Laurie Hollman has given parents an important, groundbreaking approach to discipline -- by guiding their children's behavior, not negative punishments for misbehaviors. As parents come to understand their child's point of view, they come to better understand their own. How this reciprocal relationship impacts how parents handle misbehaviors is a breakthrough that Hollman explains in an easy-to-follow 5-step process. How each step leads to the next is engagingly illustrated in riveting fictional accounts of real behaviors -- stories that make it hard to put this book down. By Unlocking Parental Intelligence, Hollman gives us reading that no one who cares about healthy family functioning will want to miss. Myrna Shure, Author of Raising a Thinking Child
Very helpful book for new and seasoned parents to get a better perspective on why kids do what they do at various stages of their lives. I've found that taking a step back - Dr. Hollman's first step in parental intelligence - helps me in parenting, marriage and business. Thank you, Dr. Hollman!
As the host of the popular "We Choose Respect ParentCast" I am constantly being introduced to parenting experts and the books they write. Unlocking Parental Intelligence by Dr Laurie Hollman is different than so many of the books I encounter in that it provides, clear, easy to follow advice that every parent can understand and implement. There is no jargon that will leave a typical parent shaking their head.
One of the things I love most about the book is that it offers real life, practical examples of how the techniques suggested in the book can help a family. No matter what age your child is, this book will help bring peace to your family and help you grow closer to your children. This is an important tool that every parent should have.
Reading Unlocking Parental Intelligence opened my eyes to the hidden meaning of my children’s behavior. No longer do I simply get frustrated when my kids behave in ways that find my disapproval; no longer do I assume that the behavior is a sign of disrespect or failure to listen; no longer do I immediately correct the behavior. Instead, I pause and ask myself what hidden message the behavior might send. Don’t misunderstand me, I still get frustrated and annoyed, and I still can’t wait for the behavior to stop. Yet with the help of Laurie Hollman’s Unlocking Parental Intelligence I have learned to work through these emotions in ways that are constructive for our entire family. Every parent should read Unlocking Parental Intelligence. In fact, everyone—child or no child—should read it, for not only children’s behaviors have hidden meanings. We send signals with everything we do and don't do, with everything we say and don't say, and often our signals get crossed. That is where Unlocking Parental Intelligence comes in. Laurie Hollman teaches us how to step back to consider not only the meaning behind our children’s (mis)behavior, but also the meaning behind our reaction to them. The five steps —1. pause and step back, 2. self-reflect, 3. consider your child’s mindset, 4. consider your child’s developmental stage, and finally 5. problem solve—help you focus on any parent’s real goal, which is maintaining a positive relationship to your child and creating a harmonious family life based on mutual respect, trust, and understanding. Unlocking Parental Intelligence begins by offering an explanation of the basic tenets behind the five steps, moves on to astute and informative stories illustrating the five steps, and ends with Dr. Hollman’s vision of how the new parental mindset can positively impact society at large. Ms. Hollman’s gentle prose makes this an enjoyable and insightful read. Helga Schier, PhD, Literary Editor at www.withpenandpaper.com
As I sat reading Unlocking Parental Intelligence, the synapses in my brain kept firing saying we need to do this, we need to do this, we need to do this!!! My husband and I often find ourselves frustrated and overwhelmed when confronted with our children's misbehavior. All too often I reflect on the fact that I never would've pulled these kind of antics on my parents and now after reading Laurie's book I realize that this line of thinking will continue to undermine a true understanding of the significance behind our sons' negative behavior. One of the most salient points that resonated with me was the thought that 'when children's voices are heard, leaders are born.' The five steps Laurie artfully lays out to unlock parental intelligence all lead to giving opportunities to listen to those voices. If we as parents follow those five steps, we can obtain a better perspective as to how to solve the problems associated with daily family struggles. This will ultimately help our community since our children will develop to be citizens who seek understanding and use empathy when in confrontational situations rather than looking at it as a power struggle in which the ultimate goal is to compel the other to do something they are fighting. - Laura J. Coogan-Leavy, Esq.
If you want to enjoy every moment with your kids and find meaning in every interaction, read this book!
In her groundbreaking book, Unlocking Parental Intelligence: Finding Meaning in Your Child’s Behavior, Dr Laurie Hollman empowers us as parents to find the source of our own innate intelligence and unlock it. As we become mindful of the issues driving our own and our children’s behaviors, we can become pro-active, connected parents, reading our children and understanding the messages behind their behaviors instead of just reacting to them. In a world of profound disconnect, this book is a guiding hand, crediting us with the deep parenting intelligence we all have, and giving us the tools we need to use it. A gift to parents everywhere.
One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is the ability to trust us with their feelings. The best way to understand your child's mind is through reflection of your own feelings and experiences, and what you currently bring to the table when you don't pause before reacting to a situation.
I found Dr. Hollman's book, Unlocking Parental Intelligence, to be very easy to read and insightful with lots of everyday examples I could relate to. If you wonder about why your child does the things (s)he does, or if they are getting under your skin, I recommend you pick up a copy of her book!
Pause, reflect, discern your child's behavior and development, find a solution.
Dr. Hollman has written a ground-breaking book that gives us fresh insight into the parent-child relationship. She helps us understand how the behaviors of children and teens often have powerful underlying meanings, and that understanding and addressing those meanings can solve real-life problems in effective, relationship-building ways. This is a must read for all parents, but especially those who have ever felt frustrated with those they love the most.
What I admire about this approach to child-rearing is that it teaches parents to react to behavioral problems in thoughtful ways that lead to stronger bonds with the child. Dr. Hollman stresses that parents should understand what they are experiencing when a child misbehaves and see it as an opportunity for communication. The book is illustrated with stories of several different families who move from anger and consternation to positive communication between parents and kids by using the steps outlined in UNLOCKING PARENTAL INTELLIGENCE... A great family resource.