Top critical review
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I want to love it, but I just can't....
on June 25, 2018
First let me say I am reading this book as a never married Christian lady near 40. I also want to explain that I am a person who grew up in church faithfully and was in Christian school from pre-school to completion of my masters degree. This book has some elements that are very different from the typical Christian dating book but then some of the same old, same old that comes up in every other book.
The good...the author does a wonderful job of telling the reader that you can't depend on a spouse to make your life complete or happy. So many Christian books either imply or actually go out and say happiness comes from a Christian family. I applaud the author for not going into that trap! As a person in the field of Psychology (well formerly) I must say she also does a great job describing codependency/trust issues. That is a huge hang up in many relationships and the author does do a good job of addressing it.
The bad.... to me the author tells way too many stories of her own fairytale like relationship. God works in ways in which I don't understand. There will be readers who either read this bawling or readers who will mistakenly assume follow this plan and this is what will happen. I have done above and beyond on what a Christian person should do to attract a Godly spouse and so far, no fairytale. The author also uses a lot of client experiences as sorta negatives. Not something that you should see from a counselor.
I also found the author's use of the word loved, especially in a Christian context, pretty rough. I also felt like the author joined the ranks of most other Christian dating books in painting a "Godly guy/gal" with an almost fairytale brush. Sure, some folks find a spouse that perfectly fits the description. But I personally know so many folks who thought they were marrying a "Godly guy/gal" only to find themselves (or children) in an abusive marriage. The author used a story where this guy is at a Bible conference event and fell in love at first sight with this godly girl. You may be instantly attracted to someone and but you can not love someone at first sight. Love is a choice and love requires knowing a person. This fellow may have felt attraction to this lady but he did not fall in love with her at first sight. I felt that too much emphasis was on seeing these folks at Christian events and these folks being religious. Living for Christ doesn't always mean saying the churchy things at the Christian events. I felt this may leave readers assuming finding what looks like a "Godly guy/girl" at a Christian event means they will make a great Christian spouse. There are guys in frat houses that would never treat women as bad or be as promiscuous as some men in the ministry do/are.
I like this book in that it doesn't focus on marriage completing a person. But, I feel like this author used the book as to tell her lovely story as a "this is how God works" narrative. I also feel that like so many other Christian books this pushes daters into being extremely naive about folks that do churchy type things.