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Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots Hardcover – February 14, 2012
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One of O magazine's "10 Titles to Pick Up Now"
“Deborah Feldman was raised in an insular, oppressive world where she was taught that, as a woman, she wasn’t capable of independent thought. But she found the pluck and determination needed to make the break from that world and has written a brave, riveting account of her journey. Unorthodox is harrowing, yet triumphant.”—Jeannette Walls, #1 bestselling author of The Glass Castle and Half Broke Horses
“[Feldman’s] matter-of-fact style masks some penetrating insights.”—The New York Times
“An unprecedented view into a Hasidic community that few outsiders ever experience. . . . Unorthodox reminds us that there are religious communities in the United States that restrict young women to marriage and motherhood. These women are expected to be obedient to their community and religion, without question or complaint, no matter the price.”—Minneapolis Star-Tribune
“Riveting . . . extraordinary.”—Marie Claire
“Eloquent, appealing, and just emotional enough . . . No doubt girls all over Brooklyn are buying this book, hiding it under their mattresses, reading it after lights out—and contemplating, perhaps for the first time, their own escape.”—HuffingtonPost.com
“Deborah Feldman has stripped the cloak off the insular Satmar sect of Hasidic Judaism, offering outsiders a rare glimpse into the ultraconservative world in which she was raised.”—Globe and Mail (Toronto)
“Compulsively readable, Unorthodox relates a unique coming-of-age story that manages to speak personally to anyone who has ever felt like an outsider in her own life. Feldman bravely lays her soul bare, unflinchingly sharing intimate thoughts and ideas unthinkable within the deeply religious existence of the Satmars. . . . Teens will devour this candid, detailed memoir of an insular way of life so unlike that of the surrounding society.”—School Library Journal
“[Feldman’s] no-holds-barred memoir bookstores on February 14th. And it’s not exactly a Valentine to the insular world of shtreimels, sheitels and shtiebels. Instead, [Unorthodox] describes an oppressive community in which secular education is minimal, outsiders are feared and disdained, English-language books are forbidden, mental illness is left untreated, abuse and other crimes go unreported . . . a surprisingly moving, well-written and vivid coming-of-age tale.”—The Jewish Week
“Imagine Frank McCourt as a Jewish virgin, and you've got Unorthodox in a nutshell . . . a sensitive and memorable coming-of-age story.”—Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
“[Deborah Feldman's] is an extraordinary story of struggle and dream. . . . Both her escape and her decision to tell her story are magnificent acts of courage.”—Anouk Markovits, author of I Am Forbidden
“Unorthodox is a fascinating book . . . Feldman’s voice resonates throughout.”—The Jewish Daily Forward
“Denied every kind of nourishment except the doughy, shimmering plates of food obsessively produced by her Holocaust-survivor grandmother . . . books nourish [Feldman’s] spirit and put in her hands the liberatory power of storytelling. As she becomes a reader and then a writer, Feldman reinvents herself as a human being.”—Newsday (New York)
“Unorthodoz is painfully good. . . .Unlike so many other authors who have left Orthodoxy and written about it, [Feldman’s] heart is not hardened by hatred, and her spirit is wounded but intact. . . . She is a sensitive and talented writer.”—JewishJournal.com
“Unorthodox is consistently engaging. And the very fact of it is touching. For years . . . [Feldman] examined library shelves, marveling that there were so many men and women who believed in their ‘innate right . . . to speak their mind in whatever way they saw fit.’ That she has joined their ranks is remarkable indeed.”—BarnesandNobleReview.com
“Feldman gives us special insight into a closed and repressive world. . . . Her memoir is fresh and tart and utterly absorbing.”—Library Journal
“Nicely written . . . [An] engaging and at times gripping insight into Brooklyn's Hasidic community.”—Publishers Weekly
“A remarkable tale.”—Kirkus Reviews
“Feldman’s evolution as well as her look inside a closed community make for fascinating reading … her storyteller’s sense and a keen eye for details give readers a you-are-there sense of what it is like to be different when everyone else is the same.”—Booklist
About the Author
Deborah Feldman was raised in the Hasidic community of Satmar in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn, New York. She attends Sarah Lawrence College and lives in New York City with her son.
Top Customer Reviews
About the book:
WHAT I LIKED
1) This is a rare glimpse into the Satmar world, unique among books because a)The author is the rare person who got out b) She had the courage to write about it c) Has the decent enough English skills to do so (Yiddish is the first language for Satmar Jews)
2)It exposes the darker side of the Satmar sect, where religion is more a matter of appearances that true spiritual growth. It shows religious hypocrisy at its worst.
WHAT I DIDN'T LIKE
1) While the book is most certainly authentic in a general sense, I wonder about how much exaggeration there might be. The author is passionate and clearly has a very personal agenda. It remains a question how much the author allowed her emotions to stretch the truth at times. The incredulous murder story, (since debunked?) certainly lends some credence to these doubts.
2) The book seemed to delve into detail when such detail was boring, but often devoted only a short paragraph to matters that begged for more. Overall, there was too much on her childhood, not enough on the story of how she left.
3) While impressive for an ex-Hasid, it is not written particularly well.Read more ›
I know there will be criticism from some in the Jewish community who consider Ms. Feldman an apostate for leaving Orthodoxy, but leaving aside those ideological issues, there is a lot to learn from this book. I think she is careful to write very kindly of her grandparents (who raised her) even though her leaving must have been a great blow to them (she does not write about that) but she is frankly critical of the rigid rules and some of the hypocrisy she saw. I admire her honesty. And in her defense, this kind of expose could be written about many other closed groups - Amish, Morman, Christian fundamentalist, Muslims, Catholic monasteries, etc. In such an insular environment anyone who rebels against the group must appear to be a traitor to those who remain.Read more ›
The author is very young and sometimes her writing seems amateur and immature. Other times, she seems to contradict herself, almost as if she is still having trouble parting with her faith; she probably is. Her upbringing, culture, and faith are her foundation and questions, parting with, and being highly critical of that foundation would make most wobble a bit and appear to make contradictions, especially at the age of 24.
That being said, she does a good job introducing the reader to a world and culture usually closed to outsiders; the world of the Satmar. Some of her claims seem unbelievable and far-fetched, such as a story about a man that kills his boy when he catches him masturbating. What makes this story even more unbelievable is her claim that the Jewish emergency service helped him cover-up the killing of his child and dispose of the body. This story is obviously not true. The author doesn't claim to have witnessed this event, but instead, she claims that her husband was told about this, from another source. I can see how someone raised in a culture that shuns televisions, the English language, newspapers, and just about any form of media, could easily be led to believe such a story. It is possible that the author made up this story to embellish the book, but it is more likely that she was told this story, by someone she trusted, and she was gullible enough to believe it.
This story is about a culture that turned insular, in an effort to survive and became repressive and oppressive.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
This was a great story. Very good insight into the life of the Orthodox Jewish community. I thoroughly enjoyed this bookPublished 3 days ago by Amazon Customer
This book starts pretty slow, but it gets so interesting in the middle. Some parts are a little repetitive, but it doesn't really take away from the interesting parts. Read morePublished 22 days ago by Hannah
Proud of Deborah that she was strong enough to leave such a difficult way of life.I found it very Interesting to read about the scandals within the community.Published 1 month ago by Susan Nathan
Her story confirmed everything I believed to be true when I was very young and visiting my father's relatives (I am now a 62 year old grandma. Read morePublished 1 month ago by Fran F.
Impossible to like a book that claims to be truth, yet holds so many lies, including stories that have been PROVEN false. Read morePublished 1 month ago by Netanya
Could not put this book down..Her honesty , determination and eventual escape are both courageous and inspiring. Well worth itpPublished 2 months ago by sandra olivier