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True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of your Life Paperback – October 1, 2013

4.7 out of 5 stars 183 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"We love this book!  Debra gives every single looking for love a great game plan filled with personal counsel, biblical wisdom, and practical steps.  Don't wait to read it.  Your love life needs this book."  
---Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott  New York Times Best Selling authors of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts.


"True Love Dates blends the wisdom of a counselor with the sage experience of a woman who has made a wise marital choice and wants to help others to do so as well. Debra Fileta finds just the right balance for pursuing a life mate with proper spiritual priorities, practical wisdom and responsible personal care."

--Gary Thomas, Best Selling Author of The Sacred Marriage and Sacred Search


"Hands down, the best book on dating that I've ever read! If you're single, this is a must read. Jam-packed with wise counsel, Debra becomes your personal mentor as she answers dozens of real-life dating and relationship questions. Pastors and church leaders, get this resource into the hands of your singles!"

--- Chris Reed, Pastor to 20s/30s and Singles at Saddleback Church, Lake Forest, CA


"True Love Dates is spot on! There isn't one single I know who doesn't want to be in a successful relationship.   Many singles today have lost hope because they don't know what a healthy relationship looks like or have the vision and tools to get there.  Debra addresses every question singles are asking (or should be asking themselves).  Most importantly, Debra shows that not only does true love date, it is only possible through a relationship with God. If you're single, you need to read this book!"

---Ashley Reccord at ChristianMingle.com


"True Love Dates is a wonderful dating/love/relationship resource for young women. I  absolutely love that it instills our self-worth and value as daughters of God and teaches us to look for His best in our potential mate while refining ourselves as true ladies, leaders and lovers in Christ. This is an absolute must-read and pivotal for any woman no matter your age or relationship history."

---Kristen Dalton, Miss USA 2009

About the Author

Debra is a Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in dating, marriage and relationship issues, along with a spectrum of mental health disorders and issues.  

Debra experienced an enrichment of her own personal life and relationships resulting from her professional education and practice, and her passion is sharing that information with young adults who are in search of true love.

In addition to speaking about love, dating, and healthy relationships to men and women across the country, she is a frequent contributor at Relevant Magazine and Crosswalk.com where she writes about love, dating, and healthy relationships.  She has also contributed to magazines and websites such as Today's Christian Woman, Converge Magazine, and many others.
Find out more by visiting her blog at truelovedates.com
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Zondervan (October 1, 2013)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0310336791
  • ISBN-13: 978-0310336792
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.6 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 3.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (183 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #37,360 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
I will be honest, I am forever the skeptic when it comes to literature on dating. As both a young(ish) single gal and someone who works with teen/college-age girls I often shudder at some of the stuff written towards those in either or both categories about dating. Typically a book will encourage folks to steer clear from dating all together and just pray about it or go all in and date everyone around them in hopes of learning oneself (and disregarding the confusion that comes with said approach). I, however, found this book rather refreshing.

I appreciate greatly Fileta's charge to really examine yourself in light of God's word first and foremost. It is so easy for us to get wrapped up in how another can fill in the holes we think are missing in our lives without even recognizing it. Fileta charges her readers to take a long hard look in the mirror, while also not being held hostage to one's past.

I also appreciate Debra's approach dating with her background in mental health. Although in different fields, I too am in the caring profession and often watch the demise of sanity happen when someone starts dating the wrong person -- or even sometimes the right person. Dating is confusing and for many of us, really sucky :) Fileta really encourages her readers to observe themselves and their behaviors in light of this, which I think is so so poignant and important.

Lastly, I appreciate the use of Debra's questions throughout the book. It's easy to read through a book such as this one and miss out on the opportunity to really reflect and allow the text to change your heart/mind, the questions that are offered help usher you in this process.
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Format: Paperback
I first came across the work of Debra Fileta while reading RELEVANT. I soon found and subscribed to her blog, as her thoughts on healthy relationships are generally spot-on. Here in the Marry Well Lodge, we've frequently discussed Fileta's articles -- most recently, her thoughts on Mistakes to Avoid in 2014. When I received an email offer of a complementary copy of her book -- "True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life" -- I was thrilled.

I approached the book with fairly high hopes, and I wasn't disappointed. In the introduction, Fileta lays out a map for where her book will take you:

"If you've picked up this book, it's likely that you're searching for true love. Your desire for marriage may be strong, even feel like a preoccupation that you can't seem to shake. You might be sick and tired of being single and alone, watching your friends get knocked off, one by one, into the world of love while you feel more and more isolated. Maybe you found someone you thought was "the one," only to have your heart broken and your hopes shattered, alone once again. In a world that seems to cater to couples and families, sitting at a table for one is the last place you want to be.

But the ironic thing about finding true love is that it must start at a table for one."

And in that statement lies perhaps the greatest strength of Fileta's book. While many Christian dating books focus on honoring God and the other person, Fileta takes time to focus on the importance of introspection and personal growth. Only after you have learned to to be a whole person can you relate properly to other people and to God Himself.

Fileta's book is divided into four sections.
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Format: Paperback
The book is broken up into four sections: Dating Inward, Dating Outward, Dating Upward, and Ask the Counselor (almost 50 pages covering 25 FAQs and Fileta's answers to them). In the first section, Fileta stresses getting to know yourself by asking, "Where do I come from?", "Who am I now?", and "Where am I going?" I think she makes some excellent points and would agree it is ideal to understand your own identity before becoming involved with someone else.

The second section begins with figuring out what you want in a relationship, looking at character traits and deciding which ones you would never want in a potential mate, which ones you would have to cautiously explore, and which ones you really desire and would even require to be present. The section then moves to the timing of a relationship, protecting your heart, and physical boundaries.

At one point, Fileta shares these thoughts: "Your story has far more to do with finding God's unique calling and purpose for your life than it does with finding the love of your life...Finding true love may be a beautiful portion of your story, but it was never intended to be the grand finale. It's too easy to work so hard on this one section of our story that in the meantime the rest of the book never gets written. God's plans never play out in our lives because we are so fixated on finding love that we don't take the time to look at where we are going." This struck a chord with me as it describes very well my own experiences with relationships before I met my wife.

The third section provides counsel on seeking after God and keeping your focus on His will for your life. By doing so, not only will you be more fulfilled in your life, you will be balanced and prepared for meeting a spouse when the time is right.
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