclusions or react until they have finished reading the book. (I can relate to that, as I was stunned when I first read For Women Only as a young wife) Overcoming the temptation to become upset initially can allow you the time to really consider the information being presented. My favorite part of this book is that it was written by both a man and a woman. I had an aha moment when I read about how women feel attraction: "For us, attraction is visual to some degree, but also highly emotional... true attraction inextricably becomes connected to closeness and intimacy to one person." This is important, because: "A man can have a physically attraction toward an image, but it is not the same thing that [us women] experience as attraction." I loved that they took what we think as women, and then compared it to how men think differently. I have found this book opened a door for me to ask my husband honest questions in a non-threatening way. Through those questions, the things he had tried (and failed) to get me to understand finally became clear, and we feel better connected and better understood. I really think every woman who loves a man (whether husband or son) should read this, I highly recommend it.
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