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The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge Paperback – March 13, 2012
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A Roll in the Hay
"I can't recommend this enough."
"It's essential reading. Each chapter focuses on a different kink, and each is written by a different expert in that field. It is an excellent tome for introducing someone to kink and for deepening your own interests (if by chance you are into that kind of thing). Contributors include Patrick Califia, Midori, Laura Antoniou, Barbara Carrellas, Lee Harrington, Jack Rinella, Lolita Wolf, Madison Young, Hardy Haberman, Felice Shays, Ignacio Rivera, Sarah Sloane, Mollena Williams, Fifth Angel, and Edge, writing about spanking, bondage, fisting, rough sex, domination, submission, masochism, sadism, tantra, and role play, among others. This is a rock star sex educator lineup which includes just about everything you'd need to know to pique your interest, juice up your Fetlife profile, and get yourself out into the world of leather, BDSM, and kink. It's not a substitute for hands-on learning, classes for which are abundant in most major cities, but it will get you started and deepen your understanding of any of these topicsbe they brand new to you or something you'd like to deepen. Tristan Taormino, as usual, gathered the definitive words on the most common kink skills and philosophies, and this book is essential reading for kinky and queer sexual adventures."
Lambda Literary Summer 2012 Cliterotica Review
"It will educate, inspire, and challenge both newcomers to the world of kink and experienced BDSM players."
Erotica Readers and Writers Association
"Enter The Ultimate Guide to Kink. This opens that door for people to embark on that journey of knowledge and understanding, through unique and honest insight from people really in the know. I actually think that’s one of the books greatest appeals; rather than this just being a general guide describing various forms and subtypes of kink, it really takes you into the world of each topic. And, I believe, this has been achieved so very well because Tristan Taormino has sought out some of the most experienced and knowledgeable people for each topic, to talk about their special areas of interest and expertise (I have included a complete list of contributors and the chapters they wrote at the end of this review), giving the reader the feeling that they really are getting a genuine and authentic insiders view."
"In this collection Taormino smoothly manages the difficult task of creating a book that can speak to a wide range of audiences. The Ultimate Guide to Kink provides what I imagine is an approachable and welcoming introduction to many aspects of BDSM play that I wish I’d had available to me when I jumped into BDSM a decade ago. From Felice Shay’s chapter on Playing with Rough Sex” to edgier and taboo role play like Digging in the Dirt: The Lure of Taboo Role Play” by Mollena Williams, the book truly has something for folks of all experience levels, from a beginner who’s curious about exploring to more experienced readers interested in being challenged by discussion of kink community/culture, edge play and consensually pushing our limits. The Ultimate Guide to Kink is a landmark collection destined to be a touchstone classic to recommend to anyone interested in BDSM exploration."
"An informed and informative 475-page compendium focusing upon diverse verse varieties of unconventional human sexuality, The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge by Tristan Taormino provides 'user friendly' techniques and creative ideas for bondage, spanking, flogging, sensation play, rough sex, and incorporating alternative sexual activities into one's sex life. Of special note is the information presented on sexual role-play fantasy. Clearly for an adult readership only, The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge is highly recommended and instructive reading for men and women seeking to expand their experiences with respect to their sexuality."
Midwest Book Review
"This book is exactly what you need if you have ever had questions about kink. This book is such a nice introduction into kink, and it is also an instructional guide if you are not sure where to begin."
Kissin Blue Karen
"If you have ever wondered about kink then you need to pick up this book. This book will answer all of you questions. If you are curious about kink or an old hand at it this is a book you need to add to your collection. There are chapters on role-playing, dominance, submission, and much much more. If you are new to kink this book explains the different types of things you can try as well as a having a safeword. There is a chapter that shows you how to do bondage using ropes or scarves. There are tips and techniques. They even talk about aftercare at the end of the chapters. This is the complete deal."
Night Owl Reviews
So many of the people who write me at Savage Love’ are curious about kink some days it accounts for half the mail but they don’t know where to start. I’m going to be recommending this collection of essays. This is more than just a guide to kink, it’s more than a sex manual. Editor Tristan Taormino has brought the players, thinkers, and rock stars of the kink scene and together they have created a book that not only lets people know where to start, but why to start, and what they’ll get out of it. Vanillas, novices, old hands, old guard everyone can learn from this collection.”
"Tristan Taormino has gifted us with a magnificent collection of essays from kinkdom's finest educators: consider it required reading for every kinkster who lives life on the hot side."Dossie Easton, co-author of The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book
"Tristan Taormino has created a perfect compendium of kink that covers the nuts and bolts (with illustrations!) of spanking, bondage, role-playing, rough sex and much more, as well as the philosophies, motivations and deeply personal experiences of an array of BDSM players. If "Brutal Affection" sounds like an oxymoron to you, read on. Keep a copy in your bedroomand your toy bag!"
Rachel Kramer Bussel, Editor, Spanked and Best Sex Writing 2012
"Finally, a smart, comprehensive, and brave book on kinky sex for this generation. Tristan Taormino's Ultimate Guide to Kink is the first really good new book on the subject in years. BDSM and kink aficionados are lifelong learners, endlessly fascinated with their own sexual and personal growth. They do love their sex guides! I expect this to be the BDSM bible for the next decade." Felice Newman, author of The Whole Lesbian Sex Book
From the Back Cover
"This is more than just a guide to kink, it's more than a sex manual. Editor Tristan Taormino has brought the players, thinkers and rock stars of the kink scene and together they have created a book that not only lets people know where to start, but why to start, and what they'll get out of it. Vanillas, novices, old hands, old guardeveryone can learn from this collection." Dan Savage
Award-winning author, filmmaker and sex educator Tristan Taormino presents this bold and sexy treasury that runs the gamut from expert tutorials on kinky erotic practices to thought-provoking essays that delve into complex questions about desire, power and pleasure. The Ultimate Guide to Kink features the expertise of renowned educators writing passionately on their favorite subjects, including Patrick Califia, Midori, Laura Antoniou, Barbara Carrellas, Lee Harrington, Jack Rinella, Lolita Wolf, Madison Young, Hardy Haberman, Felice Shays, Ignacio Rivera, Sarah Sloane, Mollena Williams, FifthAngel and Edge. This comprehensive volume includes:
techniques and creative ideas for bondage, spanking, flogging, sensation play, rough sex and more, illustrated by Katie Diamond
lessons on how to eroticize power, cultivate deeper connections and incorporate kink into your sex life
role-playing fantasies from the popular to the taboo
provocative and personal manifestos on dominance, submission, sadism and masochism
Top customer reviews
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But then it moves onto essays on animal roleplay, or age play, or Mollena Williams' piece on edge play that includes scenes of rape, incest, gay-bashing, and a bit where a handicapped person gets thrown out of their wheelchair and beaten, and I go "oh thank god I didn't lend this to anyone yet." Don't get me wrong - these essays are brilliantly written, informative, and interesting, and definitely worth reading, but they are probably not necessary or useful in a book that *seems* to be aimed at beginners.
So, in short, even though it seems (to me) like a book for newbies, I would NOT recommend it for beginners or novices unless they're unflappable or you're trying to scare the pants off them, or they're reading it in conjunction with many other books on the subject.
While I didn't recognize all of the names in the list of authors, I recognized enough for it to read like a Who's Who of the BDSM education circuit, all grouped together in one convenient tome to tell you all about the areas about which they're most passionate. While the voices differ (understandably) they are all thoughtful, insightful, passionate, well-written, well-edited and arranged with a flow that makes you want to read the whole thing in one sitting, cover-to-cover. And sexy! This book is put together in such a way that even for the things that might not be "my kink" I couldn't help but feel the erotic charge that was brought to the table by those who love it. This is one seriously hawt book.
The book is definitely more geared toward letting their voices of its contributors shine than on bombarding you with pretty pictures and illustrations (which suits me just fine,) but there are enough diagrams in certain sections, particularly bondage and fisting, that if you choose to pick up the ebook copy instead of the paper one I suggest you install it on a computer or larger tablet as well. I found the labelling on the diagrams illegible on my 6" kindle screen.
The book also does an excellent job of reminding us about what's important about all that kinky stuff that we so love: we do it because we love it, and it only works when everyone involved is getting something (positive) out of it. Consent, negotiation, and safer sex practices are critical, and I'm grateful that all the contributors to this book can't stress that fact enough. Bah, I can just hear some of you muttering, that stuff's for sissy amateurs, real kinksters can't be bothered with those things! To those hypothetical detractors I say: Take another look at the list of contributors to this book, really look at that list of names, and I double-dog-dare you to tell me that that list of kinky superstarts aren't "real" knksters. Go on. I triple-dog dare you.
My rating: 5/5 caged and red-cheeked puppy-boys.
Wish this book had mentioned it more clearly it was the ultimate guide of femme dom kinking. Can't relate!
Only positive was sometimes it would be neutral and it was an informative book. Personally, it's distracting and I can't put myself in the shoes they imagine for their examples so I had to stop.
Edit: To elaborate, the authors mostly only give you items and a select few methods to incorporate into your BDSM. There is some explanation on how to be...a female dominant and a male submissive and while that's fine and dandy, not everyone can fit into that role. There's a difference between a female Dom and male dom, a female sub and male sub. Men and women are different but to me it seemed like they assumed, by explaining how to be a female Dom, we can switch the pronouns ourselves.
In any case, this guide wasn't very helpful for newbies trying to get into the practice. It's good for learning new methods and how to do certain techniques, but not exactly how to get into the mindset of the sub or dom you want to be. Sadly, this book wasn't what I needed. Not entirely anyway which is why this rated 2 stars and not 1.
Most recent customer reviews
This is more than 11 hours of listening time. It tends to repeat abit. It seems to have something on just about everything.Read more