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About Victoria Ponte
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Blog postThis inspiring collection of essays will help you live your best life with gratitude, wonder and a sense of humor!
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Blog posthttps://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B08BGD5BP5&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_e.8mFbTTAVVT2
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Blog post20 Not-So-Random Things I’m Grateful For I’m not going to be funny here. Or at least I’m not going to try. I have been living life with an attitude of gratitude since I survived a severe stroke when I was 35 and expecting a baby. The baby will turn 21 this April. I’m grateful we are both alive and well.
Digging deeper, I have broken my list into 2 parts:
Stroke-Related things to be grateful for: The fact that I was right-handed and the stroke affected my left side. This meant I d -
Blog postI have loved and lost two magnificent dogs so far. I lost another one I didn’t love so much. I had always loved dogs until I became disabled. Then having a dog added more difficulty to my already challenged life.
Ski, a 170 lb. St. Bernard, arrived in our family when I was three years old in a red 1967 Jaguar convertible. He sat in the passenger seat, and was just gorgeous.
He was truly a gentle giant. We four kids used to sit on him, ride on his back, pick his teeth, put his ea -
Blog postWhat does it mean when the woman who catches the bride’s bouquet is married? The tradition of brides tossing a bouquet to a crowd of single women is supposed to predict which single woman will be married next according to who catches it.
The practice was originally started in Medievel times when it was considered good luck to “steal” a piece of the bride’s gown after the wedding by tearing it off her dress. Supposedly, brides threw flowers at the crowds to distract them long enough for -
Blog postA story about an adventure that was made possible by a positive attitude As we drove into the Jasper Park Lodge in Jasper, Canada, we passed the riding stables. After days of touring through the Canadian Rockies by train and motor coach, I thought it would be fun to see more on horseback. My brother and I were staying right in Jasper National Park.
I had to consider my safety. Even though I have been riding for the last 18 years, it has always been at the stable in New Jersey that spec -
Blog postWe had a newborn son, as well as a two year old son. I was in a wheelchair. Looking back 20 years, I have trouble remembering how we did it. Raising children is the toughest job on the planet. Disable one parent, and the challenges multiply exponentially. I can remember days when I thought there was no way we could do it. In response, my mother always told me, “They will grow up anyway.” That holds true no matter what your challenges may be. Time marches on. Our sons are now 20 and
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Blog postFor mother’s day, I eschewed traditional gift ideas this year, and instead, insisted that my mother come with me to a world class destination spa for two days. I felt that achieving remission from stage 3 ovarian cancer at her age warranted spending special time together. She is 85 years old, and not very keen on leaving home:
Both of Us Were Nearly Dead, What Is There To Be Stressed Out About?
Keeping Things In Perspective For Mother’s Daymedium.com
I knew once she was on -
Blog postNo pay, very little stress and a lot of fun As part of my refusal to let my disability hinder my commitment to being the best mom I could for my kids, I volunteered to work at the school library when each of them were in kindergarten through third grade. I wasn’t sure when I signed up if the physical demands would be too much for me, but I took the chance and was very glad I did.
I knew that I would mostly be seated at the desk where the students came to check out books. I was goo -
Blog postPart IV
When we’re old enough to know better Doubt
Will it ever end?medium.com
I woke up on Saturday full of renewed energy. I had taken the bold step of casting my doubts aside about Joe and given him another chance. It had been no small feat to make him go home after he drove us back to my place after dinner the night before. I wanted him and knew he wanted me.
We’d had great conversation over dinner and he reminded me how funny he could be by making me laugh r -
Blog postPart II
With Doubt Running in the Background Hope and Doubt
They usually go togethermedium.com
I avoided his calls and texts for almost a week. I was afraid I could fall in love with him, and he would be nothing but trouble. Still, so much about him was attractive. I remained on the dating app searching through potential matches but they all seemed like duds compared to Joe. Unemployed, underemployed, out of shape, married. It was discouraging.
I was lonely. I was hea -
Blog postLive long enough, and you’ll have them When we’ve reached “a certain age”, we have many chips, dents and scratches. It is rare to escape trauma of any sort and reach maturity. Often these traumatic experiences shape who we become. We enter into relationships having been subjected to extreme temperatures and pressures as in the way diamonds are formed.
Flawless diamonds are extremely rare. In my early 50's, I dated a man who believed we were a perfect match because each of us had a -
Blog postEvery stroke is different I learned last week that I have a diagnosis known as PSSP. That’s post stroke shoulder pain. I’ve had it for 20 years:
Damn
My Journey Through 19 Years of Chronic Painmedium.com
I think I have finally cracked the code for this pain. I had a wire surgically implanted that communicates with an external stimulator that interrupts the signal of pain to my brain through a process known as parasthesia.
After the surgery, I had to visit the doctor -
Blog postThey usually go together This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to persons, living or dead, is purely coincindental.
I wanted to believe he would be the next big thing. Yet, I had nagging doubts.
Joe and I connected online. His profile seemed a bit on the mysterious side. I’m not sure why, but I am often suspect of a man who has reached maturity and has never married or had children. Our culture still doesn’t readily accept that this is an appropriate choi -
Blog postHow Being Stubborn Gave Me My Life Back To borrow words from Tom Petty’s famous song that he wrote after an arsonist set his house on fire:
“I Won’t Back Down”
Well I won’t back down
No I won’t back down
You can stand me up at the gates of Hell
But I won’t back down
No I’ll stand my ground
Won’t be turned around
And I’ll keep this world from dragging me down
Gonna stand my ground
And I won’t back down
Hey baby, there ain’t no -
Blog postHow we can only see what we want to see I’ll admit, I am writing from a place of pure speculation in terms of what others see and think. I believe I am aware of the times I chose to ignore the facts in front of me and focus on what I wanted to see and believe. This is especially true when it comes to the wonderful world of online dating.
John Adams said:
Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot -
Blog post“If I could not walk far and fast, I think I should just explode and perish.” -Charles Dickens Leave it to a master to express the exact perpetual frustration I have had for 20 years. A severe stroke at age 35 made it so that I can walk, but not fast or far. I don’t take walking for granted. I realize that I did before I was injured.
I came across the quote from Charles Dickens for the first time yesterday. I was at a Weight Watchers meeting with a focus on exercise, and the -
Blog postA Story About a Drunken Episode I dated a man who suffered from severe alcoholism that eventually killed him. Sometimes the drunken binges lead to fun, sometimes not. The affair lasted for a year and a half during which time there many “episodes” that could be cast either way. This is one such story.
We were having dinner in the basement bar in a historic hotel in town near my lake house as we’d done most weekends we were away. He ordered 3 or 4 Manhattans, Jack Daniels, straight -
Blog postIf That’s What Turns You On There is a fairly short list of tasks on the “activities of daily living” that I have not been able to adapt to doing with my disability. Over the course of 20 years since I had a severe stroke, I have pretty much figured it all out; showering, driving, cooking, dressing and undressing. There are some major limitations, along with minor ones such as peeling a potato or changing a pillowcase with only one hand which are beyond my abilities.
Most people w
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