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Trigger Points: Childhood abuse survivors experiences of parenting Paperback – November 5, 2015
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About the Author
Dawn Daum is co-editor of Trigger Points: Childhood Abuse Survivors Experiences of Parenting. She spends her work week as a mental health care manager, helping others put and keep pieces of their lives together. Working in the trenches of the mental health system, and being a survivor of childhood abuse with an ACE score of 9, Dawn is passionate about bringing trauma-informed care to the forefront of mental health and medical care. When she isn't working or capturing life on paper, she's taking advantage of life's simple pleasures with her husband and two children in Upstate, NY.
Dawn's work has been featured on Huff Post Parents, Huff Post Comedy, The Indie Chicks, Elephant Journal and Scary Mommy.
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As far as I know this is the only book edited, written and published by survivors of childhood abuse who are parents. It is the only anthology geared towards survivor parents as well.
What a relief. What a celebration. What a triumph. Two editors created the very life-changing and maybe life-saving resource they needed. Go Dawn Daum and Joyelle Brandt. Go to the every single contributor who shared such personal emotions and experiences. There's little of what makes survivor parenting challenging that is not here.
This book will help other survivor parents feel less alone. It deals with topics such as:
Fears of bathing or changing diapers.
Worries and terror at being unable to keep our children safe.
Shame for being triggered by parenting or for having symptoms of post-traumatic stress while parenting.
The authors are all candid, daring and Brene Brown vulnerable and brave. .
But this isn't just a book of revelation, confession or memoir. It also has suggested resources, journal prompts and author bios which follow each essay. As a reader, I'm asked to think and journal about the topics I'm reading about. And, I'm allowed to get to know each writer immediately following his or her essay. This is a format and style I've not seen before. It works well and engages me as a reader.
I'm grateful this honest, practical, warm and well-written is available. It will be especially beneficial to new parents and those struggling or feeling isolated or overwhelmed.
Thank goodness there is a resource that's not clinical or condescending. It's refreshing and rare.
It acknowledges the terror, uncertainty and apprehension many of us felt (or feel) while parenting.
What I hope follows is a book with practical parenting suggestions and tips, survivor to survivor, sharing what does work well and the parts of parenting that are joyful, funny and healing. I'm not sure this is a critique of the book though when there are so few survivor-specific parenting resources.
Often, as survivors we must make our own way and even the blissful and effective tools we discover we have had to make up or copy by watching others. I hope this book is the beginning of a ton of books for survivor parents. The books shows how much we crave community and support while engaged in break-the-cycle parenting.
Disclosure: I am a contributing author to this book. One of my essays appears in Trigger Points. However, until tonight I had not read any of the other essays in this book. I didn't know who contributed or what the book layout was. In addition, I will not gain financially no matter how successful the book or the number of copies sold. My review is genuine and voluntary.
I wish I could have had this book in my own early parenting. I'm glad others will.
We are NOT ALONE! We deserve support. And we can create it for ourselves when it's not yet available. And thanks to Joyelle and Dawn who did just that!
But this book was different.
Reading it was a wonderful experience.
It is highly informative, it gives references to many scientific resources, therapeutic approaches and blogs. It includes fathers' point of view, which is great and rare in scientific literature.
But above all this book is an emotional and moving journey.
Several women and men (now mothers and fathers), sharing their painful memories, their fears, showing the scars in their souls, allowing the reader to see through their most intimate thoughts and feelings!
I felt honoured and gifted by them.
This book stands, in my opinion, as a monument to those men and women who struggle every day to overcome the pain to be able to be good-enough mothers and fathers, to break the cyrcle of abuse, to be able to love their children and feel their affection. None of these stories tell of miraculous healings and happy families. No, they tell about people who chose to live instead of surrending to the pain, who made the choice of carrying some good in the world, even thought the world brought them nothing but bruises.
I know as a researcher, and i (all too well) know as a father, how hard it is to become a parent, to really be able to let this incredible human experience flood our hearts. And i can only imagine how hard could it be for someone who was treated as unlovable and unworthy.
This book made me a better researcher because it gave me dozens of hints to study different aspects of abused parents' emotions.
But most importantly, it made a better father because it helped me reflect on my experience as a parent through the memories of my own childhood.
Thanks to the authors for their great work.
Most recent customer reviews
My children are now 30 & 23, and I see so much of their early years in the pages.Read more