- Paperback: 314 pages
- Publisher: Omnific Publishing (November 27, 2012)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 1623420024
- ISBN-13: 978-1623420024
- Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.7 x 8.5 inches
- Shipping Weight: 14.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars See all reviews (3,513 customer reviews)
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,143,078 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Wallbanger Paperback – November 27, 2012
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From Publishers Weekly
Aiming for silly, sarcastic, witty, and hot, Clayton's clumsy contemporary, inexplicably popular in its 2012 digital edition, misses the mark and comes off as ridiculous, immature, and irritating. Caroline's first night in her new apartment is interrupted in the early hours by the moaning and thumping coming from the other side of the wall. Caroline has a great job as a designer; two best friends who are caricatures of disempowered, desperate young women obsessed with sex and drinking; and a KitchenAid mixer. Her only problem in life? O, her missing orgasm (she named it, as she nicknames just about everything else, including her neighbor Wallbanger and his girlfriends, Spanx, Purina, and Giggler). Her quest for O involves endless attempted witticisms, text message transcriptions, and behavior so juvenile and beyond ridiculous that even the characters admit they sound like fourth graders. Agent: Pamela Harty, Knight Agency. (Aug.) --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.
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Top Customer Reviews
She played with my heart, got me lost in her words
Oh, Alice, Alice
Oops! I think I'm in love
I can't get enough
You make me laugh so hard
Alice Clayton always has the perfect mix of sexy and silly. I love how her books make me feel and the laughter they induce. Caroline and Simon were likeable and characters like Purina, Spanx and Giggler added some comedic relief to this little morsel. Wallbanger is full of humor but it isn't so much that it distracts from the love story; Clayton mixes just enough angst in to pull the whole thing together for a fabulous, well-rounded reading experience.
Poor Caroline has lost her O. Oh, where did it go you ask? Well, some guy with no skill took it from her and now she is stuck living next to a guy who really knows how to bang the wall. Poor, poor Caroline! Caroline is feisty and I like her. She loves big bands, George Clooney and her cat Clive. (Clive has a little thing for Purina, purrrrrr) She doesn't know it but she really just needs to be banged against the wall a couple of times herself. She seems content to be by herself but she hasn't meant her match...yet.
Their first meeting..
"You don't see me coming across the hall and banging on your door." - Simon
"No, you just bang on my damn wall. We share a bedroom wall. You're right up against me when I'm trying to sleep. Have some common courtesy." - Caroline
"Well, how come you can hear me and I can't hear you? Wait, wait, there's no one banging on your walls, is there?" - Simon
He smirked, and I felt the color drain from my face. I crossed my arms tightly across my chest, and as I looked down, I remembered what I was wearing.
Pink baby doll nightie. What a way to establish credibility.
I have to give props to Simon because he enjoys women of all sizes and shapes; it was a nice vacation from the usual model inspired book ladies. Simon, I don't know where you get the energy to deal with your harem of women (Purina, Spanx and Giggler) but man, what girl wouldn't want a little of that followed by some zucchini bread. Yes, Simon likes Caroline's zucchini bread amongst other things. Simon is confident and he seems to genuinely enjoy giving a woman pleasure. Who am I kidding..he is HOT! Simon isn't really looking for the attachment that comes with seeing one woman but that doesn't mean he can't bang his neighbor...
This was not insta-love and there was no quick roll in the hay; I enjoyed their standoffs, turned friendship turned lovers. Simon pushes Caroline to loosen up; girl has to get that O back. Caroline pushes Simon to want more. Neither was looking for a relationship or to fall in love but sometimes things happen when you least expect it. To me, that is the best kind of love. I think if you look too hard for anything, you end up with something that may not fit like an accidental romance.
I liked the supporting characters and how they ended up with their own accidental love stories;) We all have our types but if you always date the same guys and it never works, maybe you are looking for the wrong things. Wallbanger is a story of true, heart-melting, humorous love. I love Alice Clayton and cannot wait for what she has up her sleeve next.
Oh, and make sure to enjoy the dirty apple pie..
Wallbanger reads like a YA novel (despite the awkward and frankly, embarrassing sexual innuendo that pop up on every page), even though it feels like it was written by someone who has a very poor understanding of how women actually think and act. The main character and her two best friends remind me of a shrieking, immature group of 14 year old girls (they are actually working professionals in their mid-twenties), who just sit around and giggle about the various nicknames for penises, and apparently name their own body parts as well. The male characters are hardly better.
I was absolutely astounded that this book had such great reviews and ratings both on goodreads and Amazon, until I figured out why - Alice Clayton is a fan fiction author, and Wallbanger is a rewritten fan fiction story. I'm not here to bash fan fiction - many of the writers are quite talented, actually. But fan fiction is not a novel, and it very rarely translates well. It didn't work for Fifty Shades, in my opinion, and it's not working for Wallbanger. There is no character development, no actual romance, an ice-thin plot, and unlikeable characters. The sex scenes left me cold. I am an avid reader, and this is the first time in a long time a novel has left such a bad taste in my mouth. This is one of the first times I've truly felt cheated out of my money by Amazon, and I plan on letting them know. As for this book, if you expect absolutely nothing out of it and you are aware it has absolutely no substance, go for it. Otherwise, save your money.
Wallbanger is about neighbors Caroline and Simon. Caroline, aka Pink Nightie Girl, is a young, beautiful, independent Interior Designer. She has had a few relationships in the past but with no one that fit her lifestyle or personality. When she moves into her boss’ apartment she isn’t prepared for her neighbors’ late night visitors. Caroline has a great life, but she has one problem, her “O” has gone on vacation and she doesn’t know when if ever she will return. Will she be able to deal with Wallbanger and his harem of women waking her up at all hours of the night?
Simon, aka Wallbanger, is a traveling photographer that works for high paid popular magazines and documentaries. He is handsome, charming, and sure knows how to make his way around a bedroom. What will happen when Nightie Girl interrupts Wallbanger during a night of passion? Will Caroline be able to look past Simon’s harem of women and see the good man underneath all that sexiness?
Oh my goodness, this book is beyond hilarious. I laughed so hard at times my tears were unstoppable. Please read this book if only to read about Clive and his love for Purina! Not only does Clive and his kitty attitude get the giggles flowing but the good humor banter between the characters is something you don’t want to miss out on. The author supplied us with lots of good laughs, exceptional friendships, and sweet romance.
I will be definitely reading the next book by Alice Clayton in the Cocktails series, Rusty Nailed set to release soon in 2014. I can't wait to see what happens to Simon and Caroline in the future! Plus I miss Clive already. :)