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The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire Paperback – October 1, 2004

4.2 out of 5 stars 759 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 207 pages
  • Publisher: Sounds True; 1St Edition edition (2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1591792576
  • ISBN-13: 978-1591792574
  • Product Dimensions: 0.5 x 6 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.5 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (759 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #3,169 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
First of all, if I wasn't already familiar with the good ideas in this book, I would have summarily dismissed the whole thing as feel-good spiritual nonsense. Deida's writing looks like mine when I just start writing what I feel without really trying to make any logical sense. The effect on me while reading was that even though I knew in my head that the words were gibberish, I knew exactly what he was trying to say and which important concepts he was trying to impart. It was an odd experience.

The good:
- Not only does the book start from the premise that there IS a desirable middle ground between being a timid wuss of a man-boy and being a knuckle-dragging, chauvinistic thug; the whole book attempts to be a manual on how to become that middle ground. I would say it's even a good start at succeeding.
- Emphasis on living in pursuit of your own purpose. Not your dad's, not your girlfriend's, not that of disembodied pop culture. Yours.
- The fundamental principle of giving to the world instead of taking.
- The focus on rooting out insecurity.
- The discussions about fundamental differences between masculine and feminine. If you take away nothing other than the realization that there are in fact big differences, the book is worth the read.
- Discussions on things like ego death, living consciously, and the notion of "emptiness." These are basically repackaged Buddhist and samurai concepts. They aren't new, but they are important.

The bad:
- If I read the words "truth" or "love" one more time I thought I might try to reach through my Kindle and choke the author. I disagree with the top positive reviewer: the writing got repetitive VERY quickly.
- The spiritual slant of the writing probably alienates a lot of readers, including me.
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Format: Kindle Edition
I heard a few friends mention this book and I was curious to read it. I was initially looking for a book on the Divine Masculine and Feminine and I stumbled upon this one. My background? I'm a psychologist and I've read tons of books on relationships between men and women. Mind you, I read the first half of the book (till part 5) because right then I knew this book wasn't for me.

Here's what I agree with the author :
-Yes, find your purpose in life and use your force for the greater good.
-Master your own strength, your foibles, your dark side.
-Don't make your woman your priority, make your own purpose your priority. Men also are not attracted to women who LIVE for THEM. Having priorities in life other that your relationship is healthy, it will benefit both you and your relationship.
-Don't force the feminine to make decisions. The feminine sees all sides of an issue, and if you're like me, you'd be happy to have some guidance and direction. But this is only true when it comes to everyday decisions : where to go, what to eat, what to do on your spare time. I couldn't care less about those things, as long as I'm with my partner and I feel safe that he has my best interests at heart (and lets say, he's not gonna force me to eat a snake or jump from a helicopter), I'm gonna be fine with whatever he decides.
-Don't be afraid of letting out your inner caveman. Although this is a tricky one. Only when I feel safe and I know that my partner truly loves me and respects my boundaries, I can enjoy surrendering to his powerful sexual prowess.
-Take care of stuff and don't expect her to take care of things for you. This one is pretty obvious for both male and female. Don't you love when someone else takes care of things for you, so that you can relax and enjoy?
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Format: Paperback
I first saw this book on my husband's bookshelf before we were married, and I borrowed and read it. My thoughts at the time: Wow, if this man really believes and lives the principles in this book, he is the one for me! Four years of married bliss and a 3-year-old child later, I still think this. David Deida's basic premise: there is a "Way of the Superior Man" that both includes and transcends the "tough" concept of masculinity of our ancestors, and the "sensitive man" concept of more recent years, that frees a man to be both powerful and purposeful, and also feeling and spiritually alive. This has profound effects in all areas of a man's life from work to sex to relationships with women. I can attest to the value of this premise from my husband's success in his career, our marriage/sexual relationship, and as a father and a spiritual being. Being a superior man is not necessarily an easy path, but hugely rewarding. I highly recommend this book to women as well as Deida's books "Dear Lover" and "It's a Guy Thing" to better understand healthy masculine/feminine dynamics and deepen their relationships with men.

For those who feel an author must be "credentialed" (MD or PhD or whatever) to offer this type of advice, or who are looking for hard data research to back up the claims he makes, this book may disappoint. I would just encourage such readers to suspend judgement long enough to give the book a read, take what they find to ring true and useful and leave the rest. There is a lot of value here, and I have found it to be "proven" in my own experience with men and as a woman.
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