Understanding Other People: The Five Secrets to Human Behavior 2nd Edition
Use the Amazon App to scan ISBNs and compare prices.
"Devoted" by Dean Koontz
For the first time in paperback, from Dean Koontz, the master of suspense, comes an epic thriller about a terrifying killer and the singular compassion it will take to defeat him. | Learn more
Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number.
Frequently bought together
Customers who viewed this item also viewed
From the Author
From the Inside Flap
- Item Weight : 6.7 ounces
- Paperback : 104 pages
- ISBN-13 : 978-0615272290
- Product dimensions : 6 x 0.24 x 9 inches
- Publisher : ATA Press; 2nd edition (April 13, 2009)
- Language: : English
- Best Sellers Rank: #927,543 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
Top reviews from the United States
There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later.
1. Secret Number One: It's All About Me
In this section, the author discusses how people view experiences through their own lens and filters. Thus, the same "facts" mean different things to different people. Others can take advantage of your filters and use them to manipulate you. This section could benefit from covering the different types of filters others use and how to deal with them to communicate more effectively.
2. Secret Number Two: Behavioral Styles Come Between Us
In this section, the author discusses the DISC behavioral tool.
D: Dominance: High scores indicate assertive, aggressive stance toward problems. Results oriented.
I: Influencing: High scores indicate a people orientation. People oriented.
S: Steadiness: High scores indicate desire for stabiliity. Process oriented.
C: Compliance: High scores tend to follow rules. Rule oriented.
The author does a good job in dealing with others with DISC scores different from yours.
3. Secret Number Three: Your Values Speak Louder Than You Do
Utilitarian values: Driven by return on investment. Common in senior management.
Individualistic values: Driven by ego. Common in entertainment (?).
Theoretical values: Driven by learning. Common in professors.
Social values: Driven by others. Common in charity work.
Aesthetic values: Driven by beauty. Common in fashion and art.
Traditional values: Driven by following rules. Common in religion.
This section could benefit from techniques to identify other people's values and relating to them.
4. Secret Number Four: Don't Assume I Know What You Mean
When others ask you to do something, ask them what they mean by success. Without understanding their frame, they can use your own information to attack you. Consultative selling: Asking questions rather than stating benefits. This section could benefit from covering how to ask good questions to identify the needs and expectations of others.
5. Secret Number Five: I'm Okay: You Are Most Definitely Not Okay.
We seek others like ourselves. Understand that you can not change anyone else, but you can change your own reaction to them. This section could benefit from covering how to reframe your message in a way the other person can understand. For example, discussing ideas with others, if your ideas could prevent bodily harm to yourself in others.
Overall, the book could benefit from more examples.
Recommended for those who wish to work more effectively with others.
Slightly amateurish production, akin to a self-published book...
Due to its size, and because it deals with such complex topics as personality types and human behavior, you can expect it to be rather simplistic and superficial.
Also, I didnt particularly enjoy the main message spread throughout the book, that the best approach to "get along" with other people is to just to "drop it", in other words, give up trying to change other people's minds and dont try to
convince them of your point of view.
The book simply assumes that people will NEVER change their point of view so you should be the one to make the
effort and "bend over". Come on...
This is very lame advice IMO, and essentially dismisses all the literature about persuasion and argumentation,
and throws in the garbage 2600 years of rhetoric tradition since the ancient Greeks.
The book is useful in pointing out how to recognize the origin of conflicts, but dont offer very useful solutions other
than to advice that you are the one supposed to carry the burden of adopting the other people point of view. In other
words, the book implicitly suggests that you can only win by losing.
Granted, the title of the book is about "understanding other people" and not about how to change their minds
or even how to use that to your advantage (although she brushes on that occasionally). Apparently the only
"advantage" mentioned is that such understanting gives you more options on how to react, but she nevers
details or even mentions what those options might be, what strategies might be involved,
neither the consequences of pursuing each one.
Therefore, IMO it is rather disappointing and frustrating that the book does not go any
further and stops short at that, apparently letting the reader to decide what to do with such knowledge.
It doesnt take a genius to realize that giving half-way through guidance can be as harmful as not guidance at all.
In essence, the book teaches us only to assess a certain situation but not how to deal or respond to it.
The only advice is to "suck it up" and try to see the world through the other people's lenses, which is good advice
I must say, but stops short at that.
On the poisitive side, even though the book doesnt have a bibliography section , it instigated me to investigate
the literature on DISC behavior types.
Overall, a very short and simplistic, even disappointing book that could have been so much better (more comprehensive and useful).
With that said, IMO any rating that goes from 2 to 3 stars is fair enough.
Beverly Flaxington outlines 5 secrets to understanding other people – and ourselves – and how to effectively communicate in our personal and professional lives. This is a great introductory, or refresher book. . .there are no new concepts within these pages, but a valuable book to read nonetheless.
There’s an overuse of adverbs, which can make reading difficult at times, but hopefully that can be overlook because the message is important. Overall, I enjoyed this short read, and the reminder to why communicating, and how to communicate, effectively is so important.
Top reviews from other countries
The author has been teaching this material at undergraduate and graduate level for some time, and from personal experience, I know how the same lesson can be taught in far less time after a few repetitions - the lesson evolves over time as the teacher discovers more effective teaching strategies. Because of this, I understand how the author has used her experience to produce a concise book, loaded with relevant examples, and in this case she is using her acquired skill to make the book an easy but highly informative read.
It highlights the ways people differ, examining the different values we have, and the different ways we behave. It also looks at the different filters we have (any two people will give different accounts of identical experiences); the author goes further, explaining the importance of clear communication to bypass the various filters of our hearers.
Regarding behaviour and values, four types of personality are identified, DISC rather than Myers-Briggs, offering levels along the scales of task oriented assertiveness, social orientation, ability to handle steady pace, and compliance. Additionally, the six core values identified are presented as orientation towards different aspects of life. For example, some people might see money as the all-important ingredient of their lives, while other people will be more socially orientated - we will each prioritize the six presented values in a different order. Given this information, there is a danger that we will try to `categorise' people, but so long as we are aware that people will assume different qualities to different degrees in different contexts, these tools can be immensely helpful.
The big message is that we should withhold judgment, and we should be aware that our own experience is unique to us. This means that it is unlikely that any other individual will completely share our views on any single issue. If we possess an understanding of some of the filters that others may use when they hear our words, our increased awareness will greatly assist our communication. This message is, of course, not new, being cited regularly by authorities in NLP and Myers-Briggs, but the way in which the types of differences are described is second to none. As other reviewers have pointed out, the attention to subtlety and detail might not be to everyone's taste, but the content is dense and anybody interested in people skills will get a lot out of it.
I felt that I got my money's worth!
I hope I'm not being unfair bit I felt the author meandered over the subjects repeatedly without offering any opinion or answer.
It is written and structured poorly.
If I could I wish I din't but it!
The Five Secrets to Human Behavior
1. It's All About Me
2. Behavioral Styles Come Between Us
3. Values Speak Louder
4. Don't Assume I know What You Mean
5. I'm Okay; You Are Most Definitely NOT Okay
High D, High I, High S, High Cという4つに人を分類して説明したり、自分のステージから一度降りて眺めてみることを勧めたり、比喩や英語らしい巧みな言い回しで、簡潔ながら説得力のある文章で構成されています。