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The Toy Box / Toys Are Not for Children

3.5 out of 5 stars 4 customer reviews

Additional DVD options Edition Discs
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(Jan 14, 2003)
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$84.89 $34.98

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Editorial Reviews

The Toy Box (1971, 89 min.) - Explore a kinky pleasure chest when swingers Donna and Ralph are invited to a midnight party at the castle of "Uncle," an overweight pervert. However, it appears that Uncle has died, which doesn't stop the guests from turning his wake into a non-stop orgy. Reality and illusion blur as various partygoers may or may not be gruesomely murdered; worse, a giant nude woman informs our guests that Uncle is actually an alien who's collecting specimens for an extraterrestrial toy store specializing in the brains of "depraved" humans! One of the most bizarre mixes of surreal sex and horror to ever assault audiences, "The Toy Box" features direction by the cinematographer of "Twin Peaks" and a cast of sex-film starlets including the incredible Uschi Digart, who gets fondled by an amorous bed! "Toys Are Not for Children" (1973, 84 min.) - Miserable with her marriage to a toy-store clerk and obsessed with memories of her long-absent father, child-like Jamie learns that toys are not for children when she turns her life around--by becoming a hooker! Playing "daddy's little girl" with dirty old men, she finds true happiness until a friend arranges a special "date" between Jamie and her whore-hungry dad that, to put it mildly, does not go well. Two toy-friendly sickies definitely not for the kiddies!

Special Features

  • Kink-O-Rama Trailers for "Ann and Eve," "The Depraved," "The Exquisite Cadaver," "Labyrinth of Sex," "The Naked Countess," "Sextet," "The Single Girls," "The Toy Box," "Toys Are Not for Children" and "Tales of the Bizarre"
  • Follow a Toy from the Factory to the Store to the Home of a Good Little Boy in the Classroom Short "The Toy Telephone Truck"
  • Good Little Girls get Good Little Toys in the 1930s Nudie Short "Christmas Eves"
  • Gallery of Harry Novak Exploitation Art with Soundtrack Greatest Hits

Product Details

  • Actors: Sean Kenney, Ann Perry, Neal Bishop, Debbie Osborne, T.E. Brown
  • Directors: Ronald Víctor García, Stanley H. Brassloff
  • Writers: Ronald Víctor García, Stanley H. Brassloff, Macs McAree
  • Producers: Harry H. Novak, Paul Hunt, Phillip Yankowitz
  • Format: Color, Full Screen, NTSC
  • Language: English (Dolby Digital 2.0 Mono)
  • Region: Region 1 (U.S. and Canada only. Read more about DVD formats.)
  • Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1
  • Number of discs: 1
  • Rated:
    Not Rated
  • Studio: Image Entertainment
  • DVD Release Date: January 14, 2003
  • Run Time: 175 minutes
  • Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
  • ASIN: B00007ELDS
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #122,105 in Movies & TV (See Top 100 in Movies & TV)
  • Learn more about "The Toy Box / Toys Are Not for Children" on IMDb

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Top Customer Reviews

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"THE TOY BOX" was pretty lame...but that's not why I bought this DOULBLE FEATURE DISK!
"TOYS ARE NOT FOR CHILDREN" is bizarre and beautiful! And Super Creepy! Child-like grown woman is obsessed with pleasing her do this she becomes a 'prostitute' because the only thing she knows about him is that he fancies the 'working girls'. She hasn't seen him since she was six years old...but somehow thoughout her life he sends her children's toys (that she sexualizes as a way to relate to good ol' Dad).
Bad scripting, bad directing, really bad acting, crummy editing, and disjointed plot twists add up to one heck of a nail biter at the end.
Buy this disk if you like twisted storylines...AND the disk has a great short about a toy truck. And a short nudie about some Christmas Cuties.
Something Weird Video RULES THE SKOOL!!!
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Toys are not for Children is an interesting and original movie that charts unchartered territory that is probably better off unchartered. I started off liking this movie a lot, but after repeated viewings the numerous fault of this film become so apparent that it makes any attempt to take it seriously difficult.

The formula for this sexploitation flick is simple: take a taboo s e x subject and milk it for all its worth. These movies usually are just an excuse to make soft core pxxrn. TanfC doesn't need a lot of nudity to keep its viewers attention as it is quite controversial on its own.

You see, Jamie Gedard, our hero-ine has a certain fixation on daddy-dearest and has a nasty habit of taking the toys he gives her "to bed with her." Yes, at first this is a very original idea, but when the initial reaction wears off its just plain silly. The movie opens with her laying in bed nude with a toy soldier moaning "daddy, daddy." After this we have the titles that are shown over footage of various toys along with the catchy theme song, "Lonely am I."

Now Jamie's getting married to this boy she works with. This movie jumps around through time a lot. I have to give the movie credit for this non-chronological scene sequence it develops long before Pulp Fiction made it chic to do so. Anywho, now on their honeymoon, they give us the pleasure of watching her husband, Charlie, undress while Jamie undresses in the bathroom. Thanks a lot movie, way to service your audience. We also have to sit through some painful early synth music.

The good news for Charlie is that his new wife is incredibly hot, the bad news is she is bat-shxxt crazy and frigid and would rather sleep with her toy soldier than him. In the city she befriends a vvhore named Pearl.
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This review is for "The Toy Box" only:

Without a doubt, this is probably the strangest and most bizarre sexploitation film I've ever seen. And given the amount of them that I've watched, that's truly saying something.

The plot revolves around a swingers party, where the guests act out sexually perverse scenarios for a man called "Uncle" to obtain gifts from a mysterious "toy box." But when a couple of the guests suspect all is not as it seems, including the identity of "Uncle," we go from a very commonplace sexploitation piece and veer off into an insanely wild and absurd story involving aliens and humans sold as drugs.

This film isn't so much shocking, as it is it off-the-wall kooky. For the first 45 minutes, I had little idea what I was watching. It isn't until the end of the second act that the pieces of this oddball story start to fall into place. The film does live up to it's perverse billing, though, as you see plenty of weird sexual antics, not the least of which is faux necrophilia, faux cannibalism, and the first (and only, I believe) display of a woman molested by a bed. Yes, you heard right, she is sexually pleasured by an actual bed. The murders, such as they happen, are mostly off-screen implied than shown. And when you get the big revelation of who "Uncle" really is, as well as what this party is really all about, well, it'll make about as much sense as anything else you've seen up to that point.

The cast is a virtual who's who of 60's and 70's exploitation films, with the curvaceous sex bombs, Marsha Jordan and Uschi Digard, among the most notable of them. All the actors don't really do much acting, as the film is much more centered on the sexual displays, as most films of this kind are.
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"The Toy Box" (aka "The Orgy Box") might have been a porn film, I'm not sure, but the Amazon version is not very explicit.
There's a supernatural sex theme as various people get their just desserts in interesting ways, the best being as Uschi Diggart is seduced by the bed-sheets she lies in.
Very little makes sense, but I loved it for that alone.
The next film "Toys are not for Children" is quite strange (not in any positive way). A girl is obsessed with her long-lost father and the toys she got from him.
She grows up to an immature woman. A man marries her, but she can't satisfy him or herself as she wants to sleep with her toys. I thought that this was just stupid.
Somehow she gets involved with an odd woman who sets her up with another man (who *spoiler alert* *spoiler alert* turns out to be her daddy whom she kills)!
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