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Transforming Your Self: Becoming who you want to be Paperback – November 1, 2002
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Learn a model for changing the beliefs that impact us the most -- those about our own identity. Everyone agrees it's good to have high self-esteem, but almost no one knows how to actually get it. Practices such as "just loving yourself more" don't usually work. This model shows how to discover the unconscious structure of identity, and how to align your identity with your values. The result is a resilient self-esteem that naturally leads to "becoming who you want to be." This is an advanced NLP book, most useful for those who have background in Neuro-Linguistic Programming.
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From the Publisher
Lonnie Barbach, Ph.D., Psychologist, author of For Yourself and The Pause.
If you read only one book this year, make it this one. While the world of psychotherapy is dizzy trying to learn techniques, here is one of the very few books that provides enduring value! Stephen Lankton, MSW, DAHB, author of 15 books, including The Answer Within, Practical Magic, and Tales of Enchantment.
With specific instruction, real-life examples, and an all-important sense of humor, Steve Andreas unpacks this vitally important process clearly and succinctly, going 'under the hood' to show you how to rebuild, fine tune, and change your self-concept and self-esteem. Bill O'Hanlon, MFT, author/coauthor of 20 books, including Do One Thing Different and In Search of Solutions.
If someone told you that you could quickly and radically transform your life and increase your feelings of self worth-without having to undergo elaborate psychotherapy, a long-term major personality overhaul, or take anti-depressants-would you want to know how? Read this book now! You'll find powerful processes for creating self-acceptance and self-love. Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW, author, Divorce Busting and The Divorce Remedy.
In this beautiful and often brilliant book, Steve Andreas addresses the core distinction of personal identity. The examples are lucid, the methods are practical and eminently useful, and the writing is exceptionally clear. I highly recommend it!' Stephen Gilligan, Ph.D, author of Therapeutic Trances and The Courage to Love.
You expect to have your eyes opened about self-concept by reading this book, and they are. Then it turns out to be much more: an exploration of many of the ins and outs and mysteries of being human, too. Steve's astonishing directness and inviting confidence make it all easy to hear and take in.
David Gordon, MFT, author of Therapeutic Metaphor.
Many have traveled to the misty land of identity and self-concept, but until now, none have returned with a comprehensive framework of understanding. This remarkable book is elegant, understandable, and above all, eminently practical.
Glen Johnson, M.D., psychiatrist.
In this innovative and engaging book, Steve Andreas provides a clear lens for better seeing the core of who we are. He shatters some popular myths about self-concept and self-esteem, replacing them with useful concepts and practical strategies for enhancing our selves.
Michael D. Yapko, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist, author of Breaking the Patterns of Depression.
Transforming Your Self fulfills its promise. When you read it and take time to do the simple, practical, "how to" exercises, you will come away with a deeper understanding of yourself, like yourself better, and live your life more consciously.
Tim and Kris Hallbom, NLP trainers
This work is the best and most thorough example of NLP modeling excellence. The organization, sequencing, breadth of thinking, and rigor in distinguishing between structure/process and content shines throughout. I love the teaching style: clear distinctions, examples, humor, demonstration, and gems of practical wisdom in every chapter. I have used many of these methods in my own life, and my clients are also using them to get immediate results.
Kirk VandenBerghe, NLP Trainer, Author, Speaker, and Coach.
This practical, how-to book is a "must read" for those in the helping professions, as well as those who want to change troublesome aspects of their own self concept.
Suzi Smith, co-author of Beliefs: pathways to health and well-being, and other NLP videotapes and audiotapes.
About the Author
- Publisher : Real People Press (November 1, 2002)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 294 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0911226435
- ISBN-13 : 978-0911226430
- Item Weight : 13.6 ounces
- Dimensions : 6.12 x 0.77 x 9 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #980,181 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author
Top reviews from the United States
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This for me is one of the best personal change books that I have ever used. Though to benefit from it you really must play with distinctions and do the work. And it is probably best to have some background in NLP as other reviewers have mentioned. It could also be helpful to have a friend or two to work through the exercises. Really good stuff. One could, I think, create an entire personal change course or workshop based just on this book and give participants amazing results.
If you want to "geek out" and go into some of the distinctions in more academic and detailed manner, you may also want to consider Six Blind Elephants: Understanding Ourselves and Each Other, Vol. 1: Fundamental Principles of Scope and Category and Six Blind Elephants: Understanding Ourselves and Each Other, Vol. 2: Applications and Explorations of Scope and Category (v. 2)
He doesn't fall in to the trap of thinking you can bury your head in the sand and think happy thoughts. In fact, coaching you to avoid that is one of the major features of this book. He's after a self-concept that's realistic and constructive. Not delusional, not depressive, not oblivious, not cynicism calling itself realism. Realistic in a way that's useful. And he knows how to get it.
I am about 70% through the book and I am already using it with my clients (I am a hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner) and myself, with good results.
The book consists of transcripts from a workshop. It is best read slowly, practicing as you go.
TRANSFORMING YOUR SELF is a book that should, in my opinion, be much more widely known and taught, among NLP practitioners but also in the wider therapeutic community.
Written primarly from the transcripts of seminars he presented on the topic, you'll find countless examples of application....something many so called "how to" books fail to provide.
If you will STOP...and actually do the exercises provided at the end of each section, you're sure to come away with a structural change of your self concept, one that will support you in anything else you might desire to do or achieve.
Top reviews from other countries
Steve Andreas has now turned his wisdom and clarity of thought to the problem of self-concept (how we see ourselves, and how we know that we have particular qualities) and how self-esteem is derived from it. The result is this magnificent book, the implications of which will continue to reverberate through the worlds of therapy, coaching and emotional intelligence for some time to come.
The book is once again in the form of a seminar transcript, with practical exercises at every step of the way. It gives you a complete 'how-to' guide for strengthening self-concept, how to 'tune up' your sense of yourself as having a particular quality such as kindness, how to become at once stronger and more sensitive and open to feedback, how to be more sure of yourself and less judgemental of others, how to transform unwanted qualities, and even how to install a new desired quality from scratch.
I recently based a module of my NLP Master Practitioner course on the concepts and interventions in this book, and they worked exactly as the book predicted. I have also found they work well for my coaching clients.
One slight caveat: the title implies a self-help book, but I would say that at least some familiarity with NLP would be needed to get the most out of the exercises.
NLP book of the year, and a must for therapists and coaches!
In Transforming yourself you essentially identify the database of references that let you know you have or lack a certain quality - and then change these references to strengthen or weaken that quality. It's all very exciting and certainly works - to an extent.
The problems come when you have higher frames that don't want you to change certain aspects of the self - and to solve that takes a degree of skill: at the least in reframing of some sorts, at the most - the ability to ride the loops of the mind and tackle the higher linguistic frames that keep the lower 'submodality' frames in place. The traditional NLP model does not deal easily with this and this book doesn't tackle the 'what to do if it doesn't work' part. So a degree of NLP skill is certainly needed if following the process doesn't bring the results you want. Check out Frame Games by Michael Hall.
Having said that, it's the first book that comprehensively tackles the ideas of increasing certain qualities - and I myself am excited about this having tried to increase certain values for a long time. Clearing out old references and creating new databases full of courage, gratitude etc...
I do like this book: it's rare to read something so fresh and insightful - just have someone to help you who knows NLP if you get stuck.