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About the Author
About Dr. Andrea Gould: Andrea S. Gould, Ph.D. is a New York psychologist and a social artist with a private and independent coaching. She received her training in clinical and community psychology at Hofstra University where she graduated in 1975. Her career includes consulting work for media, staff development in business, private and not for profit as well as public education, and university mentoring. For over 30 years, her full time private psychotherapy practice was centered on Long Island. Dr. Gould founded Lucid Learning Systems in 1983; a consultative and educational organization that teaches people how to optimize their learning process, and to purposefully change their lives for the better. This passionate mission connects seekers with her creative compendium of multi-disciplinary guidance entitled, "Enlightened Information for Transformation™." A diligent collector of theory and research on learning and brain/mind processes, all products developed out of her institute have the distinctive ability to help make any learning process, including psychological adjustment, more transparent. Dr. Gould's ingenuity is in crafting "animated" (multi-media) curricula for the management of change and makes her a popular workshop leader and keynote speaker. Her organization designs programs and provides timely and meaningful leadership for people and projects in the process of change.
The premise of the book could be very valuable for those who have lost loved ones and may need guidance as to what to expect in the healing journey. Certainly the author has enough professional experience in that regard to share such wisdom. The problem is that she only writes from her own perspective of an extroverted approach where she quickly resumed work and social activities. Many do not handle loss in that manner as it can feel more like an escape route rather than taking time for inner processing. Although she does state we all have our own way, it would have been far more helpful if she had written from a broader perspective rather than simply her own. The other issue is that it became just too annoying and frustrating to try to read through her flowery presentation to get to the heart of what she was trying to express. Does she really journal in such a manner? It's so much easier when words come across clearly so that wisdom and heart can shine through.
A Virgin Widow is comforting. There were so many places in this book where I felt like Dr Gould was thinking and feeling exactly the same things that I have been thinking and feeling. The only difference was that her journey began several years ago and my journey started less than seven months ago. Some of the things that I learned that she wrote that grabbed me the most were "the process takes as long as it takes," and that "grief can be resolved, dissolved. But there's one prerequisite: You have to be willing to move on--not run away." I would recommend this book to anyone who has lost a close loved one.
Having read Dr. Andrea Gould's THE VIRGIN WIDOW, I knew from the first page that I was in the mind of a brilliant and caring therapist--a coach who knows how to transition from the pain of loss to a plateau of eventual recovery. Like so many of us who lost a loved one, I have wandered the parched road of grief, whose every footstep left a print of despair. Will I ever get through this? I asked myself. When? How? The answer came within the healing pages of THE VIRGIN WIDOW. Having experienced loss herself, Dr. Gould helped me get through one of the most anguished periods of my life. For all those looking for restoration, for a way to heal the ache of grief--or at least to soften its punch--this book is a must-read. --Jack Kamm, Tucson, AZ
"The Virgin Widow", is a blend of memoir and self-help journal. Her journey is unusual because it deviates from how one would expect a grieving widow's story to play out - it is instead bold and pragmatic. It is this model of someone taking care of herself at the get-go as she allows her network to do its work that many will find useful in that it might very well take the edge off their own grieving process. It is evident, particularly in the beginning pages that the author's intent is to provide an out-stretched welcoming hand and supportive guidance provided in a modeling format. If you are interested in this author's atypical journey and practical coping mechanisms, then look no further - it's here.
Almost every adult has had a profound loss: a parent, a marriage, a friend, a beloved pet, a career, a home, a dream...
Dr. Andrea Gould is a sensitive psychologist and an empathetic writer; we feel her respect and compassion for the processes of grief, healing and growth. The loss of my marriage sent me through the spirals of grief to the reinvention of my life. Dr. Gould movingly shares the loss of her husband.
Dr. Gould spins her story in a prism of expressive and lucid prose and poetry. She shares her wisdom in growing stronger and realizing that "I can move the clouds and let the light through".
The Virgin Widow is a captivating memoir describing her grief when her partner of 13 years died suddenly. The book was compelling. I read it from start to finish in one sitting over the course of 3 hours. The book, which contains excerpts from Dr. Gould's journal including some poignant poetry as well as "professional" observations of her grieving process, offers an invaluable resource to professionals dealing with clients with trauma and loss issues. Though the book is written as a guide for widows dealing with the loss of a partner it describes her willingness to be introspective while emphasizing the importance of a support network of family and friends as well as "alone" time top assess and regroup. J. C. LCSW
This poetic, sensitive memoir stands on its own as a solace to those who have been recently widowed. But it goes far beyond in its appeal. Anyone who has experienced any kind of grievous loss will appreciate the understanding, soul searching nature of this book. Those who fear loss will especially benefit. Knowing what to expect and how one intelligent, insightful woman passed through this experience can open up vistas for others. Sparkling with imagery and beautifully constructed language this book is a must-read for anyone who appreciates the inner life and wants to expand and grow.