- Paperback: 224 pages
- Publisher: Zondervan (October 1, 2013)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0310336791
- ISBN-13: 978-0310336792
- Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.6 x 8 inches
- Shipping Weight: 3.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 199 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #78,302 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of your Life Paperback – October 1, 2013
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"We love this book! Debra gives every single looking for love a great game plan filled with personal counsel, biblical wisdom, and practical steps. Don't wait to read it. Your love life needs this book."
--Gary Thomas, Best Selling Author of The Sacred Marriage and Sacred Search
"Hands down, the best book on dating that I've ever read! If you're single, this is a must read. Jam-packed with wise counsel, Debra becomes your personal mentor as she answers dozens of real-life dating and relationship questions. Pastors and church leaders, get this resource into the hands of your singles!"
--- Chris Reed, Pastor to 20s/30s and Singles at Saddleback Church, Lake Forest, CA
"True Love Dates is spot on! There isn't one single I know who doesn't want to be in a successful relationship. Many singles today have lost hope because they don't know what a healthy relationship looks like or have the vision and tools to get there. Debra addresses every question singles are asking (or should be asking themselves). Most importantly, Debra shows that not only does true love date, it is only possible through a relationship with God. If you're single, you need to read this book!"
---Ashley Reccord at ChristianMingle.com
"True Love Dates is a wonderful dating/love/relationship resource for young women. I absolutely love that it instills our self-worth and value as daughters of God and teaches us to look for His best in our potential mate while refining ourselves as true ladies, leaders and lovers in Christ. This is an absolute must-read and pivotal for any woman no matter your age or relationship history."
---Kristen Dalton, Miss USA 2009
About the Author
Debra Fileta is an author, national speaker, and licensed professional counselor specializing in love, dating, sex, marriage and relationship issues. She's the creator of the popular relationship blog TrueLoveDates.com, reaching millions with the message that healthy people make healthy relationships.
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What I love about Debra's book is that she approaches it from both a psychological perspective as well as a spiritual. As a young adult who has grown up in church culture, I either heard to "kiss dating goodbye", to "simply not have sex before marriage", and basically avoided/got into relationships with all sorts of brokenness, fears, shame, guilt, and distorted mentalities-- and I know I'm not the only young adult Christian who has gone through that.
Debra, however dissects all the confusion and lays it all out clearly and simply by explaining WHY dating/sex/marriage under God's wisdom can lead to a beautiful and healthy dating life towards marriage. She writes compassionately without overly spiritualizing it or getting legalistic about it, while including many relateable, real-life examples from her patients that show how both wrong--and sometimes even right looking relationships, can sometimes still not be the right, God-intended relationship for us.
There are many factors that come into play when we consider dating, and Debra does a great job of challenging readers to first examine themselves and their purpose behind dating towards marriage for God, while single OR in relationship. She goes in depth of how who we choose should lead towards a healthy and passionate marriage, in both physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual connection, as well as interdependence.
A lot of it actually isn't rocket science, but when in the midst of deep seated emotions, highs, and certain misconstrued mentalities, I believe it's easy to keep approaching relationships in all the wrong ways that end up hurting ourselves and others in the long run, further obscuring us from God's original great plans for us.
One last aspect I love about True Love Dates, is that it does a great job in explaining that there is NOTHING wrong in desiring a relationship with someone! Instead, Debra challenges readers to ask ourselves if we desiring it with the right posture for Jesus? and how can we be involved with our communities+personal growth to avoid simply dating out of "loneliness"?
True Love Dates tackles many of these hard questions that I personally feel the church does not often go in depth enough. The book holds much wisdom and value that can save many lives. I'd def. recommend this book and her blog to everyone, Christian or not!
The concepts of the book can apply to ANY human relationship: family, friends and definitely 'dating'/marriage. The author doesn't provide a formula to implement for the 'perfect dating relationship leading to the perfect marriage'. Rather, Fileta reinforces healthy emotional, spiritual and social principles that will encourage and challenge readers of all ages and life stages!
Definitely a must-read for older teens, college/young adults and 'singles' - but also an excellent read for pastors, youth leaders, mentors, parents and grandparents.
Debra’s book is a book that has turned my thinking about relationships 180 degrees. She divided her book into four parts namely: Dating Inward, Dating Outward, Dating Upward and Ask The Counselor.
Dating inward is about dating the person you never thought you would date, yourself. This is not about being narcissistic but it is about learning about yourself. Many of us focus on finding the right person but we never take the time to become the right person ourselves. Pick up the list that you made for a potential partner and use it against yourself.
After you understand your past, your present and have a clear vision about your future. It is now time to date outward. Dating outward is about knowing clearly the kind of person you want. The author suggests coming up with a list. A list of reds (things that tell you to stop with your pursuit), yellows (these are signs that you need to proceed with caution and greens (things that you need in your potential partner).
Dating outward is also about understanding the seasons of a relationship and responding accordingly. Another great thing about the book is that Debra says we need to say Yes to Sex, in the boundaries of marriage of course!
Dating upward is about including God in your relationship and letting godly values lead you. It is also about realizing the things that a relationship cannot satisfy. My other favourite message in this part is about dating with no regrets, where you avoid doing things that you will later regret.
The last part is Ask the counselor where the author answers some of the frequently asked questions about relationships.
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