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I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One Paperback – May 1, 2008

4.6 out of 5 stars 350 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"I highly recommend this book, not only to the bereaved, but to the friends and counselors as well." ---Helen Fitzgerald, author of The Grieving Child --This text refers to the MP3 CD edition.

About the Author

Pamela D. Blair, Ph.D. is a psychotherapist and pastoral counselor in private practice in Hawthorne, New York. Brook Noel is a CEO, author, speaker and mom. She has been featured in hundreds of shows and magazines, including ABC World News, CNN Headline News and Fox & Friends. She is the author of The Change Your Life Challenge and several other books.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 292 pages
  • Publisher: Sourcebooks; Updated edition (May 1, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1402212216
  • ISBN-13: 978-1402212215
  • Product Dimensions: 0.5 x 5.8 x 8.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (350 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #4,140 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I've been a widower for two years. Over this time, I've read many books on grief. This is the best I've seen. It does a comprehensive job of touching on the many types of loss, and offers helpful suggestions for coping. Something I particularly liked was that it doesn't rely on religious platitudes as a solution for grief. Rather, the authors encourage you to vent your anger at your creater - he (or she) is big enough and compassionate enough to take it.

I would suggest this book to anyone who is dealing with grief. It doesn matter whether the loss just occurred, or is several years old.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I lost my husband to suicide, and this book was my very best friend . Very easy to understand, and have read it several times
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Buy this book now. One day, you or someone you love deeply will need it. By giving the book to someone who needs it, you will be able to help them when they need it most. By owning the book yourself, you will be able to anticipate the needs of the freshly bereaved. I will be giving this book frequently. This book came a year after my loved one's death, and it was still a huge help. It's a breath of fresh air in the grief genre. How I wish I'd had it when I was going through the first weeks and months. Even this far out, it has helped me immeasurably. I have lost most of my family in the last 20 years. I lost my spouse last year.
PLEASE. Get and read this book, and give copies to the newly bereaved. They will thank you, no, BLESS you for it.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I've struggled for months with what appeared to be a mid-life crisis. In researching how to get through it, I tracked the source down to delayed grief. I lost my brother in 1995 and my dad in 2000 in very similar auto accidents. I don't think I ever grieved them properly and it surfaced in my forties. This book is one of the ones I found to address my particular situation.

This is a well written guidebook to carry anyone through the experience of losing a close loved one suddenly. It contains sections dealing with specific losses such as: a spouse or partner, a sibling, suicide, mass death (such as terrorism), fallen heroes, and others. Each section is thoughtful and helpful. It also has a wonderful portion of the book carrying the reader step by step through the immediate aftermath of sudden death. The back couple chapters are dealing with additional resources and activities to help with grief work.

The authors of this book have both dealt with sudden death themselves. Part of what I found most useful was reading the sections they wrote about their personal situations. I'm still working on the back exercises. I think that will take a while. I wish I'd had this book in 1995 when I lost my brother. Even though my grief was delayed by decades, I am still finding it helpful. Grief is a very individual experience that nobody except the person inside your head will ever understand. These authors have written a resource to help you find your way through that deep, dark forest into the light again. I recommend it to anyone who's experienced a sudden death. I'll keep my copy when I'm finished to hand on to the first person I know who needs it. It helps.
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Thank you so much for a wonderful book. I wish I had found out about this title sooner into my grieving process. 10months ago I lost my best friend, husband, and a wonderful man from Cancer. I have felt like at times that I am going quite mad during the process of grief and to read this book has been a godsend to me. I know now that it is not me going mad but all part of the grieving process. It has allowed me to release a lot of pain and hurt that has been forwarded by "well meaning" friends and relatives. I now more understand how the mind works during this time and it is OK to feel just the way I am. I am not mad, I am not going crazy, I am not putting too many demands on myself or those around me. It is all normal and I am allowed to take my time during the process. Thank you for your words of wisdom and compassion. I would recommend this book to everyone, wether you are grieving or not. One day you may need it for yourself or someone close to you.

Sharon Clark. Melbourne Australia.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
After five years having passed since the tragic sudden death of my son, the pain is with our family everyday. It does not get better, it just changes. We have read many books, and attended several grieving groups, with mixed results. Although we have survived the first year, we continue to be told that we have "excessive grief" and have been been told that we need to "get over it and move on". Those of us who suffered this tragedy live in a different world and always will. This is one of the few books that absolutely "gets it".
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Format: Paperback
Everyone experiencing the sudden death of a loved one needs to get this book. When I lost my husband of 15 years to sudden cardiac arrest, I had no idea what to do or what was to come. This book helps you every step of the way. It also helps the people close to you to know what to do and what not to do to help you. I wish I had found this book right after my husband died but unfortunately I didn't even know it existed. I came accross this book several months after he died. After reading several chapters I realized Yes, that is how I feel or Ok, so I'm not crazy. It helped me recognize that all of the physical as well as emotional things I was feeling and going through were perfectly normal in this situation. It also helps you recognize if you need to seek professional counseling. Whether you have just experienced the death recently or a while ago, this book will help you wherever you are in your journey to healing.
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