The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant Audible Audiobook – Unabridged
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Some people are born boring. Some live boring. Some even die boring. Fred managed to do all three, and when he woke up as a vampire, he did so as a boring one.
Timid, socially awkward, and plagued by self-esteem issues, Fred has never been the adventurous sort. One fateful night - different from the night he died, which was more inconvenient than fateful - Fred reconnects with an old friend at his high school reunion. This rekindled relationship sets off a chain of events thrusting him right into the chaos of the parahuman world: a world with chipper zombies, truck driver wereponies, maniacal necromancers, ancient dragons, and now one undead accountant trying his best to "survive". Because even after it's over, life can still be a downright bloody mess.
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|Listening Length||7 hours and 2 minutes|
|Whispersync for Voice||Ready|
|Audible.com Release Date||February 24, 2015|
|Best Sellers Rank|| #8,649 in Audible Books & Originals (See Top 100 in Audible Books & Originals) |
#19 in Paranormal Fantasy for Teens
#22 in Paranormal Mystery, Thriller & Suspense for Teens
#44 in Teen & Young Adult Vampire Fiction
Top reviews from the United States
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– The book was episodic—it was basically this man, Fred, telling some anecdotes about incidents that have happened in his life since becoming a vampire—but it worked well enough in this case. I do wonder though if these were originally published separately since, with each new “episode” (I don’t know if they were called that, I think they were journal entries, but I’m calling them that), things would be explained that were just explained or that just happened in the previous episodes. The repetition was mildly annoying but a small issue.
– Contrary to what Fred says, the title of this book is not quite true. Fred himself was rather uninteresting (more on that in a moment), but his life was not. Werewolves, necromancers, dragons—for a man who literally plans his spontaneity, he manages to get into quite a bit of trouble.
– When I said Fred was uninteresting, I didn’t mean that as an insult to the book. That was just his character. The man ironed his Halloween costume for goodness sake. He was a straight-laced accountant who rarely left his apartment, wore sweater vests, and got ulcers and stress headaches at the thought of confrontation. But then… he started changing. Slowly but surely, he started changing. Forget becoming a vampire, dating Crystal was the best thing that ever happened to him. (Ok, fine, becoming a vampire still helped, but he would’ve just gone on with his same lifestyle had she not come along.) I loved seeing his growth throughout the book, but I also loved that he was still himself at his core. He didn’t really have anyone he was close to throughout his life, but as he got a girlfriend and friends, he started to realize there were things worth risking his safety and solitude for sometimes. My favorite parts were when he actually showed some courage and did something awesome. My absolute favorite part was [hidden spoiler can be found in my review on my blog or Goodreads].
– The book was easy to put down, and I think that was my main issue. I enjoyed it, and I happily continued the series, but it was a little slow, and I think it was the episodic nature that made it hard for me to get that “I have to know what happens next” feeling.
– I listened to the audiobook, and I’ll admit I’m not an audiobook fan, but it worked well for this book; the writing was in first person, and it was supposed to be entries in a memoir, so it actually felt like the character was just reading it out loud to me. And the narrator, Kirby Heyborne, did a good job with the dialogue/voices, making them all sound different and natural enough. In fact, I think having this read aloud to me gave the story more life than it would’ve had if I had read it myself.
Overall, this was a light, funny, sweet book that I enjoyed with a vampire who was not your typical vampire but who was all the more lovable for it!
Rating: 3.5 Stars
Original Review @ Metaphors and Moonlight (link in profile)
I'm not sure how to even begin to explain this book. The first thing that struck me was the title. It's the longest title for a book that I have read and I read a lot of books but it stood out in its oddity, I mean most book titles are short and to the point. The next thing that struck me was the words of the title. If I took them at face value I was in for an "Uninteresting and Unadventurous" read.
Let me assure you that I was not uninterested and it certainly was not unadventurous although, Fred would maybe best be described as a wet paper towel at the beginning of the story who would fold like a cheap suit at even a loud unexpected noise. As a vampire, you would think that his life would have changed and he would be one of those mythical badasses but you'd be wrong, well about the badass part anyway, as his life most certainly changed in the most unexpected ways.
Now knowing that the lead character is an accountant, a group not really known for their badassery, and given that he has an aggressive streak about as strong as a Kola bear, you may be thinking, why would I read this book? and that's a fair point. Because it's the other characters that come into Fred's life unbidden and seemingly at some of the most terrifying times, that make this a very interesting read.
I have read a lot of paranormal and fantasy books and I can tell you I have never, let me say that again, never, read about wereponies. If that one word alone doesn't have you ready to push the "Buy" button then maybe you should just keep looking as this may not be the book for you.
I admit that as the book went I was expecting (hoping more like it) that Freddie would somehow break out of his naturally ingrained instinct to run and hide like a cockroach caught out when the lights suddenly come on and it wasn't until a character said later in the book that "Fred was one of those people that somehow manages to pull through when the chips are down, even despite himself" that I started to appreciate his character.
The only thing I will say is that the biggest hesitation for buying this book was the price, now I know that six bucks isn't bad but I'm cheap and read a lot of books so price is a huge thing for me especially on an unknown author and the ONLY reason I did decide to give it a shot was because of who recommended it. There are very few books I will spend over four bucks for but at the end of the day, I really enjoyed it and as much as I hate to admit it, I'm insanely curious as to the future adventures of Freddie and his band of misfits.
So often when I read a book with a vampire as the main character, the vampire in question always comes across as someone cool and aloof. A badass that follows their own rules and doesn’t care what anyone else thinks. Someone who is always ready to kick ass and take names.
Fred – short for Frederick Frankford Fletcher (yes really!) – is none of those things. He’s not even close. And that is what makes him great.
In The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, The Vampire Accountant, Hayes has taken a well-known (and often overused) character idea and turned it on its ear. Fred doesn’t suddenly become a super cool guy when he’s turned, he remains his original sweater vest-wearing geeky self. He is aware of the person he comes across as and uses that to his advantage.
The Utterly Uninteresting… is actually five mini-stories in one book. Each chapter is one of Fred’s adventures, introducing us not to just Fred but the friends and colleagues he gains along the way. As the book goes on, we see Fred grow as a person and as a vampire in ways that are not only amusing but satisfying as well.
This is a wonderfully light story despite the seemingly dark subject matter. It’s fun and funny and was an overall enjoyable read. I definitely recommend Fred The Vampire Accountant to my readers. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did.
Top reviews from other countries
I've just bought the next book with these characters, so I hope it's as good!