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What Does Everybody Else Know That I Don't?: Social Skills Help for Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder Paperback – October 1, 1999

by Michele Novotni PhD (Author), Randy Petersen (Author)
4.1 out of 5 stars 92 ratings
Focusing on social skills training for adults with attention deficit/hyperactivity disorders (AD/HD), this book offers solutions for tackling behavior that is often inattentive, impulsive, and hyperactive. Advice is given on how to handle common social problems such as manners, etiquette, communication, subtext, listening, and interpersonal relationships. The format of the book is designed for AD/HD learning styles and includes true stories, practical exercises, and tips that keep those with AD/HD reading. Adults with AD/HD learn how to identify behaviors in themselves that can cause problems in social relationships.
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  1. Print length
    314 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Specialty Press/A.D.D. Warehouse
  4. Publication date
    October 1, 1999
  5. Dimensions
    5.5 x 0.81 x 8.5 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    1886941343
  7. ISBN-13
    978-1886941342
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Editorial Reviews

Review

“Strongly recommended for adults whose attentional problems have impacted upon their ability to understand and respond to everyday social signals.”  —Richard Lavoie, host, Last One Picked . . . First One Picked On

About the Author

Michele Novotni, PhD, is a psychologist and the author of Adult ADD. She lives in Malvern, Pennsylvania. Randy Petersen lives in Westville, New Jersey.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Specialty Press/A.D.D. Warehouse; 1st edition (October 1, 1999)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 314 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1886941343
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1886941342
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.05 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.81 x 8.5 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.1 out of 5 stars 92 ratings

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  1. Michele Novotni

    Michele Novotni

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  2. Randy Petersen

    Randy Petersen

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    Randy Petersen has written more than fifty books on subjects ranging from history to relationships, psychology, sports, and even word games. Formerly an editor and writer with Christian History magazine, he also prepares curriculum for small-group Bible studies. Apart from his writing, Randy teaches public speaking at a community college, preaches occasionally at his church, and directs in area theaters. He lives in the Philadelphia area.

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Customer reviews

4.1 out of 5 stars
92 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book informative and easy to read, with one review noting it serves as an outstanding resource for hands-on learning of social skills. They appreciate how applicable the information is in different situations. However, the advice quality receives mixed feedback, with one customer describing it as basic and generic.

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22 customers mention "Informational value"22 positive0 negative

Customers find the book informative and helpful, with one customer noting it serves as an outstanding resource for hands-on learning of social skills.

"...This book has made me feel empowered. I told an ADHD friend of mine about this book and she is anxious to read it." Read more

"...Great read, very helpful, and made me feel not as alone and helpless." Read more

"...This is also a great book for dealing with employment issues...." Read more

"...useful I've found is Driven to Distraction -- an excellent choice for anyone new to the subject...." Read more

15 customers mention "Information quality"12 positive3 negative

Customers find the book provides great insights and is applicable in different situations, with one customer noting it includes helpful examples and expanded information.

"...This helped me get some answers and helped me see that I am not inept, just have a few challenges possibly because of the way my brain works...." Read more

"...to use out of this, it's greatest effect will come from simple awareness of the issue...." Read more

"...I've learned a lot of tricks on organizing, scheduling, not forgetting things etc. but I still always felt I was struggling a bit...." Read more

"...The information is so basic that nothing is likely to be new to you. For example, we are advised to listen to others and not talk too much...." Read more

9 customers mention "Clarity"9 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and understand, with one customer noting its concise language.

"...I have had difficulty articulating exactly what the author describes so well...." Read more

"...I liked the writing style...it kept my interest and was extremely interesting...." Read more

"...It's the best one I've ever seen in terms of explaining things simply and directly, like an AD/HD person needs, and it's arranged in such a way to..." Read more

"...to teens, and of course, to those afflicted with AD/HD, what a well written resource of the "do's and don'ts" of social interaction...." Read more

4 customers mention "Advice quality"0 positive4 negative

Customers find the advice in the book to be of poor quality, with one customer describing it as basic and generic.

"...A lot of the practical advice was very basic and generic, and didn't address the challenges that actually make it difficult to follow social norms." Read more

"I did not finish the book, as it was disappointing. Maybe it improves later, but I don't want to deal with it...." Read more

"...But to just stay stop it is silly and useless advice." Read more

"A complete waste of money." Read more

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Top reviews from the United States

  • JCA
    5.0 out of 5 stars Wow! From and ADHDer
    Reviewed in the United States on July 5, 2011
    Verified Purchase
    The book made me laugh and cry. It made me think back to the difficulties I had socializing as a child and made me wish someone had told me these things. Most of my family has AD/HD so there wasn't anyone to tell me what I was doing wrong socially. They all acted a lot like me. I have had to learn things the hard way as an adult.
    I bought this book because I get so anxious over social situations and my phone isn't ringing off the hook with invites from friends to hang out. It brought some habits to my attention that I didn't know were being read wrong. For example, I have a habit of just walking away when I am done taking. No, "I have to get back to work." or "I'm feeling hungry and I'm going to get some food." I'd just walk away. I was discussing this book with a non-AD/HD friend today and she said that she feels unimportant when I do that and it bugs her.
    This book has created some great discussions between my spouse and me and my friends and me. We have had some laughs over actions they didn't know I didn't realize not to do and they were just too polite to correct me. A laugh and the phrase, "You do that all the time and it irritates me.", happened frequently. I also learned that my friends and spouse thought that my AD/HD medication would fix all of that. They didn't know it is just a tool.
    The big "aha moment" for me was realizing that just because you are listening to a person doesn't mean they know you are listening. There are certain verbal and nonverbal things you need to do to let that person know you are paying attention.
    I practiced on my husband this weekend. I even caught myself doing a "blink" when I used one of the techniques and found I had missed part of the conversation. This book built up my confidence and I went out and did very well at a 4th of July bbq. No uncomfortable looks or people trying to avoid me. I still need to work on eye contact, but I am getting better.
    This book has made me feel empowered. I told an ADHD friend of mine about this book and she is anxious to read it.
    24 people found this helpful
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  • jeanine pausche
    4.0 out of 5 stars Boy did I need to read this ...
    Reviewed in the United States on May 1, 2014
    Verified Purchase
    Well, it is interesting to finally read about things that had been perplexing me for quite a while (I am 56 years old!). I knew that some of the ways that I do things was, well, "different", but had no idea that there was a reason for it!! This helped me get some answers and helped me see that I am not inept, just have a few challenges possibly because of the way my brain works. I am seriously considering going to be evaluated for ADHD. I believe my husband might deal with it and both of my children possibly do too. We have had a "time of it" in our family life and otherwise (God is good though and continues to help us every day!) I've always thought there HAD to be an explanation, that something wasn't right - even suspected our drinking water! - this is very possibly a major answer to those long-standing questions. Thanks for the encouragement to DO something about it. I'll go first ..... :-)
    7 people found this helpful
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  • person
    5.0 out of 5 stars It's like I missed a memo, revealed.
    Reviewed in the United States on March 7, 2016
    Verified Purchase
    For decades I had been jokingly saying "It's like I missed a memo in life that everyone else got". For me this book was somewhat of a revelation. I have had difficulty articulating exactly what the author describes so well. Even though there isn't a heck of a lot of tools to use out of this, it's greatest effect will come from simple awareness of the issue. Like dropping a bad habit, you have to catch yourself doing it and learn from it. Up until now I had genuinely felt that my quirks were just part of my personality, and that nothing could be done. But there's hope, and a better understanding for adults with ADHD who have difficulty.

    What I liked most about the book, is that it takes into consideration most of us ADHD folks are visual learners. Reading a text book is impossible, but applying some of the tools as examples in stories made it hit home much better for me.

    Great read, very helpful, and made me feel not as alone and helpless.
    28 people found this helpful
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  • Mama Frye
    5.0 out of 5 stars Addresses something no other ADD book does
    Reviewed in the United States on March 2, 2013
    Verified Purchase
    I am a 50 year old inattentive type ADD'er. I consider myself high functioning, I am voracious reader and try to read all I can about ADD. This book filled a big hole left by other ADD books. I've learned a lot of tricks on organizing, scheduling, not forgetting things etc. but I still always felt I was struggling a bit. I now see how I have behaviors that affect my relationships with friends and family. The relationships were still OK but I realize I annoying and off-putting I have unknowingly been! This is also a great book for dealing with employment issues. I was well regarded in my work places, my work was well reviewed but I felt I didn't get included on as many projects or get promoted. Again, I just had certain quirks that undermined my work relationships. I am reading and re-reading parts of the book to reinforce the concepts and asking my husband to point out when I unconciously lapse into annoying ADD behaviors. I wish I could have read this book at 20. There were so many things I did without knowing and don't want to do, knowing the effect on others.
    43 people found this helpful
    Helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

  • Record Store- Beaumont Mill Glen Williams, ON
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great book, taught me a lot about my son.
    Reviewed in Canada on December 31, 2014
    Verified Purchase
    Great book, taught me a lot about my son.
    Report
  • Alex Bagnall
    5.0 out of 5 stars It was written in a way i could identify with ...
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 16, 2015
    Verified Purchase
    It was written in a way i could identify with from personal experience and showed me clearly what i need to be aware of in my own actions. Things i had never considered before and documented in a straight forward way.
    As a suffer of ADHD and SCT I found it very relevant.

    Thank you for writing this.
    Report
  • Jean T.
    5.0 out of 5 stars Lovely Christmas music
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 24, 2015
    Verified Purchase
    Beautiful, gentle uncommercialised Christmas music- absolutely lovely.
    Report
  • cheryl klusacek
    5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
    Reviewed in Canada on July 16, 2015
    Verified Purchase
    excellent
    Report
  • RE MACROBERT
    2.0 out of 5 stars For this reason I feel a little sorry for her husband and son and believe she needs to expand her knowledge to understand them (
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 4, 2016
    Verified Purchase
    There is some helpful information in this book. Unfortunately the author seriously misses the mark when she discusses the sub-text of conversations. She assumes that people with ADD don't 'read' the sub-text and make social errors due to this. Speaking personally, this is the exact opposite of my experience. The sub-text is often so loud that I cannot hear the actually words spoken - the reverse of what she is saying. The writer is neuro typical and trying to be very helpful but misses completely some of the special abilities of people with ADD. One being the special ability to read the emotions in a room. For this reason I feel a little sorry for her husband and son and believe she needs to expand her knowledge to understand them (and the rest of us) better.
    One person found this helpful
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