- Paperback: 196 pages
- Publisher: Image Books, Doubleday; Underlining edition (June 1, 1995)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 038524939X
- ISBN-13: 978-0385249393
- Product Dimensions: 3.5 x 0.4 x 5 inches
- Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 279 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #18,185 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number.
The Way to Love: The Last Meditations of Anthony de Mello (Image Pocket Classics) Paperback – June 1, 1995
This month's Book With Buzz: "The Lying Game" by Ruth Ware
From the instant New York Times bestselling author of blockbuster thrillers "In a Dark, Dark Wood" and "The Woman in Cabin 10" comes Ruth Ware’s chilling new novel, "The Lying Game." See more
Frequently bought together
Customers who bought this item also bought
From the Publisher
The Way To Love contains the final flowering of Anthony de Mello's thought, and in it he grapples with the ultimate question of love. In thirty-one meditations, he implores his readers with his usual pithiness to break through illusion, the great obstacle to love. "Love springs from awareness," de Mello insists, saying that it is only when we see others as they are that we can begin to really love. But not only must we seek to see others with clarity, we must examine ourselves without misconception. The task, however, is not easy. "The most painful act," de Mello says, "is the act of seeing. But in that act of seeing that love is born." Anthony De Mello was the director of the Sadhana Institute of Pastoral Counseling in Poona, India, and authored several books. The Way To Love is his last.
From the Inside Flap
"The Way To Love contains the final flowering of Anthony de Mello's thought, and in it he grapples with the ultimate question of love. In thirty-one meditations, he implores his readers with his usual pithiness to break through illusion, the great obstacle to love. "Love springs from awareness," de Mello insists, saying that it is only when we see others as they are that we can begin to really love. But not only must we seek to see others with clarity, we must examine ourselves without misconception. The task, however, is not easy. "The most painful act," de Mello says, "is the act of seeing. But in that act of seeing that love is born." Anthony De Mello was the director of the Sadhana Institute of Pastoral Counseling in Poona, India, and authored several books. "The Way To Love is his last.
Top customer reviews
I myself have not had the kind of mystic experiences that Tony had. As a result of his mystic experiences, he came to a new understanding of certain passages in the Christian gospels. He elucidates each gospel passage in light of the new understanding that his mystic experiences enabled him to have. Even though I have not had the kind of mystic experiences that he had, his elucidations of the selected passages make sense to me.
One of the key terms that Tony uses in his elucidations is attachments. As he sees attachments, they usually involve thrills and excitement and pleasure.
Digression: Because Tony was a Jesuit priest, he was trained in Jesuit spirituality (also known as Ignatian spirituality, the spiritual orientation based on the work of the founder of the Jesuit order, St. Ignatius Loyola). Jesuit spirituality built on and encourages a certain kind of detachment, as do certain other spiritual traditions. So Tony's reflections about attachments come out of a spiritual tradition that encourages a certain kind of detachment. Not surprisingly, Tony also encourages a certain kind of detachment.
I myself find it tricky to write about attachments and a certain kind of detachment. Tony does his best to write about attachments as clearly as he can. However, at times, his comments about attachments seem like verbal gymnastics. But I am not sure that I have figured out how to avoid his verbal gymnastics.
As Tony operationally defines attachments, they are not healthy.
But what would he call the healthy way to be?
According to Tony, the healthy way to be would be to be without attachments, because by definition attachments are not healthy. Nevertheless, he does not use the root word of "attachments" to suggest a name for the alternate healthy way to be. For example, he does not use the terms non-attachment or detachment to characterize the healthy way to be.
Instead, he uses the term "love" to characterize the healthy way to be. So according to Tony, when we experience love as the healthy way to be, then we are free of attachments.
In this way, he uses the term "love" to name and explain the mystic experience in the present moment.
I should mention that the Canadian Jesuit philosopher and theologian Bernard Lonergan (1904-1984) formulated five transcendental precepts for people to follow that are 100% compatible with Tony's basic advice about love unencumbered by baggage, as he puts it:
(1) Be Attentive.
(2) Be Intelligent.
(3) Be Reasonable.
(4) Be Responsible.
(5) Be in Love.
Lonergan's American Jesuit follower Robert M. Doran extensively discusses the dissolving of images that block cognition, which in effect is what Tony refers to as baggage, the kind of stuff that encumbers us and that we need to be free from in order to love.
Even though the central thrust of Tony's book is to advocate mystic awareness ("the unaware life is not worth living"), he also advocates clear thinking. He says that "what clear thinking calls for is not intelligence - that is easily come by - but the courage that has successfully coped with fear and with desire, for the moment you desire something or fear something, your heart will consciously or unconsciously get in the way of your thinking" (page 141).
So to engage in clear thinking, we need "a heart that divests itself of its programming and its self-interest each time that thinking is in progress; a heart that has nothing to protect and owes nothing to ambition and therefore leaves the mind to roam unfettered, fearless and free, in search of truth; a heart that is ever ready to accept new evidence and to change its views" (page 141).
As short as Tony's book THE WAY TO LOVE is, it is chock full of food for thought.
P.S. Nowhere in the text of THE WAY TO LOVE is Tony's indebtedness to the thought of Jiddu Krishnamurti (1895-1986), who was also from India, mentioned. From the retreat that Tony gave in July 1980 in Denver that I attended, I know that he was deeply impressed with Krishnamurti's thought. See, for example, Krishnamurti's book THINK ON THESE THINGS (orig. 1964; reissued Harper Perennial Library, 1989).
The book THE WAY TO LOVE, has been another step towards embracing this way of BEING, loving, and at times I needed to put this book aside to digest - assimilate the very difficult and almost unattainable way of LOVING described by the very articulate, serene Anthony De Mello.
In simple terms it is the way to LOVE unselfishly, to love a person even if you are not with the person.....until now, this simple sentence or statement has been only theory in my being, until now, I have almost been afraid to imagine loving when a loved one is happy in another place, separated by death, divorce, the violent unavoidable changes of life that we simply cannot control.
It is a far cry from the modern rhetoric of suggested SECRETS which only moves individuals closer to the belief that YOU CAN CONTROL ALL, HAVE POWER OVER OTHERS through a certain mental process. It is an acknowledgement that we can control some parts of life, but there are some areas which is not within our control and when this time comes.
When change happens it is bound to be violent to the spirit, mind, emotions and being of self. However, the agreement with life and with our God to accept the change, and to embrace, and than finally to continue to love without abdicating from life, without embarking on angry and bitter roads and certainly without the NEED TO CONTROL when life takes a curve away from our fantastical dream of HAPPINESS.
The rewards - a simple place of SERENITY, and PEACE and a life feeling less afraid TO fear the next moment.
not an occassion, not a joyful memory but alas A STATE OF BEING.
Will I achieve this state of being? I don't know - I hope to - but for now, I am blessed to have been privy to a man who in his simplicity strive to unpack what others have complicated for years.
It is not a book I will read as a once off. I will keep this on my kindle (on my shelves) and revert back, knowing without a doubt that everytime the words - the thoughts - the love, will teach me new ways to love.
Most recent customer reviews
It joyfully outlines the difference between attachment (romantic love) and authentic Love
The teachings apply to every...Read more