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Very Married: Field Notes on Love and Fidelity Paperback – September 27, 2016

4.4 out of 5 stars 58 ratings

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Marriage is beautiful and brutal. Marriage is brutiful. Katherine tells the truth about marriage and sets couples free to love each other imperfectly, without shame. I am so grateful for Katherine's wise, brave voice and her important work in the world."

--Glennon Doyle Melton,  NYT Bestselling Author of Carry On, Warrior and Love Warrior


"Too often our culture idealizes or demonizes marriage, as if it is a fairy tale of "and they lived happily ever after" or an archaic institution to forsake. Very Married is the book we have all been waiting for: hopeful, inclusive, practical, theological, honest talk about the complex sacrament of marriage as both reality to be lived and metaphor to be embodied. Katherine is a pastor at her core and on every page of this book, her calling is evident and whole-hearted. I'm grateful for her honesty, for her wisdom, for her work in this conversation. Now when I'm asked to recommend a book about marriage, I finally have an answer: Very Married by Katherine Willis Pershey!" 

-- Sarah Bessey, author of Jesus Feminist and Out of Sorts: Making Peace with an Evolving Faith


How many adjectives am I allowed to use to wholeheartedly endorse this marvelous book? Witty, engaging, honest, thoughtful, funny, wise, nuanced, gracious. I could go on. I will read this book more than once. I will give it to many friends. And I will be forever grateful to Katherine Willis Pershey for her honest and hopeful reflection on the complex, conflicted, and glorious institution of marriage. 

--Amy Julia Becker, author of Small Talk and A Good and Perfect Gift



"I've read my fair share of marriage books, but few are as deft in their storytelling or as honest in their reflection as Very Married. Pershey has written an extraordinary book, which shines an unfiltered light on the constituent parts of marriage--love, sacrifice, compromise, submission, and sex. Very Married does not shy away from the potential volatility of the time-honored institution, nor the God-ordained beauty of tender fidelity, and in this tension you will find its power."
--Seth Haines, author of Coming Clean


"I thought it would take a lifetime of marriage--of bearing witness together to all the heart and heartache of being human--before I could comprehend the profound beauty of this ancient commitment. I was wrong. All it took was reading this book. What Pershey has accomplished here is mysterious and sublime. Prepare to fall in love with marriage all over again, or perhaps, even, for the first time." 
--Kelly Flanagan, licensed clinical psychologist and author of The Marriage Manifesto and Loveable

"This is a marriage book I can get behind: grace-filled; doesn't take itself more seriously than it ought. It is a book on loving your spouse for the 'rest of us': regular folks working daily liturgies, choosing to witness life with the one for whom we've forsaken all others. It is a beautiful treatise on loving the gift of marriage, one I can give to friends without a second glance." 
--Tsh Oxenreider, author of Notes from a Blue Bike and At Home in the World




"Without question, this is the most authentic, most engaging, most truthful book I've ever read about love and marriage. I intend to borrow shamelessly from this book for future premarital counseling and wedding meditations."
 --Keith Graber Miller, Professor of Bible and Religion, Goshen College

"Witty, candid, and heartfelt...This is a book that celebrates the hard work of marriage and that makes readers believe marriages 'can be saved, and that marriage as an institution can be redeemed.' It is a book that is sure to become part of the premarital counseling canon, passed among friends, and opened whenever "for better or for worse" is put to the test."

-- Publishers Weekly


In her second book, pastor and writer Pershey (Any Day a Beautiful Change) weaves together personal stories of the triumphs and tribulations of her own marriage, theological reflections on this ancient institution, and practical advice for both newlyweds and not-so-newlyweds alike. Witty, candid, and heartfelt, this book covers topics such as maintaining a healthy sex life and dealing with in-laws with a refreshing energy. Pershey’s love and respect, for both her husband and the covenant of marriage, is evident on every page. However, she does not shy away from discussing the sometimes heart-wrenching, sometimes dull daily labor that marriage requires. With poignant and relatable honesty, she confesses to difficult times with her faith and fidelity: an almost-affair, her struggles with codependency and her husband’s alcoholism, and her marriage’s rough first few years. This is a book that celebrates the hard work of marriage and that makes readers believe marriages “can be saved, and that marriage as an institution can be redeemed.” It is a book that is sure to become part of the premarital counseling canon, passed among friends, and opened whenever “for better or for worse” is put to the test.

--Publisher's Weekly

About the Author

Katherine Willis Pershey is author of Very Married: Field Notes on Love and Fidelity and Any Day a Beautiful Change and associate minister of the First Congregational Church in Western Springs, Illinois. Her work has appeared in Christian Century, A Deeper Story, and the anthology Disquiet Time, and she has been interviewed by Working Mother Magazine, Patheos, and Things Not Seen. She and her husband, Benjamin, have two daughters.

Product details

  • Item Weight : 9.6 ounces
  • Paperback : 224 pages
  • ISBN-13 : 978-1513800172
  • ISBN-10 : 1513800175
  • Dimensions : 5.5 x 0.4 x 8.4 inches
  • Publisher : Herald Press (September 27, 2016)
  • Language: : English
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.4 out of 5 stars 58 ratings

Customer reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
4.4 out of 5
58 global ratings
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Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on September 27, 2016
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Reviewed in the United States on September 27, 2016
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Reviewed in the United States on October 9, 2016
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Reviewed in the United States on October 25, 2016
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Top reviews from other countries

Hannah
5.0 out of 5 stars Down-to-earth, honest, and filled with learned wisdom
Reviewed in Canada on August 8, 2019
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars I loved this book
Reviewed in Canada on February 18, 2017
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4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
Reviewed in Canada on March 2, 2017
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Amazon Kunde
5.0 out of 5 stars great book!
Reviewed in Germany on February 22, 2017
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