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Unconditional Bliss: Finding Happiness in the Face of Hardship Paperback – January 1, 2000
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- Print length206 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherNew Age Books
- Publication dateJanuary 1, 2000
- ISBN-10817822013X
- ISBN-13978-8178220130
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Product details
- Publisher : New Age Books (January 1, 2000)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 206 pages
- ISBN-10 : 817822013X
- ISBN-13 : 978-8178220130
- Item Weight : 6.2 ounces
- Best Sellers Rank: #3,149,696 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #70,347 in Psychology & Counseling
- #298,162 in Self-Help (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the authors

Discover more of the author’s books, see similar authors, read book recommendations and more.

Raphael Cushnir is a leading voice in the world of emotional connection and present moment awareness. He has shared his unique approach to personal and professional development with millions of readers in O, The Oprah Magazine, Beliefnet, Spirituality and Health, Psychology Today, and The Huffington Post. He is the author of five books, lectures worldwide, and is a faculty member of the Esalen Institute, and the Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health. In addition, he coaches individuals and teams at Fortune 100 companies, governments, religious organizations, and leading non-profits.
Cushnir's first book, Unconditional Bliss: Finding Happiness in the Face of Hardship (Quest), was nominated for the year 2000 Books for a Better Life Award. It introduced a simple yet profound process called Living the Questions. You can learn more about the book and the process here.
Cushnir's second book, Setting Your Heart on Fire: Seven Invitations to Liberate Your Life (Broadway Books/Random House), was published in 2003 and is currently used as a major teaching text at spiritual centers around the U.S.. The book's Seven Invitations comprise an invigorating, step-by-step process for reopening and reawakening even the most wounded of hearts. You can learn more the book and the invitations here.
In 2005, Chronicle Books released How Now: 100 Ways to Celebrate the Present Moment. This gift book, with 20 full-color photographs and a highly accessible version of his core principles, quickly became Cushnir's bestseller. A companion card deck soon followed. How Now was chosen as one of the Best Spiritual Books of 2005 by Spirituality and Health Magazine. You can learn more about the book and deck here.
In January 2009, HarperOne published Cushnir's book, The One Thing Holding You Back: Unleashing the Power of Emotional Connection. This project brings together all of Cushnir's insights, principles, and practices regarding the realm of emotion and it's key role in every form of well being and success. It introduces the "2 X 2 Process" and its encapsulation as "emotional surfing." You can learn more about the book and emotional surfing here.
In July, 2009, Chronicle Books published Cushnir's latest book, Surfing Your Inner Sea: Essential Lessons for Lasting Serenity. (Note from author: If you wanted the best book with which to start exploring my work - it's this one!)
On July 15, 2021, Cushnir releases his long-awaited memoir, Surviving the Divine, A Memoir of Rude Awakening. Here is a brief description: From the Introduction . . .
' “This book is about what happened when a spontaneous, cataclysmic, cosmic force swept through me. The experience was nothing at all like familiar stories of divine revelation. It was almost impossible to endure. It was also a deliverance of grace that I never wanted to end. It hasn’t. Going on twenty-five years.”
So begins Raphael Cushnir’s story of his rocky and mysterious spiritual transformation. He’s revealing it now in communion with others who have struggled with unconventional awakenings, and also as a fresh glimpse—complex, grounded, and nuanced—into the perennial mystic path.'
Cushnir grew up in Northridge, a San Fernando Valley suburb. He entered college at the age of sixteen, attending the College of Creative Studies at the University of California, Santa Barbara, followed by Reed College and UCLA, where he graduated at the age of nineteen. After working his way through school as a teacher and a storyteller, Cushnir redirected his energies as an activist for the environment and human rights. He devised innovative media campaigns that included such celebrities as Madonna, Pearl Jam, Demi Moore, and Michael J. Fox.
His passion for filmmaking led to a decade-long stint in Hollywood. He wrote, directed, and produced a Showtime movie, Sexual Healing, starring Helen Hunt, Anthony Edwards, and Jason Alexander. The film was nominated for two Cable Ace awards and won Grand Prize at the Houston Film Festival. Designed by Cushnir as a not-for-profit venture, it raised over $30,000 for the Minority AIDS Project.
Cushnir has also written scripts for the Geffen Company, Warner Brothers, and Columbia Pictures. In addition, his articles have appeared in Mother Jones and LA Weekly, and his children's book, The Secret Spinner, was published in 1985. With the advent of multimedia, Cushnir co-designed the $5 million techno-spiritual odyssey, Obsidian, which Gamezilla magazine called "the very best game in any genre."
In 1996, both his career and his marriage fell apart. "It was a classic dark night of the soul," he remembers. "Many people experience something similar in their own lives. The particulars are always different but the essential experience is the same - a deep, depressing, gut-wrenching pain. In my case, everything I thought I knew about life went completely out the window."
Then, luckily, one of Cushnir's mentors convinced him to embrace the pain instead of turn away from it. He suggested that, in fact, this was a perfect opportunity to "wake up."
Cushnir took his mentor's advice and ran with it. Over a decade later he's waking up still, one moment at a time. Helping others do the same has become his new life mission.
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Highly recommend.
The author reveals that it is possible to experience bliss in one's everyday life even in the midst of grief and hardship. He knows, as he has done so and continues to do so. Experiencing this bliss does not change the conditions of one's life, however. It doesn't help you to become abundant, get a job or otherwise achieve success.
The secret to achieving bliss has to do with becoming aware of whether we're contracting or expanding. When we experience something we don't like, we automatically resist the experience and thus contract our bodies. What we need to do is learn to accept: we go into our feelings, accept them all, no matter what, whereafter expansion will occur. If we continue to work with this process, we will eventually experience bliss.
Cushnir states - "all that is needed is to bring our resistance into awareness".
He presents us with a simple process: we ask the questions "What is happening right now?" followed by "Can I be with it?" If we answer yes to the second question, we "unclench", thus allowing the resistance to dissipate and the contraction to release.
We are given examples of how various persons tackled their various problems by using the process. We read how these people answer the questions they pose, and follow them in their process.
I have learnt much from this book. I have throughout my life repressed my negative emotions, not realizing that I had any such emotions. But these emotions have come to light when I have followed Cushnir's process. I am grateful to him for revealing this valuable process. I have not experienced bliss, but then the work with the process will take time, especially for one such as me, who has suppressed her emotions.
Even without the prospect of achieving bliss, the mere fact that I have been able to uncover, and subsequently release, negative emotions I never realized I had, reveals this to be an extremely valuable process.
It is a matter of "living the questions", as the author terms it, thus being in the moment and achieving acceptance. "Bliss is the result, but never the goal."
I highly recommend that you read this book if you want to discover and release your negative emotions. You may even eventually achieve bliss!If this author proves to have written any other books, I will be sure to read them.
I've been interested in seeking non-dualistic bliss, especially as emphasized in (Tibetan/Mahayana) Buddhism, but have found it discouraging how inaccessible traditional spiritual traditions can be. They are based on a foundation that takes an incredible amount of dedication and time that our current modern world simply does not allow when we have jobs, children, bills, etc. Cushnir's book is incredibly accessible, but perhaps in making it available to the lay person, it's definitely brief. He discusses acceptance and awareness, but for someone who has no practice with this, they won't know how to achieve them. That's where other books would come into play, basically anything mainstream Buddhism - just look around.
One aspect that I felt that the book lacks is how to apply happiness and bliss to the moments in between our inquiry. Much of our lifestyles are in fact detrimental to our well-being - for example, rising cost of living, working so many hours, filling our free time with mass entertainment (instead of time for reflection and connection), social isolation/deprivation, and losing touch with a sense of community. The harder our society pushes our children, the more fractured of a culture we become and the bigger the voids that get passed onto our future generations because we simply haven't the time to teach our children. Yes, our minds cause much of the trouble, but neither young children nor many nomadic indigenous cultures experience the suffering we do, and they have a much easier access to bliss. A lot of our suffering is social conditioning or psychological deprivation (ie missing pieces to our self-esteem).
If you, like I, have had troubles with life getting out of control only to wake up one day not recognizing who you are or what's happened to your life, I would strongly recommend considering work on your self-esteem and self-responsibility. Some good books on this include Nathaniel Branden's Six Pillars of Self Esteem and Taking Responsibility. Other books I'd recommend include Joseph Murphy's The Power of Your Subconscious Mind, and other books discussing the power of belief/faith. I've learned that overcoming our suffering has much to do with having the confidence that you will overcome it. The right kind of confidence is one not based upon life experiences but one based on the genuine belief that when we truly want something, we do what we have to do to make it happen, through a naturally increased creativity and determination. Perhaps there's a certain arrogant element to that kind of confidence, but sometimes we have to believe that our lives, our reality, is something we alone can make how we want. Why not live your dreams and potential? Why waste years of your life in suffering and victimhood? Another book worth reading is Brian Tracy's Goals. Being able to handle life's struggles becomes much easier when we feel capable and empowered to do so, rather than always feeling helpless. No amount of bliss will fix our underlying problems - only responsibility and achievement can, to at least eliminate the volatile and harmful elements from our life and maximize the positive elements in our life. Sometimes that means a change in environment. Again, a lot in our modern society is harmful and many environments, with no nature, no meaningful community, etc have no adequate positive resources outside of strip malls, and 300 channel cable tv lineups.
In busy lives where we need to function, how can we best make use of it so we can express that bliss? I've found that once you achieve a non-dualistic joy, depending on how hectic or 'undesirable' your life can be, it all can be short-lived unless we find OUTLETS to express it in our lives. I've lived in the deep rural country for 7 years and find the isolation difficult to accept, coupled with a divorce and single parenting of 3 kids plus a 90 mile round trip commute to a job every day, it's all a bit 'undesirable' to say the least and so any positive feeling is going to be short lived. With that said, I don't disagree that bliss can be lasting, just that it depends upon how much crap is still dealt with in life. There's a difference between facing grief with bliss or facing a turning point in life with bliss, and facing life that has become a resentful self-deprecating and lonely hell over many years. One thing that I would like to have been said more is that when life really sucks, sometimes responsibility and action are more important than feeling blissful - and sometimes trying too hard to feel blissful can actually turn against you and make you feel miserable, given that life is full of REGULAR and ONGOING undesirable things. A lot of the goodness about the spiritual path really only ought to be experienced when life feels stable and settled, in a nurturing and resourceful environment (instead of a strenuous and detrimental environment).
One book I would recommend to explore how to live life when you've been stuck in that bubble of fear for so long that you've lost all ambition and creativity - is "Witness the Magic: Become Like a Child Again" by Renee Guenette. Happiness is more than just stillness, especially when life is volatile - you need to also live it in every thing you do, change your habits, become playful, adventurous, curious, etc. If you've gotten to a point of depression/unhappiness that you find yourself sitting isolated indoors, preferring entertainment or the social web over going out into the world and actually connecting with people, then it's not recommended that you rely on a purely mental process to find that happiness - it needs to be lived through how you experience life in the world, and especially how you experience relationships, if you've happened to gotten used to being socially isolated like I have.
All in all, it's a great book, a great starting point. Yet living with genuine indestructible bliss is a long journey, full of hard work and filling in the gaps that we've lost connection with, whether from crippling self-defeating habits or social conditioning or missing instructions from lackings in our upbringings, etc.






