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Toxic In-Laws: Loving Strategies for Protecting Your Marriage Paperback – October 15, 2002
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About the Author
Susan Forward, PhD, is an internationally renowned therapist, lecturer, and author. Her books include the number-one New York Times bestsellers Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them and Toxic Parents. In addition to her private practice, she has served as a therapist, instructor, and consultant in numerous Southern California psychiatric and medical facilities.
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Top Customer Reviews
I liked how the book started out, describing the types of toxic in-laws, which include Critics, Engulfers, Controllers. Rejectors, and Masters of Chaos. The analysis of why they behave this way was right on. Examples of the reasons why include concern over "what people will think", a missing empathy gene, holding onto your partner (their child) at all costs, acting out old scripts, and exorcising their demons by attacking you. The author is so right when she warns young marrieds that if they think the in-laws are controlling now, just wait till the grandkids come along! She teaches us that although many of us cling to the false hope that "once they get to know me, they'll like me", time doesn't help and usually worsens the hostility.
We are shown that we are part of a triangle- often viewed as competition by our spouses' parents. Many times they don't like that they now have to deal with you, and that their issues are no longer just between them and their child. They know you influence their child and are angry that their child has "left them" for you. They may have rigid opinions, think they know everything and you (and/or their child) know nothing , and will distort reality to make it conform to their truth.
Unfortunately, the child of such in-laws usually does not stand up for his or her spouse. The spouse is left feeling like an outsider with everyone against her.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Really good book. Will not help you fix your relationship but definitely explain and help you deal with the situation. Read morePublished 21 days ago by L.ly
Exactly what I needed during a hard time. My In-Laws were steam rolling my husband and things got difficult when we finally stood up for ourselves.Published 1 month ago by Amazon Customer
Gave me some good insight to dealing with issues that have come up. There's a chapter for everyone in here.Published 1 month ago by Amazon Customer
It's okay I guess if you have other support systems. If your spouse and in laws are all you have this doesn't really applyPublished 2 months ago by puppy9
Excellent presentation on complex family issue. Helpful coping mechanisms - the best one being, saying, "Ouch" when someone hurts your feelings. Read morePublished 2 months ago by Eve Y. Visconti
Excellent and helpful book. I'm a grandmother so I bought it to avoid being the toxic in-law. Good advice on dealing with difficult family members without starting a World War. Read morePublished 4 months ago by Maria