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The Transgender Child: A Handbook for Families and Professionals Paperback – June 28, 2008

by Stephanie Brill (Author)

4.7 342 ratings

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This comprehensive first of its kind guidebook explores the unique challenges that thousands of families face every day raising their children in every city and state. Through extensive research and interviews, as well as years of experience working in the field, the authors cover gender variance from birth through college. What do you do when your toddler daughter's first sentence is that she's a boy? What will happen when your preschool son insists on wearing a dress to school? Is this ever just a phase? How can you explain this to your neighbors and family? How can parents advocate for their children in elementary schools? What are the current laws on the rights of transgender children? What do doctors specializing in gender variant children recommend? What do the therapists say? What advice do other families who have trans kids have? What about hormone blockers and surgery? What issues should your college-bound trans child be thinking about when selecting a school? How can I best raise my gender variant or transgender child with love and compassion, even when I barely understand the issues ahead of us? And what is gender, anyway? These questions and more are answered in this book offering a deeper understanding of gender variant and transgender children and teens.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Libraries may own books dealing with transgender adults, but this is the only guide about raising transgender children. While the general message to parents is that "you have nothing to apologize for and nothing to be embarrassed about," the authors make it clear that parents and families will not have it easy. Realistic and empowering. Background: What do you do when it's Grandma's birthday dinner and your eight-year-old son insists on wearing his dress and Mary Janes? And how do you handle dating when your transgirl daughter still has male sex organs? Brill (founder, Gender Spectrum Education and Training) and Pepper (coordinator, LGBT studies, Yale Univ.) bring solid credentials and years of research to help parents and others deal with issues specific to transgender children. Answers may not be easy, but blaming the child, denying access to transgender friends, and verbal threats are not helpful. When parents recognize their child's gender identity, there can be feelings of confusion, anger, shock, fear, shame, and grief. Most children have gender identities by age two or three; like homosexuality, being transgender is not a choice. Nor is it, as it has often been labeled, "acting out" in anger against parents. There is much detail about medical practices and legal matters, most of which become issues as transgender children become adults."---Linda Beck, Indian Valley P.L., Telford, PA -- Library Journal--June 24, 2008

About the Author

Stephanie Brill is a leading expert on a broad range of topics related to gender diversity. She is the author of landmark books including The Transgender Teen (with Lisa Kenney) and The Transgender Child (with Rachel Pepper). She is the founder and Board Chair of Gender Spectrum, an organization at the forefront of work related to children, youth and gender. Her work has been featured on 20/20, The Huffington Post, San Francisco Chronicle, All Things Considered, and The New York Times.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Cleis Press; 1st edition (June 28, 2008)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 270 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1573443182
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1573443180
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 12.5 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.68 x 8.5 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #339,197 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #357 in Parenting & Family Reference
- #478 in LGBTQ+ Demographic Studies
- #715 in General Gender Studies

Customer Reviews:
4.7 342 ratings

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Rachel Pepper
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Rachel Pepper is a licensed therapist who has published four books. Her latest book is the IPPY award winning anthology Transitions of the Heart: Stories of Love, Struggle and Acceptance by Mothers of Transgender and Gender Variant Children, published by Cleis in May, 2012. This collection by more than 30 mothers of diverse backgrounds and ages provides a window into the transition mothers go though along with their children. Rachel is also the co-author of the groundbreaking Transgender Child: A Handbook for Families and Professionals, written with Stephanie Brill. The Transgender Child has garnered rave reviews from readers all over the world as an affirming book for families who want to better understand their gender diverse or transgender child. It has also been translated into German. She can be directly contacted at RLPepper@Hotmail.com. Please also see her website at www.rachel-pepper.com.
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Stephanie A. Brill
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Stephanie Brill is a leading expert on a broad range of topics related to gender diversity. She is the author of landmark books including The Transgender Teen (with Lisa Kenney) and The Transgender Child (with Rachel Pepper). She is the founder and Board Chair of Gender Spectrum, an organization at the forefront of work related to children, youth and gender. She is also co-founder and Board Chair of Reimagine Gender, an organization working with corporations, NGOs, legislators and policy makers to open a world of possibilities for all people to realize their potential by addressing and expanding today’s limiting concepts of gender.
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Customer reviews

342 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book provides helpful information and insights. They describe it as a great resource that is easy to read and understand. Readers appreciate the compassionate, caring, and supportive tone of the book. The writing style is straightforward and clear.

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Information quality Readability Compassion Ease of reading

70 customers mention "Information quality"70 positive0 negative

Customers find the book provides helpful information and insights. They say it provides a deeper understanding and tools for their toolbox. The book covers many aspects and gives a good overview of developmental issues and how professionals and families can work together.

"...I was up to speed and knowledgeable, but this book gave me a much deeper understanding and many tools for my toolbox to help me support my child...." Read more

"...dealing with a TG child this is a very good book that covers a lot of useful information. The biggest single peace of advice is "Communication"...." Read more

"...Nonetheless, it is full of helpful and compassionate parenting advice...." Read more

"...and this book has some great insight and knowledge for people in various places of acceptance. I also have The Transgender Teen now too!..." Read more

40 customers mention "Readability"40 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to read with useful information. They consider it a great resource for educators, counselors, and parents. The content is informative and helpful.

"Absolutely love this book. I know there’s a newer addition out with more updated information, however this book is a great place to start...." Read more

"...parent of a TG child or you are dealing with a TG child this is a very good book that covers a lot of useful information...." Read more

"...The content is awesome!" Read more

"...An excellent read, and one I will go back to and purchase for others." Read more

16 customers mention "Compassion"16 positive0 negative

Customers find the book compassionate and supportive. They say it gives everyone a place for their feelings while focusing on what's important. The book provides helpful parenting advice and answers many questions. It leaves them feeling empowered and with an important message.

"...Easy to read, straightforward, and compassionate...." Read more

"...Another point is respect, showing the child respect and what adults preach about respect is true...." Read more

"...Nonetheless, it is full of helpful and compassionate parenting advice...." Read more

"...This gives everyone a place for their feelings while focusing on what's important..a happy, health, supported and safe child." Read more

14 customers mention "Ease of reading"14 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and understand. They describe it as straightforward, compassionate, and accurate.

"...Easy to read, straightforward, and compassionate...." Read more

"...It is clear and straightforward. I loved all of the quotes and messages from transgender children and their families...." Read more

"This is a very readable, straight forward view of emotional, social, and physical challenges faced by children, parents, family, community systems,..." Read more

"...This book is very easy to read and doesn't faff around...." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

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Lilith
Lifesaver!
Reviewed in the United States on September 3, 2024
Verified Purchase
Absolutely love this book. I know there’s a newer addition out with more updated information, however this book is a great place to start. Easy to read, straightforward, and compassionate. I thought I was up to speed and knowledgeable, but this book gave me a much deeper understanding and many tools for my toolbox to help me support my child. I would buy it many times over and hand it out like candy! I’m planning on getting the updated edition next.

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Sandra Dunn
Like the title says
Reviewed in the United States on March 22, 2009
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If you are a parent of a TG child or you are dealing with a TG child this is a very good book that covers a lot of useful information. The biggest single peace of advice is "Communication". At each stage of the transition or at the time of transition communication has to be exercised. The book does not recommend to advertise the fact about a child who is transitioning, it is learning to communicate effectively with those who need to know and to let the child have a say in who knows. Another point is respect, showing the child respect and what adults preach about respect is true. Another book I cried with, got angry about what some people think is best, and I cheered for those who could be themselves. The book does cover the many of the different sections of the TG spectrum and gives suggestions on how to handle them; with each area of suggestions it is recommend to utilize a therapist which has a good understanding of TG issues.

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7 people found this helpful

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islandgirl from California
Highly recommended!
Reviewed in the United States on September 11, 2023
Verified Purchase
This is the original book which has since been revised. Nonetheless, it is full of helpful and compassionate parenting advice. That said, I think there it’s would be helpful to a much wider audience: social workers, teachers of children age 2 and up, family friends, t al.

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Justin
This is a great resource! I work with trans youth and families ...
Reviewed in the United States on October 6, 2016
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This is a great resource! I work with trans youth and families and this book has some great insight and knowledge for people in various places of acceptance. I also have The Transgender Teen now too! Each book arrived to me in somewhat worn condition with folds/dents that did not look like they came just from packaging/shipping as I got these in two separate orders and the other items that shipped with these were not damaged in any way so it makes me think it came prepackaged a little worn for some reason. It's not a huge deal since I will get use out of these and they will likely get bent up from regular use anyway, it was just strange to get brand new books in this condition. The content is awesome!

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3 people found this helpful

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Julie
Great read for ANYONE who cares about kids and gender in society.
Reviewed in the United States on May 22, 2016
Verified Purchase
Part of me wishes this book were called "Kids and Gender: How Not To Screw Them Up." I've been interested in the possibilities of raising kids apart from society's strict and limiting "blue is for boys, pink is for girls" scripts since before I even had kids, and now that I do I have found surprisingly few resources, especially about raising boys. This book has excellent advice about parenting in our modern world and how to listen to and appreciate our kids' openness about gender. Yes, it also has a lot of specifics for families dealing with gender-variant and transgender/cross-gender kids, but I genuinely think there is something here to benefit ANY parent, caregiver, teacher, therapist, principal, pediatrician, etc who confronts and finds problematic the way our society stamps gender on kids based on their anatomy. An excellent read, and one I will go back to and purchase for others.

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5 people found this helpful

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Amazon Customer
What a Godsend
Reviewed in the United States on September 26, 2008
Verified Purchase
This book was recommended to me by an Aunt after we sent out an email letting our family and friends know that our daughter would now be living as our son. I can not tell you enough how many questions this book answered and how much comfort it gave me to know that my questions weren't unique they were common.
And when it came time for our son to attend school as his new self this book went along for the ride. I offered it to teachers, principles, and any other person who seemed to need more information and understanding. The best part was this book does not point a finger or try to change peoples religious or political views which I sometimes find pushes people away from excepting. Instead this book just gives the facts, it tells you the details of everything on what to expect, how to talk to doctors, and what the laws are for trans children. My favorite part was at the end when it gave letter examples that your local doctor could follow to hand out to schools and other areas where you might need one.
This book has become my guide and I reference it often.

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34 people found this helpful

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Bellany Zimz
Thoughtful Guide.
Reviewed in the United States on May 6, 2022
Verified Purchase
As the parent of a transgender teen, I find the thoughtful approach to be wonderful. This gives everyone a place for their feelings while focusing on what's important..a happy, health, supported and safe child.

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One person found this helpful

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Duncan
THE "go-to" resource for parents of trans kids
Reviewed in the United States on September 2, 2012
Verified Purchase
This book is truly wonderful. It has all the basic information that folks need to know to understand the concept of transgender kids, but also goes into depth and provides specific strategies for dealing with the host of issues and problems that transkids and their parents, families, and friends have to address.

As the parent of a transkid myself, this was my first major resource to gather information and understanding, and I have ordered more than a dozen copies over the past several years to give to teachers, principals, afterschool program supervisors, family members, and friends who needed to understand the big picture.

This book is essential for anyone who needs to know more themselves, or who needs to educate others to help protect and support trans children.

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16 people found this helpful

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Top reviews from other countries

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John D
Excellent book anyone wanting to understand the transgender fact.
Reviewed in Canada on May 11, 2017
Verified Purchase
If you are facing the fact of a transgender child, or even suspect that your child may be gender fluid in someway, this book will provide a good deal of understanding and a good deal of excellent advice. Our society has a long way to go in understanding that gender and sexuality are two different and distinct attributes and that both are non-binary, existing on a spectrum. This book explains the basic facts in a clear and concise manner. I paticularly appreciated the many statements from parents and children who have lived the real world experience. I am a grandfather of a transgender child and I would whole heartedly recommend this book.

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Viviana
Ottimo
Reviewed in Italy on July 2, 2016
Verified Purchase
Libro ben fatto! Spiega in maniera chiara la transizione nel bambino. Utile a tutti.
Lo consiglio a chiunque voglia saperne di più su questo argomento.

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Listwriter
Incredibly helpful!
Reviewed in Germany on April 4, 2016
Verified Purchase
The Transgender Child is an excellent introductory book for parents and professionals! I found it incredibly helpful. There are also many resources listed.

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Amy R
Excellent!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 6, 2013
Verified Purchase
This is a great book for any parents or professionals working with young people. Although some of the more specific advice is very US-focused the discussion and real experiences are very useful. A particularly good aspect of the book is that it focusses on a broad range of gender expressions and identities and so is also useful for parents of children whose gender expressions differ from those of their peers. A very useful book.

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gigi905
So I now know that there is no such thing as simply male and female gender .
Reviewed in Canada on July 1, 2017
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A must read for everyone interested in accepting all people as equals and with compassion. It was a eye opener and it has given me an understanding about the differences along the gender spectrum. This book is comprehensive and research based.

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