What if you were living with only half of yourself, letting the best and brightest parts of you trickle out into the world through a coffee straw instead of flowing like the Colorado River? What if it weren't about "playing big", but allowing more of yourself to come to the party just as you are?
These are the conversations I have with myself in this deeply personal book. And because I work with so many women, I know I'm not alone in this desire. Which is why I chose to have it publicly. Here. In this book.
It was on these pages that I realized I was the size of Texas but had spent most of my life trying to fit myself into a state the size of Rhode Island. Despite my best efforts and clearest intentions, I was still playing small, holding myself back, and reigning myself in.
I wasn't sure what was at the root of these feelings, but I was clear on one thing: I wanted all of me – without the excuses, explanations, justifications, qualifications, or negotiations that happened in my mind.
In this book, I asked myself (and readers) to explore questions like these:
— What if having more "balance" is about the energy I use to fuel my life?
— What if it isn't about figuring it out as much as it is letting it out?
— How would it feel – in my body, as a woman – to live my life with every ounce of my being?
Why are these important to me? To women? Now? Because of what's waiting for us on the other side of answering them for ourselves: Freedom. Like the women I work with, I want to break out of the box, rip up all the scripts I have been given – and have written – about what it means to be a woman, and feel my way into every nook and cranny of myself. I want to burn with this intention so bright I am luminous.
At the root of this search, I unearthed two distinct energies – the masculine and the feminine – that have been fighting like unruly siblings in the backseat of my car. The first is robust and bossy, the second stubborn and insistent. One I shame, the other I silence.
Inviting these two energies to dance together inside my one body has become my living prayer. This is the story of what I'm discovering.
If you feel like you're the only woman having these thoughts, you're not. If you sense there is more inside you to tap into, there is. If your hunger is building and your patience is running out, feast on this.
Come dance with me.
What readers are saying:
— "Beautiful, smart and courageous. I've cried and laughed equally about a hundred times."
— "This is the bomb. Exactly, exactly, exactly what I am experiencing. Love it."
— "I could SEE myself in her writing, I could FEEL myself reflected in her stories, insights and reflections. Lael's courageous, candid and often times hilarious writing had me not only captivated, but comforted..."
— "Notes are scribbled in the margins. Sentences are underlined...this has me riveted and is so resonant."
—"The authenticity is beautiful, the humor and storytelling provocative...each bite is so savory."
— "I needed this book...it's hitting me exactly where I need it to. So resonant. So many things familiar."
— "The words in this book are woven into stories that made me laugh, nod in agreement, and ponder long after I'd put the book down..."