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Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland Paperback – October 5, 2009
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From the Inside Flap
"Easily the craziest, weirdest, strangest, funniest, most obscene writer in America." -- GOTHIC MAGAZINE
"Carlton is an acquired taste, but he hooks you like a drug." --HUNTER SHEA, author of Forest of Shadows
"The most original novelist working today? The most outrageous? The most unpredictable? These aren't easy superlatives to make; however, Carlton Mellick may well be all of those things, behind a canon of books that all irreverently depart from the form and concepts of traditional novels, and adventure the reader into a howling, dark fantasyland of the most bizarre, over-the-top, and mind-warping inventiveness." --EDWARD LEE, author of Header
"Carlton Mellick III is a genius with an insanely beautiful imagination." --JOE AUGUSTYN, writer of Night of the Demons
"Carlton Mellick III has the craziest book titles... and the kinkiest fans!" --CHRISTOPHER MOORE, author of The Stupidest Angel
"If you haven't read Mellick you're not nearly perverse enough for the twenty first century." --JACK KETCHUM, author of The Woman and The Girl Next Door
"Carlton Mellick III is one of bizarro fiction's most talented practitioners, a virtuoso of the surreal, science fictional tale." --CORY DOCTOROW, author of Little Brother
"Mellick's career is impressive because, despite the fact that he puts out a few books a year, he has managed to bring something new to the table every time... Every Mellick novel is packed with more wildly original concepts than you could find in the current top ten New York Times bestsellers put together." --VERBICIDE
"Mellick's guerrilla incursions combine total geekboy fandom and love with genuine, unbridled outsider madness. As such, it borders on genius, in the way only true outsider art can." --FANGORIA
"Bizarre, twisted, and emotionally raw--Carlton Mellick's fiction is the literary equivalent of putting your brain in a blender." --BRIAN KEENE, author of The Rising and Dead Sea
"I'm a huuuuge Bizarro fan. This new strain of cheerfully transgressive weird fiction is to me the most vibrant, exciting, genre-mangling scene in all of strange literature today. And no one holds dominion over this blossoming underground phenomenon like the godfather of Bizarro, Carlton Mellick III. With the most impressive sideburns in imaginative lit since Isaac Asimov, and a brain that squirts out more shamelessly playful originality in any given chapter than most artists will accomplish in their entire lives, he's the poster boy. The Elvis. As well he should be." --JOHN SKIPP, co-author of The Bridge
"It's not unusual to blow through a Mellick book in one sitting. They're fast-paced with an endless number of surprises, making it tough not to keep turning pages. When the end comes, I'm left with that done-too-soon feeling that I always love experiencing." --RAZORCAKE
"A wormhole of disturbing surrealism and absurd satire." --VICE MAGAZINE
"Carlton Mellick III exemplifies the intelligence and wit that lurks between its lurid covers. In a genre where crude titles are an art in themselves, Mellick is a true artist." --THE GUARDIAN
"His fiction blends bizarre scenarios mixed with horror, action, and even more bizarre actions to create fiction that toes the line between the absurd and the dark places of the mind... Shocking yet entertaining" --THE EXAMINER
"I imagine Mellick as a Willy Wonka-type character, someone with personal access to another world, a world of his own creation, but due to its mind-bending energy, he's lost control of it, and it continues to thrive even without him there to pull the strings. And I like the idea of that." --BOOKIE MONSTER
"The imp of the perverse." --3AM MAGAZINE
"Just as Pop had Andy Warhol and Dada Tristan Tzara, the Bizarro movement has its very own P. T. Barnum-type practitioner. He's the mutton-chopped author of such books as Electric Jesus Corpse and The Menstruating Mall, the illustrator, editor, and instructor of all things Bizarro, and his name is Carlton Mellick III." --DETAILS MAGAZINE
"Discussing Bizarro literature without mentioning Mellick is like discussing weird-ass muttonchopped authors without mentioning Mellick." --CRACKED.COM
Top customer reviews
Every time I open one of Carlton Mellick III's books it's like - well, like opening a Carlton Mellick III book.
He manages to combine the weirdest stuff, mixes it up with a fist full of razor blade ice cream, some kerosene and a gallon of pig blood.
And, folks, what comes out of the blast furnace of his mind is something to see.
I think this may be the fourth of his books I've read and it just now clicked with me. For all the weirdness, his books seem like they always leave me feeling lighter than when I started. His writing is the oddest, over-the-top thing I've ever seen. And yet, when all is said and done, underneath the blood and squishy bits the story is about good, decent human beings.
But beware, because the blood and squishy bits? That's neck deep and rising.
Just looking at the title of this book makes me want to read it, then when you add in the fantastic cover art it makes you very curious about how Carlton is going to pull this off with his usual style and vulgar hyper-violence. Well after reading this book you will have no doubts about his ability to do so.
This is one of those books where you look at it and you think all right I already know what is going to happen just looking at it.
You are wrong.
This book was in fact about a post-apoc world where McDonalds has taken over and everyone in the huge city of McDonaldLand works for them. That was odd enough right off the bat for you to seriously wonder how this was going to tie into the Warrior Wolf Women in question... trust me it does.
Very much so.
Daniel Togg, has a problem he works at McDonalds like everyone else but he has mutated, which is frowned upon to say the least. He is the main character of our story and he is truly well intentioned and honestly does what he believes, not what he believes others want him to do. Which if you are honest with yourself not alot of people can brag about at all.
Daniel has an older brother, Guy... Guy is a Fry Guy, the police of McDonaldland, he is also a complete dick. Well at first anyhow. He grows a bit as the story goes along and he realizes that his utterly black and white world is truly filled with the grey mists of obscurity and after a while he turns it around a tiny bit and almost redeems himself. At first however you truly wonder how long Carlton is going to let him live and you make bets with yourself as the book moves along about when he is going to die.
I liked this character very much, every book needs someone who you at first feel strongly opposed to but whom after a bit you grow to understand a bit better and realize he is honestly just a victim of his environment and of his own ego and isnt what he seemed at all.
Krall however is almost exactly what he seems, he is an agent for the research dept of McDonaldland and he has stumbled across the embarrassing truths that McDonalds doesnt want people to know about. So when his mutations are discovered he is booted out into the wasteland. This guy is a very cool character and his arc is odd to say the least. I did not expect a guy like this after alot of the other things that had happened leading up to this part but this just once more proves the old fact that you can try to guess where a story is going to go but with Carlton Mellick, you will be wrong.
I was wrong.
This character ended up so much different than I thought at first and I am very glad that he was in there because he explained a few things that I was wondering about as we went along as well.
One of the most selfish, vain, stupid, bigoted, awful people you will likely ever read about. Honestly from about ten seconds after we first meet this girl I wondered when she was going to die. I hoped she would die soon. But... she kept on living... I wanted her to die eventually so much that I got mad at her continued survival. In my mind you see she was clearly painted with the too-over-the-top-to-live brush... and yet she persistently kept on not dying. Also once more in the end you begin to understand that she isn't as over the top as you thought and you begin to understand that you were simply not thinking big enough, she is so much worse than you ever thought and yet finally at the very end you find out that without her this book would never ever have worked. Seriously I really liked this character, well at first I loved to hate her but right at the end she pulls off something that I would never have accepted until then that made me like her just enough for me to not be eternally pissed that she didnt die any of the 175,000 times I wished her dead throughout this book.
Then there is Nova. Nova is very misunderstood right from the beginning and you truly hope a few things will work out with her but Carlton sticks to his guns on this one and you eventually realize that he was right she has to be this way for this story to work. She is at first the love interest that Daniel has been pining for since he was a young man. However like most things in life it doesn't work out quite the way our hero thinks or even hopes it will. In the end I am sure that like me you will appreciate where he takes this character but there is a little bit in there where you wonder how this woman can be so cruel and distant yet have obvious regrets about it herself.
This book was an adventure and a very well wrought story it truly makes me want to sit down and write a huge story based on this world that popped into my head while reading it but sadly I don't know Carlton well enough to ever get the balls up to ask him. However someday I do hope to meet him so I can simply shake his hand and thank him for his many wonderful books and most especially this one.
Thank you Carlton, I loved it.
T. Patrick Rooney, Author of Bakemono...
The main character, Daniel Togg, is a four-armed mutant male who is ejected from McDonaldland and captured by the warrior wolf women, who were also outcasts from the city. Through Daniel, we get to explore the inner workings of McDonaldland, the wolf tribe, and the outcasted mutant men, who have also banded together. He has incredible insight and a unique perspective that makes him the perfect narrator.
This book is a brilliant fun read. All of the characters are liked or disliked as they're meant to be, and some even gave me the creeps. It's simultaneously about oppression, suppression, corruption, segregation, sexual liberty, and overcoming differences to fight a common enemy. It is a completely well-rounded story with everything connected and no holes remaining. The main characters all go through hardships and changes that lead them to come out the other end with a completely new view.
There is lots of sex and violence, but also plenty of emotion. There are few to no moments that feel too slow or awkward, and the pacing seems just right. It's a great book that is really easy to get through. Once you pick it up, you'll be reluctant to stop until the end.
Most recent customer reviews
why do I now want to read the rest of what this guy writes?Read more