I've read some reviews of this book on Amazon that were written by men who are, it is obvious, deathly afraid of the requirements of the art of intimacy. Some tend to focus on and take personally, one small experiential part of the book, as if it were an affront to be taken personaly as an insult. I find such criticisms indicate a man who is insecure, threatened and afraid of women and their own feminine side. However, NW is quite clear about what kind of touch and behavior by or from men or other women, and the effect those behaviors are likely to have on target or witness of these acts. She goes into what some have called too much detail. Believe me, she could have been FAR more specific and detailed should she have so chosen. One point she does make unequivocally clear from the start is that this book is written about WOMEN, the woman's body, and the effect that those (described in delicious or frightening detail) behaviors and touches are likely have on women. She makes it clear, by saying so, that in certain areas she is writing about women and their over-all situation and that it may well be that men need their own book, their own research about how their bodies work.
However, this is a great book and it is an important book. I think it is required reading for anyone with a vagina and/or has a relationship with someone who does. This book's importance is NOT in its description of just what a man or woman can do to truly open up and deepen what I will call a "vaginally populated relationship" (it's a clumsy phrase but I like it so I am keeping it.)This book's importance is the scientific evidence regarding female and male interactions. I'm sixty three and I thought I was pretty well informed. I admit that throughout my life I have been curious and attentive enough to take my time as a member of a relationship, including sexual ones, to find out what is helpful and what isn't. I knew that there was a lot that I "knew" through experience without ever giving much thought of the "why?" of it. What NW has done in this beautiful, challenging and rewarding book is to gather together in one place scientific proof, evidence, of HOW a woman's body works and that is exciting. It is exciting in that it demonstrates that what a lot of lunk-headed men think is malarky is, in fact, true. This evidence does several things for the reader. S/he becomes very well-informed about the very specific, I mean cellular level specifics, of how the female body works in relation to others from the time in utero on.. She describes very complicated research in an exciting, clear, beautiful and easily understood way.I admit, I was already a person who thought, "if Naomi Wolf is talking/writing about this, I want to hear/read it." So sue me, I think she is one of the most important progressive people writing today. Her humanity is, perhaps, her greatest strength. It guides her and gives her safe ground from which to ask sometimes very difficult questions in a most non-threatening way. She is also willing to be surprised, to let assumptions be replaced by proof, even when she may not like what the proof shows.
What this book shows is that Naomi Wolf has given our living generations a beautiful book about the anatomy, physiology, neuro-biological, neuro-physiological, psychosociological and cultural aspects of human relational experience. What I find so very exciting is she brings to the reader's attention how experience and behavior have an effect, sometimes a lasting effect, (right down to the cellular level) upon the female body and psyche. I do not believe I have the skill to coherently say how exciting this is to me. We certainly have known for a long time how the body works in some very obvious situations, such as danger eliciting the "fight or flight" attitude in a person. We know that obvious danger dumps huge amounts of adrenalin and testosterone from certain glands and into the bloodstream. What Ms Wolf does is make aware to the reader the visible, neurobiological changes that are occurring all the time. She shows the evidence of how the body changes even ever so subtly, but with profound effects upon the body and the ensuing behavior, in the day-to-day unfolding of a woman's life. It is, frankly, excitingly informative and will give any reader pause to reflect upon their own lives and their own relationships. This book takes the reader into the microscopic substrates of any vaginally involved relationship.I have neither the time nor the patience, nor the skill, quite frankly, to convey all of what Naomi Wolf has presented in this beautiful book. The irony is that were she never in an accident that involved her spine and pelvic nerve and were she not self-reflective and curious enough to seeks answers as to why something in her sex-life, something that was subtle, yet profound to her, had changed. Thanks to her curiosity the world of readers and of those who believe that relationships, to be fully realized require work and attention, owes her a debt of gratitude. I do believe everyone from mid-teens to late adulthood can and will benefit from reading this book. You have my thanks, Naomi, and my ever-deepening respect.CAVEAT: if you are male, you require a healthy ego and sense of trust and security in yourself to read this book and to HEAR it. Self-involved, selfish, thin-skinned and/or narcissistic men are likely to take much of the evidence Ms Wolf presents as some sort of personal indictment. It is not. It is important useful INFORMATION about REALITY. It may will challenge your pre-conceived notions about yourself in relationship to women and may seem threatening to you. Take a breath, relax, and read on. It's not about you, it's about things from the woman's side (or is it?). Highest recommendation.
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Top reviews from other countries
Jules
Trotzdem es etwas aus der Zeit gefallen ist, ein gutes Buch
Reviewed in Germany on May 9, 2023Melissa de Sá
Every woman - and man - should read this
Reviewed in Brazil on January 18, 2020