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Untrue: Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, Lust, and Infidelity Is Wrong and How the New Science Can Set Us Free Hardcover – September 18, 2018
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What do straight, married female revelers at an all-women's sex club in LA have in common with nomadic pastoralists in Namibia who bear children by men not their husbands? Like women worldwide, they crave sexual variety, novelty, and excitement.
In ancient Greek tragedies, Netflix series, tabloids and pop songs, we've long portrayed such cheating women as dangerous and damaged. We love to hate women who are untrue. But who are they really? And why, in this age of female empowerment, do we continue to judge them so harshly?
In Untrue, feminist author and cultural critic Wednesday Martin takes us on a bold, fascinating journey to reveal the unexpected evolutionary legacy and social realities that drive female faithlessness, while laying bare our motivations to contain women who step out.
Blending accessible social science and interviews with sex researchers, anthropologists, and real women from all walks of life, Untrue challenges our deepest assumptions about ourselves, monogamy, and the women we think we know. From recent data suggesting women may struggle more than men with sexual exclusivity to the revolutionary idea that females of many species evolved to be "promiscuous" to Martin's trenchant assertion that female sexual autonomy is the ultimate metric of gender equality, Untrue will change the way you think about women and sex forever.
- Print length320 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherLittle, Brown Spark
- Publication dateSeptember 18, 2018
- Dimensions6.5 x 1.13 x 9.75 inches
- ISBN-100316463612
- ISBN-13978-0316463614
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Editorial Reviews
Review
―Deb Copaken, The Atlantic
"Scientifically literate and sexually cliterate...an exuberant unfettering of female sexuality that challenges us to 'think outside her box.' Viva la Vulva!"―Ian Kerner, sex therapist and author of She Comes First
"A simultaneously frothy and substantive tour of female sexual desire...An indispensable work of popular psychology and sociology."―Kirkus (Starred Review)
"At times playful, the narrative teems with fascinating commentary about everything from bonobos and paleolithic gender roles to Craigslist ads, as Martin examines how female sexuality continues to be shaped and stigmatized by artificial social constructions, sociopolitical values, and economics, all under the guise of 'natural' female biology and desire. A timely take on femininity and sexuality."―Emily Bowles, Library Journal (Starred Review)
"Combining Barbara Ehrenreich's immersive reporting style and Carrie Bradshaw's savoir faire, [Wednesday Martin] dispels many myths about female desire."―O, The Oprah Magazine
For centuries, men have been telling the story of female sexuality. Unsurprisingly, it was riddled with condescension, bias, and sheer ignorance. With Untrue, Wednesday Martin sets the record straight, shining a light on some of the female researchers reshaping our understanding of what turns women on, and why. This is an important story, beautifully told. Highly recommended."―Christoper Ryan, coauthor of Sex at Dawn
If you have ever felt different, other, or just weird when it comes to love, sex, or intimacy, read Untrue. In it, Wednesday Martin bulldozes the sexual stereotypes that have silenced and constrained us for centuries, bringing the voices of women who love in a range of ways to the surface. Dazzling."―Rachel Simmons, co-founder of Girls Leadership and author of Enough as She Is Odd Girl Out
"Wednesday Martin understands female sexuality -- from the #MeToo movement and polyamory to women's prehistoric and cultural heritage. She goes far beyond our current psychological understanding of women's infidelity to tell the real story of women's ubiquitous, tenacious, and primordial sexual strategies. And her writing is not only informative, timely, and refreshing but wonderfully engaging. Brava, Wednesday."―Helen Fisher, author of The First Sex and Why We Love
About the Author
Product details
- Publisher : Little, Brown Spark; Illustrated edition (September 18, 2018)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 320 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0316463612
- ISBN-13 : 978-0316463614
- Item Weight : 1.32 pounds
- Dimensions : 6.5 x 1.13 x 9.75 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #449,108 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #321 in Medical Psychology of Sexuality
- #565 in General Anthropology
- #723 in Psychology & Counseling Books on Sexuality
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Wednesday Martin, PhD, has worked as writer and social researcher in New York City for more than two decades. The author of Stepmonster and the instant New York Times bestseller Primates of Park Avenue, she has appeared on Today, CNN, NPR, NBC News, the BBC Newshour, and Fox News as an expert on step-parenting and parenting issues. She writes for the online edition of Psychology Today and her work has appeared in The New York Times and Time.com. She was a regular contributor to New York Post’s parenting and lifestyle pages for several years and has written for The Daily Telegraph. Wednesday received her PhD from Yale University and lives in New York City with her husband and their two sons.
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Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonReviewed in the United States on December 23, 2019
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I wouldn't call it a sexually explicit book by any means, but there are a lot of sexual discussions in terms of the interviews that were conducted, but they were done in a tasteful way without explicit sexual details... at least not in the book. I can only imagine all of what Wednesday Martin may have learned or discussed that didn't actually get included.
As a man, reading this book, I do consider it very eye-opening in terms of understanding the more general feminine sexuality, but it is by no means a "how-to" manual for what is going to work in every situation. I think the biggest takeaway from it, is that EVERY relationship needs to be open about their wants, needs, expectations, etc... from the VERY beginning... to avoid some catastrophic failure years down the road where you may have brought children into the world and thus further complicating what may have become an already complicated relationship.
I would definitely recommend this to any open-minded (or close-minded for that matter) man, and EVERY woman, because it may give each a light-bulb moment to realize they are not alone or unique in whatever feelings they may be experiencing in their respective relationships.
I’ve actually decided to host a book club about Untrue next week and some friends are starting to give me feedback on how the reading is transforming the way they think about their own sexuality and their life choices in general.
I hope you don’t get discouraged by the one star reviews and give this amanzing well-researched brilliantly-written book a try.
Just keep this in mind: “The truth will set you free... but first it might piss you off.” Enjoy!














