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Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate Hardcover – November 13, 2012

4.8 out of 5 stars 416 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews


"Radiates a genuine concern and belief in progress through slow, personal evolution...Both LGBT individuals and Christians will benefit from the modeling of a kinder, more accommodating navigation of this culture war."―Publishers Weekly,

"Lee's writing is approachable, and he shows compassion for those on all sides of this debate."―Kirkus Reviews

"Disarmingly vulnerable...poignant..."―Christianity Today

"The beauty of this book is that Lee wants to challenge all kinds of Christians...Perhaps it is because of so many fights hard won that Lee is now able to move into more nuanced territory in this gracious and grace-filled memoir."―The Christian Century

"Lee, one of our leading voices on the issues of being gay and Christian, gives us this powerful look at ways that members on both sides of the lines can learn from and grow with each other."―SHE Magazine

"...His book offers helpful suggestions for Christians...[and] helpful suggestions for pastoral counseling..."―World Magazine

"This book is full of three things that are not always much in evidence in our debates on sexuality--fresh air, common sense and manifest love of Christ. What makes it different is that it is not essentially about arguing a case but abut bridging the gaps of understanding and sympathy that (inside and outside the Church) have distorted or muffled the overwhelming miracle of Gods gift in Christ and in Scripture. I welcome it very warmly."―Honorable Reverend Dr. Rowan Williams

"Justin didn't leave the church when he realized he was gay...he has been too determined to show them how much he loves them...This is the story of how one Christian man's faith taught him to accept himself, serve others who are in need, and bridge the gap for those who do not always understand."
Jennifer Knapp, Singer/Songwriter, Founder of InsideOutFaith.org

"This is the most important book I've read in years, and it will be the first I recommend to anyone interested in bridging the divide between the LGBT community and the church. Justin has given us a precious gift with this story. May we receive it with the same courage and faith with which it was delivered."―Rachel Held Evans, blogger, author of Evolving in Monkey Town and A Year of Biblical Womanhood

"In TORN, Justin Lee blends simplicity, clarity, humility, honesty, and vulnerability in a gracious and eye-opening way. The book brings fresh perspectives to old and polarized debates, and it offers a wise and faithful way forward for pastors and other Christian leaders, parents and other family members, not to mention gay men and women themselves. This is the book that every Evangelical, Charismatic, and Roman Catholic Christian should read on the question of homosexuality."
Brian D. McLaren, author of Why Did Jesus, Moses, the Buddha, and Mohammed Cross the Road? Christian Identity in a Multi-Faith World (brianmclaren.net)

About the Author

Justin Lee is the founder and executive director of The Gay Christian Network (GCN), a nonprofit, interdenominational organization working to increase dialogue between gays and Christians and support people on both sides wrestling with related issues.

A passionate Christian from a conservative evangelical background, Justin thought he knew everything there was to know about the Christian approach to homosexuality-until unexpected events turned his world upside down and forced him to reconsider everything he believed. Today, his organization works with individuals, families, and churches to stop the debate from tearing people apart.

Justin's work has garnered national attention and praise from gays and Christians from across the theological spectrum. He has been featured in numerous print, radio, and television venues including Dr. Phil, Anderson Cooper 360, the Associated Press, and a front page article in The New York Times. He is the director of the 2009 documentary Through My Eyes about the debate's impact on young Christians, and the co-host of popular long-running podcast GCN Radio. Justin lives in Raleigh, NC.

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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Jericho Books; First Edition edition (November 13, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1455514314
  • ISBN-13: 978-1455514311
  • Product Dimensions: 6.2 x 1 x 9.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (416 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #306,263 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I am deeply grateful to find such a kind and tenderhearted approach to this subject. Justin Lee's book is part autobiography, part Bible study, and part call for grace and empathy to those on both sides of the issue. No matter what your personal views, you will find something valuable in Justin's account of his own journey and desire to reconcile his sexuality with his relationship with God. His writing is unassuming and down to earth in a way that anyone can relate to. One moment he is referencing Holy Scripture, the next South Park or The Princess Bride.

As a straight Christian who never had to go through a struggle like Justin's, it was pretty easy for me to ignore the plight of gay Christians. In fact, there was a time when I didn't think there was such a thing! I wish someone had placed a book like this in my hands a long time ago.

Justin writes with compassion and love. This is not an angry book, but a gently passionate one. If you are expecting to be preached at, you will find yourself pleasantly surprised. Justin is honest about the things he faced that confused or hurt him, the questions he had, and why he came to the conclusions that he did. He also makes it clear that the church is a diverse place where not everyone is going to come to the same conclusions he did. And that's okay.

(If you are familiar with the Gay Christian Network, the organization that Justin is a part of, and their compassionate Side A & Side B approach to the controversy, you will find that same level of empathy on display here. If not, the idea is that some Christians believe that God is fine with homosexual behavior and willing to bless same-sex couples the same way as he would couples of the opposite sex.
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Alright, so it's only been a day, but I devoured this book. I cannot recommend it enough. It's the book I've been waiting for, and thought I might have to write one day, but now it's here. I'm not the most eloquent with words but here's a mini review.

The main topic of this book is really the misunderstandings perpetuated by churches, and their consequences. Despite their good intentions, ignoring the facts on these things leads to more harm than good, and ultimately turning people away from the faith. This book sets the record straight on whether it's a choice, the difference between orientation and behavior, the purpose (and dangers) of ex-gay ministries, and other things that have been seriously and unfortunately ignored.

Justin Lee, the author, is very respectful to both sides (Side A affirming same-sex relations, and Side B affirming celibacy), though he himself is Side A, and lays out his beliefs on the "clobber passages" in a chapter towards the end.

Its mostly focused on what the church is doing wrong as far as reaching out towards gay people, why it's wrong, and how churches and Christians can do better. He makes a serious point in his conclusion that churches who expect LGBT folk to be celibate need to be better at supporting them, instead of only hearing "gay" and starting to preach at them before they understand the situation.

All the while, chronicling what it's like to grow up gay having been raised as a strong Southern Baptist, the pain and the guilt and the struggles, why am I like this, what can I do, etc. Giving a great understanding for what it's like to be gay AND Christian.

It's a vital book for anyone seeking to understand all the sides of this debate better.
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I just finished reading Justin Lee's book called Torn and all I can do is sit back with tears in my eyes and a heart filled with hope at the amazing potential for good that this book could bring to a church divided.

This is a book for those who are just trying to understand how a good Christian boy or girl, growing up in a bible-believing fundamental church, and raised in a Christ-loving and Christ-following home, could possibly have turned out to be gay.

This is a book that brings understanding for the mom and dad who just listened in dumbfounded horror to their son or daughter "come out" to them, fearfully confessing to them that he or she was gay.

This is a book for the truly caring pastor, deacon, or Sunday-school teacher who suspects or discovers that the young man or young woman they watched grow up in their church is fighting with feelings of same-sex attraction or who openly confesses they are gay.

This is a book that will help the person who has a friend or family member who confides in them that they are gay understand how to react in the same way Jesus and Paul would have interacted with them.

...and possibly most importantly, this book is a door of hope for you, the gay Christian who loves God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, and yet unwittingly find yourself fighting feelings of attraction for the same sex... feelings you never asked for, feelings you never chose, and feelings you definitely never wanted... this book is for you.

Mom, did your little boy just come to you in tears telling you that he thought he was gay? Read this book! It will help you understand and react in a manner befitting the gift God entrusted you with.
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