- File Size: 2417 KB
- Print Length: 202 pages
- Publisher: Signal Press (August 16, 2014)
- Publication Date: August 16, 2014
- Sold by: Amazon.com Services LLC
- Language: English
- ASIN: B00MSUCXHS
- Text-to-Speech: Enabled
- Word Wise: Enabled
- Lending: Enabled
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #14,009 Free in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Free in Kindle Store)
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Totlandia: Book 1 (Contemporary Romance): The Onesies - Fall Kindle Edition
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From the Author
When Bettina Cross is faced with having to share the leadership of her beloved Pacific Heights Moms and Tots Club with her sister-in-law, Lorna Connaught, she plays dirty--only to discover that her actions have aligned her two true enemies Bettina's problems are compounded when Daniel Warwick, a Department of Justice prosecutor, wants to use her as bait to trap her soon-to-be ex, Art, into coming home and answering to long list of fraud charges. While Bettina fighting desperately to preserve her social standing, Brady lines up venture capital funding for Life of Pie, Ally must shore up Jillian's insecurities that her pies won't live up to Brady's promises. Now that Reggie is teaching Shakespeare at UC Berkeley, Jade struggles with her fear that she's competing for his affections with his student assistant. Finally, an unexpected tragedy puts Jillian in the middle of her ex's life again--with consequences that will affect her future and those of her twins--forever.
For the women of Totlandia, spring brings new life and emotional renewal:
Will Bettina succumb to an easy fix for her problems, or will she embrace the challenge that may lead to the financial freedom she craves? Her mysterious disappearances are adding to Lorna's anxieties to keep the club on an even keel up until she delivers her twins. Jillian is fighting her former mother-in-law for custody of her deceased ex-husband's infant child. As for Jade, she is given an opportunity of a lifetime to prove herself: both as an academic researcher, and as the perfect partner for her fiánce, Reggie. But will his assistant Samantha's attention come between them? And Brady's quest to reunite Ally with her father may be the one thing that will tear their relationship apart. Finally, Top Moms know that their only hope of getting out from under Bettina's thumb is to secure their secrets-filled files hidden deep within a sculpture to be auctioned off with the rest of her possessions. Let the bidding begin!
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It was a very amusing light and surprisingly pornographic read. I enjoyed it - short (even all 4 books read as one!) and loads of fun.
But not everyone is PHM&TC material. The club's founder, Bettina Connaught Cross, adheres to strict membership rules: Moms only. No single parents or working mothers allowed. Membership is an arduous commitment. And there's no room in the club for scandal, bad behavior, or imperfection...from tots or their moms.
In a world of power and prestige, no one has more than Bettina. And as every mom in Pacific Heights knows, you simply cannot cross her. But this year's admissions process is more rigorous than ever, pitting prospective members against each other to prove their mettle.
But four of the six candidates vying for the remaining four slots have a secret that would knock them out of the running. Jade is a former stripper and porn actress, who has been absent for most of her son's life. Jillian's husband cleaned out their joint accounts and left her for his pregnant assistant. Ally never even had a husband--just a sperm donor--and she's hiding a high-ranking corporate job. And Lorna fears that her son may have special needs... just the excuse her sister-in-law, Bettina, needs to deny her entry to the club.
Can these hopeful moms keep up appearances long enough to outlast the competition? Or will their chances--and their private lives--go up in flames?
This is the first of four books that follow our heroines during "the Onesies," their inaugural year in the club. Upcoming books--to be released in four episodes each year--will follow subsequent years: the Twosies, Threesies, Foursies, and Fivesies.
I wanted to read something light, funny, but with descent writing. I received this book as a freebie from Amazon and I was a little worried that the writing wouldn't be very good but I set out and started reading it anyway. Well, I have to say, I was happily surprised. The writing was good...now mind you this isn't the Grapes of Wrath or some other great literary giant...but it still was better than what I expected. The book had everything I wanted at the time...sex, humor, and a female plotline. This is the story of a premier play group called the Pacific Heights Mom's and Tot's Group. The rules are ridiculously funny...must be a skinny mom, must have a big bank account, no single mommies allowed etc... The story was a hilarious sarcastic story of a fictional playgroup that I can imagine probably really exists somewhere after spending several years as a stay at home mom and all the worries and conflicts a mom feels during her child's younger years and witnessing how some mothers act as if they are better than the others. No matter what this was a perfect break from all of the more serious books I had been reading. I loved the flow of the story, the backgrounds of the mommy's vying for the coveted spots. I would highly recommend this to anyone looking for something light and funny but with good writing. A very funny 4 stars and I will definitely be reading the next in the series.
Top international reviews
This book will make any mother who wants their child to go to the best nursery/school laugh out loud.
We all know what it is like standing round the school gates with the mums who have been up since the crack of dawn getting themselves ready when most of us have only just enough time to feed and get the kids ready. well times this by 1000% and you meet some of the people in this book.
The book shows you the lengths people will go to so that their child gets into their choice of nursery/school however this book looks at the Onesies Club, a 3 day week club for Mothers and Toddlers who are 1 and over and the 6 people who are trying to get their child a place and all parents need to be married / have a husband who has a fantastic job and be in the Elite Club where you are someone and not just anyone.
This book will make you laugh however there is a serious side to this book as a mother finds out that her child is autistic however you need to read book 2 to find out what happens and how she copes.
Loads of laughs and snobbery but a great short read.
Off to read book 2 now :)
Totlandia is a about a posh playgroup - the Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club. Only San Francisco's elite is able to book a space in said playgroup. Rules are strict and members must undergo a gruelling application process. There are only ten spaces per group (onesies, twosies etc.) up for grabs. Book 1 follows six mums and toddlers who must compete for the last four remaining spots in the onesies group.
During the first chapters the reader is introduced to a range of characters who all have their own "dirty" little secrets. At first I found it slightly difficult to remember all these new names and faces but Josie's writing style makes it very easy for the reader to follow. Each character "develops" more and more in the chapters that follow. I personally learned to love these characters very quickly and cannot wait to find out who will eventually be accepted as a "full" member into the club.
I hugely enjoy Josie's writing style! Once I started reading this book it was very hard to put it down. I could so easily identify with all the characters. I almost felt as if I was applying for a space for my 8 months old daughter in the playgroup myself :-).
Totlandia is a fantastic read that I highly recommend! It is funny, exciting, intriguing and the suspense it creates is amazing.
An original storyline written from the perspectives of the different characters. Each character has an interesting back story which when combined with mischievous toddler antics and the difficulties of motherhood makes for a very funny read.