- Paperback: 288 pages
- Publisher: Crossway; Redesign edition (October 31, 2015)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 143354945X
- ISBN-13: 978-1433549458
- Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.7 x 9 inches
- Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 312 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #11,520 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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What Did You Expect? (Redesign): Redeeming the Realities of Marriage Paperback – October 31, 2015
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“Noel and I listened to most of this book driving in the car! Wise words. Authentic experience. Provocative application. Turned a long trip into a fruitful two-person marriage seminar.”
―John Piper, Founder and Teacher, desiringGod.org; Chancellor, Bethlehem College & Seminary; author, Desiring God
“When Paul Tripp teaches, preaches, or writes he does so through the lens of the gospel. In What Did You Expect?, Paul faithfully and brilliantly lets the gospel bear its weight on the messiness and beauty of marriage. I, personally, found the book to be helpful, and we use it extensively at The Village.”
―Matt Chandler, Lead Pastor, The Village Church, Dallas, Texas; President, Acts 29 Church Planting Network; author, The Mingling of Souls and The Explicit Gospel
“The reason What Did You Expect? is so powerful is not because Paul Tripp is a marriage expert with tips and tricks to fix your problems, it’s because his teaching is drenched in the gospel and the Word of God. This honest book will help you see yourself and your spouse in a new light as it shows you who Jesus is and how to connect his redeeming grace to the daily realities of your marriage. Singles and engaged couples will benefit from it, too.”
―Joshua Harris, Former Senior Pastor, Covenant Life Church, Gaithersburg, Maryland; author, Dug Down Deep
“At once deeply theological and practically relevant, this is one of the top books on marriage I have ever read. Paul Tripp allows readers to examine marriage through a biblical lens so that we understand how God can graciously heal our hurting homes. As a pastor, I will implore our people to read this book as soon as it is available.”
―Chris Brauns, Pastor, The Red Brick Church, Stillman Valley, Illinois; author, Unpacking Forgiveness, Bound Together, and When the Word Leads Your Pastoral Search
“What I’ve come to expect from Paul Tripp is consistently deep, transparent, biblical, wise, practical, gospel-driven counsel. Rather than muddying the water with self-focused strategies designed to meet our ever-multiplying needs, Paul, as the seasoned soul-physician he is, correctly diagnoses our problems and provides the cure―humble faith in Jesus Christ. I wasn’t disappointed. You won’t be either.”
―Elyse Fitzpatrick, author, Home: How Heaven and the New Earth Satisfy Our Deepest Longings and Because He Loves Me: How Christ Transforms Our Daily Life
“Paul Tripp brings many years of counseling, growth as a husband, and deepening discovery of the liberating power of grace to this realistic and challenging guide to God’s engagement in redeeming marriages that are threatened by complacency, misunderstanding, and selfishness. The Bible’s message of the humbling and healing power of Christ’s mercy and the powerful presence of his Spirit in our homes comes through loud and clear. The daily practicality of gospel doctrine is made crystal clear by Tripp’s transparency about his personal missteps in becoming a Christ-reflecting husband and the many examples of couples who have discovered that they are sinners married to sinners. But that the third, divine Party in marriage gives hope and change when unrealistic expectations are shattered and when we confront our sin. But be warned: Tripp’s diagnostic questions are downright uncomfortable. Even those with strong marriages by God’s grace will find their deep tendencies toward self-coronation challenged!”
―Dennis E. Johnson, Professor Emeritus of Practical Theology, Westminster Seminary California; author, Him We Proclaim; Walking with Jesus through His Word; and Journeys with Jesus
“Paul Tripp issues a challenge for couples to roll up their sleeves, get to work, and do what it takes to build a God-honoring relationship. He presents six commitments for couples to make, and contained within each is insightful, practical, and effective advice on how to construct a loving, growing, grace-soaked marriage.”
―Mary A. Kassian, Professor of Women's Studies, The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary; author, Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild
About the Author
Paul David Tripp (DMin, Westminster Theological Seminary) is a pastor, author, and international conference speaker. He is also the president of Paul Tripp Ministries. He has written a number of popular books on Christian living, including What Did You Expect?, Dangerous Calling, Parenting, and New Morning Mercies. He lives in Philadelphia with his wife Luella and they have four grown children. For more information and resources, visit paultrippministries.org.
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This book helped me to see that the biggest threat to my marriage lies within. When I insist on building up my "kingdom" rather than submitting to the just rule and plans of His kingdom, my marriage will be in trouble. But when my wife and I, instead, give up on our "kingdoms" and truly seek to participate in the building up of His kingdom, He will do an awesome work both in and through our marriage.
Buy this book. Read it WITH your spouse. Prayerfully read it with an open heart and mind and God will use this book to open your eyes to the areas where you need to be reminded of His grace.
We tried several others, but none of them really jived with who we were and the struggles we were experiencing.
The first 13 months of our marriage were really difficult, I think it was partly because we were so different, and partly because we were so sinful at heart. We ended up in a small group from a church where they were going through this book, and it changed our marriage (as cliche as that sounds).
This book deals with the heart, and how wickedly evil it can be if you're going to be really honest with yourself. It really helped us to see our weaknesses, and in light of Christ "when I am weak, then I am strong."
The stories in it are kind of cheesy and long winded at times, but I think they help get the point across.
I can't recommend it enough, and I'm going to buy it for my newly married friends (along with a fun gift).
Paul Tripp's writing style can come across condescending at times as well - it often felt that he was talking down to me. And he made many assumptions about the reader - he would say, "Now, I know what you're thinking - " and it was almost never what I was thinking. Maybe this is the way he talks to people in real life, which is probably fine with some people. But there are also those who would be rubbed the wrong way by it, and I am one of them. I worked hard to look past all of this while reading the book because I wanted to hear anything that God had to say to me. But it definitely is an element that diminishes my trust in the book's content a tad.
Overall, I think it's a great marriage primer. I love that the root of most of his advice and analyses is Jesus and Scripture. I would recommend it, but (as I would with any marriage book) I would say to use wisdom and discernment. And if you are having marriage problems, get a Biblical counselor. A book won't fix everything. Also, this does not feel like a great book for anyone who has encountered adultery, but that is just my opinion.