Who goes to get a hammy ham sandwich in the middle of the night and ends up getting her face bitten by an unhandsome stranger? This girl over here. I guess the lesson in that is:
- If you are a single woman, don't go buy anymore sandwiches in Brooklyn after 10 p.m. ✓
- If you are a single woman, don’t go buy sandwiches in Brooklyn by yourself. ✓
- Don’t go buy anything by your single woman self. That's obviously asking for trouble. ✓
- Stay in the house for the rest of eternity to properly avoid men with teeth as all single women should do. ✓✓✓
That way, all of us can avoid getting our faces bitten by cannibalistic men set on making your their girlfriend against your will. Tragic.
Isn't dating as a woman already hard enough without worrying about the next time you're going to get a face-full of freshly buttered teeth? I think the hell so. I’ve been dating as a black woman since before I even reached womanhood. That’s how bad it is out here in these love-streets.
That’s just one happening. In the rest of these little lessons we will talk about the absolute horrors of trying to casually date, how to attempt getting over very sad one-night stands, what I fondly call "deadline dating", sticking to some portion of your dating standards, setting your relationship goals, giving up your relationship goals, the emotional abuse and manipulation that is so ripe in the world of dating to fall in love, and what happens when you no longer believe you can fall in love. The truest of all the tragedies.
We shouldn't talk about that though. We’re supposed to be eternally hopeful that love is out there and believe that us, women, are the problem. Other dating books for women tell you that women just need to change to properly fall in love. I'm here to tell you that we aren't the problem and that we don't need to change. Just like it isn't my fault that I innocently went out looking for a salted sandwich with some tomatoes on it and ended up having some giant stranger sink his teeth into my face. I couldn't have predicted that. Just like none of us could have predicted we'd still have troubles finding something that is supposedly as easy to find as love.
Love ain't that easy. You aren't being difficult for wanting the best love for yourself, you're honoring yourself, and sometimes you need to experience some truly unfortunate things to get back to finding the love you deserve. I surely hate it, but I’ve been there. Let's go on this journey together as I present to you my own tragically hilarious stories about love and the funny relationship stories that came out of those tawdry experiences.
Start laughing...and crying...and laughing again by buying your copy of Tragically Hilarious Tales About Love now.