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Blog postStarted writing journal some time in last September. Almost a year has passed since then. There is so much in the journal now. So much. Most of it won’t make sense to anyone who reads. So much is in there, and none of it would make any sense to anyone. Think about it. So many pages. So many words. So many paragraphs all written by one man in innumerable moods, innumerable positions, innumerable seasons. Looking at it gives me a strange sense of happiness. Surely I cannot go through reading it
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Blog postPeople usually have morning rituals or evening rituals or some sort of rituals in their lives. I do not have morning rituals or evening rituals. I do not even have mornings or evenings. I go to work, I work, I come back from work. That’s how I measure my time.
It’s a holiday. Again, I cannot feel the excitement of it. What am I? A fucking stone?
Soon, my body should begin to show symptoms of withdrawal. That’s natural to happen to an addict.
Just another rainy day in m -
Blog postBack home early. The day turned out to be better than I had expected. Owing to certain external factors, I didn’t have to work at all today. Instead, had a day long discussion with this lady on varied subjects – mysticism being a prime one. Also, what could possibly be the rationale behind a sane man eating another man, preferably a dead man. I can’t tell about the bits of discussion here. That’s not the point I want to convey here. I want to convey, as usual, nothing. I am just typing shit i
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Blog postThis one is a quick post from my mobile. That is something I never do. So if you’re reading on laptop or PC, apologies if it doesn’t look good. Also, about that, I do not give a shit. Ha ha ha.
It’s been raining heavily since this morning. No electricity. No mobile connectivity. It all looks so bad when I look out the window. So bad and so wet and so dirty. That’s why I hate rain. It brings in more dirt than it washes away. At least that has been the case with me. Always. It would hav -
Blog postAn evening like no other. A completely worthless evening. At least my sickness hasn’t worsened. No sudden rise in body temperature. The weakness is still there. Maybe reading a little Dostoyevsky will make me feel better. Notes from the Underground. Started reading it a year and a half ago. I am a terrible reader. A bad fucking reader. I love to buy books and I hate to actually read them. And I buy only gems. I haven’t bought a single bad book in a life, except for a couple of times from Inst
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Blog postThis is not how the day was supposed to go. It’s raining like hell. Can’t go anywhere. Can’t even step outside. In my room, locked, listening to music. The sickness is leaving my body. Last night was terrible. My body was on fire.It was a a strange, terrifying feeling. I was shivering. I am shivering now as I write. I just want some rest. A good rest. Haven’t been on a road trip in two months. Terrible. I hate rain. Road trips on a motorcycle are my only cure. I want the cure soon.
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Blog postI’ve always wanted to grow this blog of mine. It is now two years and three months old and I do not know the future of it as much as I do not know the future of myself. Had a call from a colleague an hour ago. It has left me drained. Nothing more tiring than a day job. I still haven’t found a way out of it. Another call. Another message. Another distraction. Lying in my bed. Thinking about a million things. It’s worth tonight to keep the windows open. The winds are just so good and so calming
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Blog postThe truth is that you don’t ever quit being what you truly are. It’s something bounded to your core. It doesn’t matter whether you’re good or bad. I think a man gives its best when he is closest to what he truly is. I’ve contemplated many times on the true nature of man. I do not do that anymore. Man is surprisingly simple to understand and at the same time, quite hard to define. Take any other animal. They find joy easily. They find it much easily than any man. Man gets easily distracted wit
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Blog postJesus Christ! What was I thinking all this while. I don’t know. I’ve been a stupid asshole since a long time. Time to pull myself out of the pit. Time to be a hell maker. Time to shit out properly all that I can’t keep inside of me anymore. Enough of drinking and fooling around. Time to add a little more red to my blood. Enough of being a loser. Meanwhile, Dan is back. I see him coming back, still singing sad songs in his coarse voice, like he’s been drinking since the Big fucking Bang. He pr
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Blog postBig things are coming. But they are always coming and they never come. This time, it might be different or it might turn out to be the same as before. Only time will tell. But how much time before we are told what is and what is not. No idea. Usually with these things, it takes a hell lot of time. A lot of waiting for no reason. But then, what choice do I have. What choice do I ever have. I like to keep no options. I am a one road man. I’ve got no wishes to fulfil. I had been away. But I was
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