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What Does Polyamory Look Like?: Polydiverse Patterns of Loving and Living in Modern Polyamorous Relationships Paperback – August 6, 2010
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Mim Chapman is one of the liveliest presenters I've met at poly conferences. She's a former Alaskan fishing-boat captain, marine salvager, civil rights activist, schoolteacher, middle-school principal, the creator and star of the "Vagina-Penis Dialogues," a board member of Loving More and of Unitarian Universalists for Polyamory Awareness, lifelong observer of the poly world, and all-around character. If you saw the six-foot-tall vulva costume walking around Burning Man, that was her inside it.
"I really wrote this book to expand our vocabulary," she told the crowd at a book-signing dinner at the Poly Living conference in Seattle last October . "I've discovered there can be as much difference between two visions of poly -- two ways of doing it -- as there is between poly and mono. And if I didn't have a vocabulary to explain my vision of polyamory, there were probably other people in the same boat."
To fill this need, the book describes "five of the more common relationship formats that I've observed in the poly world," gives them cute names and initials, and devotes a chapter to each. They are:
P: Plural Poly Pairs. In this common form, dyads remain supreme. One type of Plural Poly Pair is the open marriage, in which two life-bonded people also have secondary pairings. But the category includes anyone who prefers to stick with dyads (regardless of how many), each its own entity and not having much to do with the others. "Think of the things that change for you when 'I' becomes 'me and thee,' " Chapman explained. "Yes, you lose some freedom. But you have that wealth of having another mind, another body, another outlook on the world.Read more ›