WHY does this book has so many 4 and 5-star ratings on Amazon?!?
The book started out well-- Rosemond talks about the importance of using calm, assertive language with our children when we give them directions-- not yelling or screaming. Just confidently, clearly telling them what you expect them to do. I agree with him here. He calls this "alpha language", and I think he explains it well.
But then in the third chapter, the book takes a weird turn. Rosemond does not think it is necessary to give children warnings or explanations of any kind, ever-- just go straight to punishments, and make them HARSH. He explains that "if the child has done something that you would consider a '2' on a scale of 1 to 10, then you should punish him at a level '7' to ensure he won't be tempted again."
He gives several examples to illustrate this. He describes his own son, who was blowing off his school assignments in the fifth grade. Rosemond's solution to this problem was to inform his son that he would confined to his bedroom for one month, and at the end of that month if his teachers had ANYthing negative to say about him, he would be grounded for another month. And in the meantime, no one would be helping him catch up on his schoolwork. Did he ask his son why he was skipping homework assignments? Could the boy have had a learning disability? Maybe, but Rosemond doesn't care; throughout the book he repeatedly says that ADHD and similar disorders are completely "fictitious".
Another example is a six-year-old child who wanders away from mom in the grocery store. Rosemond suggests doing or saying nothing.... until 5 days later, when the child is invited to see a movie at a friend's house. You should then tell the child "No, five days ago you wandered away from me in the store, so now you will not be allowed to go to your friend's house." Huh? How confusing for the child!
And finally, for a four-year-old girl who refuses to use the potty: Rosemond's suggestion is to lock the child in the bathroom for three days!!! Bring her meals to the bathroom, let her sleep in the bathroom, and sooner or later she'll sit on the potty. What?!?
Rosemond seems to take delight in shocking, scaring, and shaming children. In my opinion, this is completely missing the point of discipline. This is not healthy parenting, and this book is definitely not for me.
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