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True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of your Life Paperback – October 1, 2013
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"We love this book! Debra gives every single looking for love a great game plan filled with personal counsel, biblical wisdom, and practical steps. Don't wait to read it. Your love life needs this book."
--Gary Thomas, Best Selling Author of The Sacred Marriage and Sacred Search
"Hands down, the best book on dating that I've ever read! If you're single, this is a must read. Jam-packed with wise counsel, Debra becomes your personal mentor as she answers dozens of real-life dating and relationship questions. Pastors and church leaders, get this resource into the hands of your singles!"
--- Chris Reed, Pastor to 20s/30s and Singles at Saddleback Church, Lake Forest, CA
"True Love Dates is spot on! There isn't one single I know who doesn't want to be in a successful relationship. Many singles today have lost hope because they don't know what a healthy relationship looks like or have the vision and tools to get there. Debra addresses every question singles are asking (or should be asking themselves). Most importantly, Debra shows that not only does true love date, it is only possible through a relationship with God. If you're single, you need to read this book!"
---Ashley Reccord at ChristianMingle.com
"True Love Dates is a wonderful dating/love/relationship resource for young women. I absolutely love that it instills our self-worth and value as daughters of God and teaches us to look for His best in our potential mate while refining ourselves as true ladies, leaders and lovers in Christ. This is an absolute must-read and pivotal for any woman no matter your age or relationship history."
---Kristen Dalton, Miss USA 2009
About the Author
Debra is a Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in dating, marriage and relationship issues, along with a spectrum of mental health disorders and issues.
In addition to speaking about love, dating, and healthy relationships to men and women across the country, she is a frequent contributor at Relevant Magazine and Crosswalk.com where she writes about love, dating, and healthy relationships. She has also contributed to magazines and websites such as Today's Christian Woman, Converge Magazine, and many others.
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Top customer reviews
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I read this book back in October 2013 after I read one of Debra's articles on Relevant. So I've had a lot of time to sit on my decision of calling it one of the bests.
Let me introduce you to Debra; Debra is not only a Jesus lover, a loving wife and mother, she's also a professional counselor. She uses her relationship with God to fuel her passion for helping singles and couples find God's best for them. And it finally came out in a book. Debra takes the whole "dating thing" and breaks it apart into three ideas: Dating Inward, Dating Outward, and Dating Upward.
Dating Inward is the truly unique gem of Debra's book. It takes you through your past and really helps you learn about yourself. People like taking personality quizzes to learn about themselves, right? So why not read a few chapters to help you learn about yourself!
Dating Outward is the part of the book that people probably picked it up for. It's the "fun stuff", ya know, the dating part. Unfortunately, the one thing Debra can't help you with is getting a date, but she'll walk you through what healthy dating should look like and help you decide what you want in a healthy mate.
Dating Upward is the most important, of course. And it's about how to be filled by God and God alone. This is one of the most key aspects that is absent in many relationship books, and all of the secular ones. It's learning to come to the reality that weather you are dating or single, you can't be complete by yourself or with a mate, you can only be complete with God.
People want to live happy healthy lives. And if love, dating, or marriage, is on the brain so should be how to date happy and healthy! And this is the book for it.
What I love about Debra's book is that she approaches it from both a psychological perspective as well as a spiritual. As a young adult who has grown up in church culture, I either heard to "kiss dating goodbye", to "simply not have sex before marriage", and basically avoided/got into relationships with all sorts of brokenness, fears, shame, guilt, and distorted mentalities-- and I know I'm not the only young adult Christian who has gone through that.
Debra, however dissects all the confusion and lays it all out clearly and simply by explaining WHY dating/sex/marriage under God's wisdom can lead to a beautiful and healthy dating life towards marriage. She writes compassionately without overly spiritualizing it or getting legalistic about it, while including many relateable, real-life examples from her patients that show how both wrong--and sometimes even right looking relationships, can sometimes still not be the right, God-intended relationship for us.
There are many factors that come into play when we consider dating, and Debra does a great job of challenging readers to first examine themselves and their purpose behind dating towards marriage for God, while single OR in relationship. She goes in depth of how who we choose should lead towards a healthy and passionate marriage, in both physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual connection, as well as interdependence.
A lot of it actually isn't rocket science, but when in the midst of deep seated emotions, highs, and certain misconstrued mentalities, I believe it's easy to keep approaching relationships in all the wrong ways that end up hurting ourselves and others in the long run, further obscuring us from God's original great plans for us.
One last aspect I love about True Love Dates, is that it does a great job in explaining that there is NOTHING wrong in desiring a relationship with someone! Instead, Debra challenges readers to ask ourselves if we desiring it with the right posture for Jesus? and how can we be involved with our communities+personal growth to avoid simply dating out of "loneliness"?
True Love Dates tackles many of these hard questions that I personally feel the church does not often go in depth enough. The book holds much wisdom and value that can save many lives. I'd def. recommend this book and her blog to everyone, Christian or not!
The concepts of the book can apply to ANY human relationship: family, friends and definitely 'dating'/marriage. The author doesn't provide a formula to implement for the 'perfect dating relationship leading to the perfect marriage'. Rather, Fileta reinforces healthy emotional, spiritual and social principles that will encourage and challenge readers of all ages and life stages!
Definitely a must-read for older teens, college/young adults and 'singles' - but also an excellent read for pastors, youth leaders, mentors, parents and grandparents.
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