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Two Is Enough: A Couple's Guide to Living Childless by Choice Paperback – September 22, 2009

4.4 out of 5 stars 45 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Laura S. Scott was in her sixteenth year of a voluntarily childless marriage and living in the suburbs of a small city in Virginia when she first got the idea to start the Childless by Choice Project. At the time, she was writing screenplays and marketing her first feature script, a first place winner in the Virginia Film Office's Governor's Screenwriting Competition. A former fashion and publishing entrepreneur, she had also worked as a freelance nonfiction writer/editor, personal productivity coach, and a volunteer for youth. Scott also founded and leads the Blue Ridge Association of Dramatists and Screenwriters (BRADS), a regional group of scriptwriters and filmmakers.

Fueled by curiosity and introspection, Scott traveled to ten American states and two Canadian provinces to survey the childless by choice and do video and audio interviews in order to determine why, for millions of North American couples, the question "When should we have kids?" has morphed into "Should we have kids?" She has since been interviewed and consulted on this topic by university scholars, writers, and producers for national magazines, regional newspapers and news organizations, including NBC News, the San Francisco Chronicle, CBC Radio, and The Roanoke Times.

Her Childless by Choice Project website (www.childlessbychoiceproject.com) serves as a reference and marketing tool for journalists, project participants, researchers, and the general public. A proposed Childless by Choice film project is in the development and early production stage, and is fiscally sponsored by The Southern Documentary Fund (www.southerndocumentaryfund.org). Scott lives in Roanoke, Virginia.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 264 pages
  • Publisher: Seal Press (September 22, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1580052630
  • ISBN-13: 978-1580052634
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.7 x 8.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (45 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #672,370 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By Reviewer Dr. Beth #1 HALL OF FAMETOP 50 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on September 29, 2009
Format: Paperback
This book stemmed out of author Laura Scott's Childless by Choice Project, a research project comprised of several different components. In the Introduction, Scott, herself a woman who choose to marry and yet remain childless (or childfree--she uses these two terms interchangeably) by choice, notes that she wondered whether she was alone in her decision, and if not, how others arrived at the same choice that she made. She further explains that she had two main goals when starting her research project: 1) to determine what people identified as their most compelling motives for remaining childfree, and 2) to better understand the decision-making process which led to someone identifying themselves as childless by choice. Based on these goals, Scott designed a questionnaire which would yield the data she sought; she then recruited a total of 171 childless by choice individuals to respond to her survey. Finally, Scott supplemented her survey results with an additional series of 28 in-depth interviews she conducted with various childfree couples.

The chapters which follow present the main findings of Scott's research. There is information on "Who Are the Childless by Choice?," the decision-making process that occurs along the path to becoming childless, and the a list of the resulting "Eighteen Reasons (and More) Why We Don't Have Kids." The latter chapter may surprise some who believe that childfree individuals are "selfish" or "must hate kids"--comments that participants in Scott's interviews had been subjected to in the face of their decisions to remain childless. As it turns out, however, the highest-rated motive statement in Scott's research was "I love our life, our relationship, as it is, and having a child won't enhance it.
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I may be the oddest reviewer of this book as I do have a child and it was by choice . . . but.

For quite some time I wasn't sure I wanted to have children and then when I decided I did want children wasn't sure that it would be possible. So we made the decision to stop trying and to be child free, simply to be super aunt and uncle to our siblings children.

We ran into so many of the prejudices and odd looks from people who always said the same thing "but you'd be such great parents!" And that is when I began reading the literature around a child free by choice life.

This book is the work of Laura Scott and her Child Free by Choice Project. The interviews included in the book are powerful, insightful and clearly demonstrate the process most people go through making this choice. I really think after reading this book that many more people would likely make the decision to be child free if they knew they weren't alone in how they feel.

The book does an exceptional job of outlining the reasons and rationale many childless by choice couples used to come to their decision. It was comforting to read and find that the thoughts I had were very similar to many other people. This work removes so many of the stigmas around not having children for those who choose not to.

For me, the choice to have children was the best one ultimately and when my daughter came along, I couldn't be happier. But this book did a wonderful job of helping me better relate with the feelings I had when I was choosing not to take heroic efforts to have children or to adopt and it has really given me great insights into the feelings and beliefs of those I know who have remained childless by choice. I know I'll be able to relate better and be a more engaged friend from reading this book.
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I am childfree by choice and love it. I do not refer to it as "child-less" because less makes it sound like I am missing something, and believe me I am most certainly not missing anything. This is an excellent book, that is only a small step in the direction of shutting up society about the stereotypes of why individuals get married. A large percent of society needs to read this book, and reprogram their way of thinking. I get asked countless times "when are you having kids" or the "oh, keep trying it will happen, or why not adopt". How absurd. I married, like many other childfree persons, married because I love my spouse. I love spending time together, we have a passion for the same hobbies, the same interests, and share the same beliefs. Extended families, jobs, and pets complete our lives.
This is an excellent written book, and covers the topic incredibly.
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I'd love to give it a 4.5 stars, but I'll round it down to 4 as its mostly a good introduction and defining of the subject and the general possiblities for the choice. Just to be clear this is about about the choice not to have children not the difficulty or inablity, though it does address some couples who try to, fail to, and ultimately choose not to have children.

Personally, I've struggled with my choice of not having children. I was always told that one day I'd change my mind about having kids, when I was older and fell it love. I was also told it was a phase- that happened to last over 7 years- and I would joyously one day find myself with child. I did fall in love and still was 92% sure I didn't want kids. I have picked out names and the like and considered what it might be like, but generally those thoughts last no longer than a week or two a year and then I go back to being very uncomfortable with the idea. This book brought to light a lot of things I've thought and felt over the years. It even bought up the subject of changing one's mind about having children if a couple decides to. It also gave a lot of healthy suggestions about talking with your partner about the subject of children, and bringing it back up every few years to make sure you're always on the same page.

Reading this book on a break in one of my college classes brought up the discussion which lead to a story that horrified me, and I later had a personal experiance on. Women who agree to be childless with their partner, and later change their mind and 'accidently' get pregnant. What a horribly underhanded thing to do! And yet it's considered entirely acceptable in our society. This does even briefly bring up the subject of what to do if your partner changes their mind, and you don't.
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