This book was my method of therapy after the crippling loss of the love of my life to addiction. It was never meant to be a book. It came from the tattered pages of a 70-page loose leaf tablet that I carried everywhere with me following his death on 11/14/2014. I knew that I was not okay, but I did not know how to articulate what I was feeling, so I wrote. When I allowed three significant people in my life to read the journal, the vote was unanimous. They all told me that I should put the journal to print because many people are dealing with their own "Ambers". So I decided to publish the story of my beloved and me, warts and all. So I say thank you to those three people, my brother Keith, my sister Erica, and my Sister in Christ Eurecka. My healing began through the publishing of this book.