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The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire (20th Anniversary Edition) Paperback – February 1, 2017
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Though much has changed in society since the first publication of The Way of the Superior Man, men of all ages still "tussle with the challenges of women, work, and sexual desire." Including an all-new preface by author David Deida, this 20th-anniversary edition of the classic guide to male spirituality offers the next generation the opportunity to cultivate trust in the moment and put forth the best versions of themselves in an ever-changing world.
In The Way of the Superior Man, Deida explores the most important issues in men’s lives―from career and family to women and intimacy to love and spirituality―to offer a practical guidebook for living a masculine life of integrity, authenticity, and freedom. Join this bestselling author and internationally renowned expert on sexual spirituality for straightforward advice, empowering skills, body practices, and more to help you realize a life of fulfillment, immediately and without compromise.
- Print length224 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherSounds True
- Publication dateFebruary 1, 2017
- Dimensions6.05 x 1 x 9 inches
- ISBN-101622038320
- ISBN-13978-1622038329
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- Stop waiting. Feel everything. Love achingly. Give impeccably. Let go.Highlighted by 3,801 Kindle readers
Editorial Reviews
Review
“The Way of the Superior Man lays out a challenge before all men to fulfill their true purpose and to be authentically masculine. It will guide you on your journey to a successful and spiritually complete way of life. Step up to the plate with this book in your hand.” ―Tony Robbins, author of Awaken the Giant Within and Unlimited Power
“David Deida must have the biggest balls in contemporary spirituality.” ―Vijay Rana, Watkins Mind Body Spirit
“As a woman, I’ve never felt so understood and validated.” ―Marci Shimoff, coauthor of Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul
“The openness, the love! What lively new language David Deida finds for the unsayable!” ―Coleman Barks, author of The Essential Rumi
“Every once in a while, someone comes along whose work is clearly a next step. Their ideas seem to answer some collective question hanging out in the culture. Their books and seminars become an underground buzz and, within a period of time, their ideas become part of our cultural vernacular. David Deida is such a person. In a time not too far off from now, his ideas will have spread like wildfire.” ―Marianne Williamson, author of A Return to Love
“Finally, a guide for the non-castrated male. This book will offend and infuriate some, inspire and test others, but challenge virtually everybody. Few are the books that discuss strong sexuality within strong spirituality. Love it or loathe it, it is a shout from the heart of one perspective of the eternal masculine.” ―Ken Wilber, author of Sex, Ecology, Spirituality; No Boundary; and Grace and Grit
“There are few categories I know of for an original like David Deida; for his teachings there is no pigeonhole. He is a bridge-builder between East and West, between ancient and modern wisdom traditions. David is in the dynamic living oral tradition of maverick spiritual teachers who, like free-jazz musicians, can riff directly on Reality, outside of established forms. Mark my words: in a future that I hope is not too far off, David Deida’s original western Dharma will be widely known as one of the most sublime and accessible expressions of the essence of spiritual practice that is freely offered today.” ―Lama Surya Das, author of Awakening the Buddha Within
“David Deida’s work reveals a depth of loving the human condition and understanding its immanent spirituality I’ve seldom seen, even in a glimmer. It’s hard for me to find words with which to express my appreciation and admiration for this unique gift.” ―Jenny Wade, PhD, author of Changes of Mind
“David Deida brings spirituality down from the clouds and back into our bodies where it belongs. His no-nonsense approach to refining our spiritual sensibilities comes as a welcome intervention to both New Age and conservative trends in contemporary spirituality. Deida helps us to get REAL in a world where reality is an increasingly rare commodity.” ―Mariana Caplan, author of Halfway Up the Mountain: The Error of Premature Claims to Enlightenment
“I feel that Deida has reached a new level of poetic genius in his writing, and his understanding of feminine psychology astounds me.” ―Miranda Shaw, PhD, author of Passionate Enlightenment: Women in Tantric Buddhism
“The Way of the Superior Man is a bold and challenging and very perceptive book. The cutting-edge masculinity of these pages is sexually strong and spiritually clear . . . Deida challenges and instructs men to live on their edge, to go forth uncompromisingly in search of their own deepest truths and greatest purpose. He pulls no punches and brooks no weakness.” ―NAPRA Review
“With uncommon honesty and unparalleled insight into the deepest desires of the masculine heart, Deida explores the most challenging and important issues in men’s lives. Covering everything from work and career, to dealing with sex, women, and love, to finding purpose in an increasingly superficial and mechanical world, The Way of the Superior Man reveals how a man can live a life of fulfillment without compromise by relaxing into the truth of his very being, discovering his deepest vision, and giving his gifts without holding anything back. What emerges is a wholly revolutionary look at what it means to be a man in today’s world as well as an astonishingly practical guidebook to living a masculine life of integrity, authenticity, and freedom.” ―The Midwest Book Review, Reviewer’s Choice
About the Author
Product details
- Publisher : Sounds True; Reprint edition (February 1, 2017)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 224 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1622038320
- ISBN-13 : 978-1622038329
- Item Weight : 12 ounces
- Dimensions : 6.05 x 1 x 9 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #477 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #1 in Men's Gender Studies
- #9 in Love & Romance (Books)
- #53 in Personal Transformation Self-Help
- Customer Reviews:
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About the author

Acknowledged as one of the most insightful and provocative teachers of our time, bestselling author David Deida continues to revolutionize the way that men and women grow spiritually and sexually. His ten books are published in more than twenty-five languages worldwide and are required reading in university, church, and spiritual center courses. His workshops on a radically practical spirituality have been hailed as among the most original and authentic contributions to the field of self-development currently available. Deida is included in the Watkins Review Spiritual 100 List, designating the most spiritually influential people worldwide. He is a founding member of Integral Institute, and has taught and conducted research at the University of California-San Diego School of Medicine, University of California-Santa Cruz, San Jose State University, Lexington Institute in Boston, and Ecole Polytechnique in Paris, France. Some of his recent books include Blue Truth, The Enlightened Sex Manual, and the 20th Anniversary Edition of the international bestseller, The Way of the Superior Man.
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Deida's work resides entirely within the concepts of polarity and energetics. These are things that are currently unmeasurable by scientific instruments, just as DNA and subatomic particles were not so long ago. If you are looking for clear cut scientific "facts" on the subject of men and women, then look elsewhere because you won't find them here. Deida's work is based on truths that you won't find in science for years to come, but if you do not require "scientific facts", and you are simply wise enough to look and feel inside yourself for what is true and what is not, Deida speaks more truth on the subject of men and women, relationships, polarity and love than any sect of Tantra, Yoga or any individual doctor, sex therapist, or pick up artist out there.
When Deida talks about the feminine and masculine, he is purely talking about energy, NOT the physical body of a man or woman. The masculine energy is defined by traits, the feminine energy is defined by traits, and the polarity between the two creates a balance in which the entire universe sympathetically operates.
If the Big Bang is the purest form of the feminine essence, than gravity, dark matter, dark energy, and black holes would be the purest form of the masculine essence. This relationship, the ying and the yang, the duality of the universe, has been present from the beginning of time, and is found in everything, especially within ourselves and our partners. Deida's work is to define these polarities so a man and a woman can simply recognize them for what they are and work with them as they wish. His work does provide solutions to create a definitive balance between the two, and these solutions are simply tools to keep your relationship absolutely delicious.
Being a man myself, I was initially resentful of the fact that in Deida's eyes, men are required to do all of the "work" in the relationship, while the woman expand into chaos. But when you truly understand the work and the teachings Deida is talking about, it becomes apparent that the woman's role in being absolutely vulnerable, carefree, and not defaulting to their own masculine mind due to a lack of trust in their man is equally as hard, if not harder than what the masculine is required to do.
A woman can easily assume the role of the masculine energy, while the man assumes the feminine. It's actually very common in Western Culture today. As long as the polarity exists, the relationship will always be delicious, despite the ups and downs; it just requires hard work and daily practice from both partners to achieve it.
My girlfriend and I have been practicing Deida's work for a year. It's insane. The ability to literally recreate the feeling of having taken ecstasy simply by engaging your partner is well worth the discipline, or maintain full body orgasms for 30 minutes, 4 times a day isn't bad either.
And what does it all add up to? Well, nothing. It's simply all for the sake of creating art through love while we're here. It's to be of service to others, to give our greatest gift, to experience love on a level very few people in their entire life will ever experience, and to die. There are no secrets to life buried in this book. You practice and serve your relationship, simply to experience love like it has never been experienced before.
This book is not a quick fix. You don't just read it and have all the answers. Honestly, if you read this book and try to apply some of the advice given, you will probably apply it incorrectly and it won't work because you will be missing the energetics involved. There is a teaching that needs to coincide with these words, that unless you seek those teachings and put them into practice, you won't find all that much value here besides an interesting read and possibly a doorway into a new kind of life style.
This path is a hard one, but it is real and it is powerful. Women will find themselves insanely attracted to you and often times, might not entirely know why. It usually starts with men breathing properly, standing properly, and keeping their mouths shut.
If you're willing to learn and actually apply the concepts in this book, and seek out the teachings that go with it, you will find fulfillment in your life and your relationship that transcends everything.
Since getting involved in Deida's work, my girlfriend and I have dedicated every waking moment to it, and we have not looked back since.
Top reviews from other countries

Personally I would have found a slimmer book of the more sane and insightful parts of the text to have been more useful.

Although a bit wishy-washy and overly spiritual, all the chapters give a lot of good insight and information. Each piece of advice is timeless, once approached with a little critical thought, and the overall message in this book is a good one to have.
My only real criticism of the book is the broad generalisation of love. Love is used in a too broad way, sweeping all terms such as excellence, lust, greatness and love as well as one big word to be used to describe any positive action a Superior Man takes. Its not an inaccurate term, so to say, but it can be far to vague to describe some concepts in the book, which could leave some men a little confused if they don't or can't approach the content with a little interpretation of their own.
Regardless, this a great Masculine Self Help book that you can throw at any guy and still get a good outcome. And if they say you're a misogynist for giving them this, well then there's no hope for that castrate.

The whole book is this one guy just giving his sweeping claims and opinions (and he has a lot of them) and presenting them as fact without substantiating them in any way. Throw in a truckload of assumptions and you’re pretty much on the way.
To be fair, he does issue out a whole load of disclaimers at the beginning, and in my case (as someone who doesn’t want to get into a relationship) this book he says is not suitable. However if I was interested in a relationship I’d still find this book, and the audio presentation really, really annoying. He also gives out some really good advice such as “don’t wait for the perfect time to pursue your passion: start now”. And even that nugget is arguably worth the value of the book. But on the whole I wish I had spent my money on an audiobook that was enjoyable, instead of one that was profoundly irritating to listen to.


Dass dieses Buch so gehyped wird, kann ich nicht verstehen. Auch hier (wie bei Rüdiger Dahlkes Buch „Wie Sex und Liebe zueinander finden“) liegt wieder der Verdacht nahe, jemand möchte seine eigenen Irrwege im Leben rechtfertigen und damit noch ein bisschen Geld verdienen. Ein „Ich habe viel Mist gebaut und habe noch einen weiten Weg vor mir“ wäre erfrischend männlicher, als diese wishy washy Spiritualität, bei der alles und nichts einen Sinn hat.
Zwei Sterne dafür, dass seine Aussagen teilweise allgemeine Gültigkeit haben und schön poetisch verpackt wurden.
Für die Polaritätsthematik empfehle ich alternativ Raphael Bonellis „Frauen brauchen Männer - und umgekehrt“. Da lernt man(n) und Frau klare Fakten über Männlichkeit und Weiblichkeit, die einen die eigene Beziehungsdynamik besser verstehen lassen.