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Wanting Sex Again: How to Rediscover Your Desire and Heal a Sexless Marriage Paperback – December 4, 2012
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"I have read many books on this common problem. Rarely does one come along that's as good as Wanting Sex Again. This book is beyond helpful. It works on so many different levels that I would recommend it for anyone in a long term relationship whether they are having desire problems or not. I can't recommend it highly enough." —Paul Joannides, PsyD, author of Guide to Getting It On
“This book challenges women to not passively accept low desire but rather to identify possible barriers preventing them from experiencing their innate femininity with all its mysterious pleasure.” —Deborah C. Neel, PhD, Licensed Psychologist/Certified Sex Therapist
“Low libido is a difficult, bedeviling problem for many women and couples. Laurie Watson has helped many women recover lost libido, and her book will help many more. Two thumbs up!”—Michael Castleman, author of Great Sex
“Laurie Watson has a gift for relating to women.” —Julie R. McQueen, CHES, Oncology Patient Navigator, Duke Cancer Center, Raleigh
“A valuable therapeutic resource…” —Carol Casper Figuers, PT, EdD, Associate Professor, Doctor of Physical Therapy Division, Department of Community and Family Medicine, Duke University School of Medicine
“Laurie Watson has a wonderful method… Her warmth, caring and passion for what she does really shines through.” —Ingrid Harm-Ernandes PT, WCS, BCIA-PMDB, Orthopedic/Women’s Health Specialties, Duke Hospital
“This insightful book is a compass that guides women back to their lost libido. Laurie’s message, rich in experience, inspires us to reconnect with our partners and ourselves.”—Polly Watson, MD, FACOG, NCMP, Boylen Healthcare, Raleigh
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With that said, this is an unusually wise and compassionate book that reflects the author's years of daily experience in the trenches of marital conflict, renewal and growth. It's also well and clearly written, a very engaging read, and the organization and presentation will work well both for those who skip around books eclectically as well as those who prefer to read a book cover to cover.
Far more than simply another "10 Quick Fixes to Boost Your Sex Life Without Really Trying," this book is built on the principle that sex and sexuality are not just a place of friction and growth between partners but also a window on greater relationship challenges and how they can affect and promote our sexuality.
In narrating typical challenges in marriage, the author does not let either partner off the hook. Instead, she calls on both to stand up, wake up and grow up to be our better selves, and to treat ourselves and our partners with love, respect and empathy.
For men, this book can help us understand our wives' perspectives, as well as our own roles in relationship entanglements and quagmires, as well as the opportunities and responsibilities we have for healing - and helping ourselves and our partners to thrive in - our marriages.
I write this review as a conservative Christian. Over the past few years, I've been critical of the conservative Christian marriage literature. I'm past the anger, but I haven't changed my negative assessment of the literature's treatment of sex in marriage. Conservative Christian authors simply don't write about female sexuality with the same specificity with which they address male sexuality. It may not be the authors' intent, but what results is an imbalance in the authors' counsel. Although not targeted to my tribe, Laurie Watson's book provides what is missing in my corner of the world.
Yet, in saying that the author addresses female sexuality with specificity, I worry that I do the book a disservice. Husbands are not ignored. Far from it! Throughout, the book sounds a beautiful call to mutuality and eroticism. The preferences of each spouse are understood and balanced. In fact, in each of the vignettes, the ability of the author to advocate for both spouses is a hallmark of the book and a testimony to the depth of her understanding, maturity, and compassion.
To make her points, Laurie Watson draws on 20 years of experience as a sex therapist. The result is a book that is a superb example of narrative nonfiction writing. The caliber of her writing compares favorably to that of best-selling narrative nonfiction titles such as The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks. The narrative will grab you, and the information supporting the narrative will empower you. Laurie Watson is gifted and knowledgeable. Over and over again, she writes about complex, emotionally charged sexual issues with depth, sensitivity, and clarity.
Thank you, Laurie Watson, for the gift of this book!
P.S. If you are a conservative Christian, you'll find that Laurie Watson holds some views that aren't consistent with your beliefs. So, there will be a paragraph here or there that may ruffle your feathers. But, those paragraphs aren't central to the book's thesis. So, please, don't let that dissuade you from reading this beautiful and practical tribute to all that is and can be.