Having once been young, I all too well remember that young people always think themselves wise enough for any endeavor; now, with age, I know it's the same confidence of old drunks who think they are still sober.
So it is with this book, a tut-tut-tutting account of youth who embrace sex as the jalapeno of life before learning that it is a spice and not a main course. It's similar to the fate of youth and cars, or youth and alcohol, or youth and guns. Inevitably some overindulge and hurt themselves. Tell me about a time when it wasn't so.
Given the choice of youthful angst with or without sex, many young people have decided sex is merely a sensuous bodily pleasure. The lack of love, commitment and romance is shocking to some, but by the time they marry they've been hurt often enough to finally make a reasonably wise choice. The same is true for alcohol; most learn, after a few hangovers, that moderation is a much longer lasting pleasure.
The proof is evident in the divorce rates. Figures compiled by Steven Martin of the University of Maryland indicate about 45 percent of women without a high school degree are divorced within 10 years of their first marriage, compared to about 15 percent for those with a college degree. When it comes to children raised by a single mother, almost 40 percent of the mothers have less than a high school degree; about 10 percent of single mothers have a college degree or better.
Sex was the last taboo for most women; first it was hem lines, then smoking in public, then alcohol and, in the 1960s, the advent of a little pill which let them delay having children without delaying their inner urges. None of this changes or erases the agony of youth; regardless of what anyone does, something different often looks better in retrospect.
Stepp has written a riveting account of sex for fun among the young, and the severe hangovers it sometimes causes. A similar book should be written about virgins who marry at 17 and divorce by 20 after the collapse of their illusions and delusions. It's not easy being young, regardless of how anyone chooses to live.
When will someone write that youth is sometimes unmitigated agony (with or without sex). But, out of this misery can come a lifetime of happiness, pleasure and commitment?
Easy sex isn't a mistake. It's a process of learning what isn't suitable. Think of Thomas Edison and his thousand experiments to develop a lightbulb; his unsuccessful attempts weren't failures, he thought of them as having learned what doesn't work. It's time for authors to think of "hooking up" in the same practical manner; it's something youth already knows, and adults need to learn.
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