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What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding: A Memoir Paperback – May 20, 2014
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Television scribe Newman (How I Met Your Mother, The Neighbors) shares her comedic and romantic adventures abroad during the last decade-and-a-half. After spending her twenties in serious relationships yet afraid, ultimately, of settling down permanently, Newman got bit by the travel bug and discovered that the best way to battle her commitment phobia was to romance handsome strangers abroad. These brief “vacationships” satisfied Newman’s desire for excitement and passion while not making her feel trapped. She cavorted with a handsome bartender in Russia, a sexy former priest in Argentina, and an aggressive surfer in Brazil. Newman describes the exotic locales as lushly as she does her companions, taking armchair travelers to Iceland, Australia, and Israel and sharing some of her travel snafus, such as losing her passport in Buenos Aires and being deemed a potential terror suspect by Israeli authorities seemingly because she’s a single woman in her thirties traveling alone. Newman adeptly mixes humor and heart, making this the perfect read for anyone in search of love, adventures abroad, or both. --Kristine Huntley
“Kristin Newman reminds me of David Sedaris, but with more joy.” –Diablo Cody
“Kristin Newman’s tales of wanderlust are at turns hilarious, embarrassing, and then truly inspiring. Her thrilling escapades make me want to get up off the couch and book a ticket to some exotic locale for a sexy adventure of my own. But I probably won’t. And neither will you. Just read the book.” –Jane Lynch
‘Kristin Newman explodes the idea of the ‘singles scene’ into a thousand tiny fragments and scatters them globally. This is misspent youth well-spent.” –Patton Oswalt
“What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding is kind of like if Eat, Pray, Love were written by your funniest friend—a laugh-out-loud life guide for anyone who needs some help enjoying being single. Or for anyone who already loves being single. Or for anyone who is married. Basically, whoever you are, Newman will make you want to chuck it all and book a trip to Argentina.” –Rachel Dratch
“Spoiler alert: I am the Will who drives a car over Kristin’s foot in the Dominican Republic. After writing with Kristin at That ‘70s Show, I knew that her book would be incredibly funny, but it’s also so heartbreaking, insightful, and full of adventure, romance, and sex sex sex! Do yourself a favor and read this book! Did I mention how funny it is and how much sex is in it?" –Will Forte
"If Mark Twain was a woman and he had actually done things in the countries he traveled to, he would have been a lot more pleasant. He also would have written this book instead of The Innocents Abroad. This book is so good that, of the many I have blurbed, this is the only one I read." –Joel Stein, columnist for Time, author of Man Made: A Stupid Quest for Masculinity
"I have had the pleasure of joining Kristin on some amazing adventures and can say without question that she is as good a writer as she is a traveler. Which is to say, slightly better when she's had a few glasses of wine." –Nick Kroll
“I love my husband and kids, truly I do—but reading What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding makes me want to buy a one-way ticket around the world, or rather two tickets—one for me and one for her—so we could party till dawn, flirt with hairy European men and break several international laws. Kristin puts the 'lust' in wanderlust and makes adventuring and even mis-adventuring sexy, fun, and at times even inspirational.” –Jill Soloway, writer/director
“Since we can’t all sit next to Kristin Newman at a dinner party, it’s a good thing she wrote What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding so we can all enjoy her funny and unexpected tales. Unlike the rest of us, Kristin took the road less traveled and that has made all the difference. Her sparkling wit and adventurous spirit will seduce you just as it did that guy in Argentina…and in Russia…and in Jordan…and so on...” –Nell Scovell, co-author of Lean In
“What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding is sly disguised as sexy. It reminded me of George Eliot mixed with a woodshop safety film... a complete delight.” –Stephen Tobolowsky, actor, author of The Dangerous Animals Club
"I wanted to read this book but my wife stole it off my nightstand, laughed at it for three nights straight and lent it to her friends." –Rodney Rothman, author Early Bird: A Memoir of Premature Retirement
"Kristin's book is such an uproarious, side-splitting, jaw-dropping-while-miraculously-somehow-also-self-reflecting page-turner, it makes me feel like I traded in my own wife and children for a time machine and a spot in her globetrotting duffel bag." –Rob Kutner, writer for Conan, author of Apocalypse How and The Future According to Me
"Riotously funny, brutally honest, and hopelessly romantic… Newman's global romps and brave takedown of the dated, divisive dichotomy between happy breeders and desperate singles is one of the most refreshing things I've read in a long time and proof that everyone has her own path to happily ever after." –Attica Locke, nationally bestselling author of The Cutting Season
"Newman’s funny and unflinchingly honest memoir reveals that even though there’s nothing quite like a great party in an exotic locale with a hot guy, true love doesn’t necessarily require a passport." –Publishers Weekly
"You should *not* judge a book by its cover, but luckily this one's as engrossing as its top flap, which I kind of wanted to dive into on sight. There are lots of books out there about being the single girl in your crowd, but Kristin Newman's is a special one; it's truly hilarious and travel-oriented, which makes it perfect for summer." –Glamour Magazine
"If you liked Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs, try What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding by Kristin Newman." –Boston Globe
Top customer reviews
If you're debating in whether or not you want to travel solo, especially if you're a woman, this book will give you the push you need to buy those tickets.
Like Kirstin, I love to travel. In my case, I have been to 80 countries and lived in 9 of them for at least a year. Before I got married for the first time at 49, I traveled much like Kirstin and had more romances than I could count. But being male, that probably would be more culturally acceptable to many. Personally, I would not judge her differently than I judge myself. I doubt I would be brave enough to publish a book that included my romantic adventures, though, if it were not under a pen name. So I give her bonus points for bravery!
My only criticism is that she butchered quite a few place names and words in Spanish and Portuguese (my 2nd and 3rd languages). But her read on foreign cultures made up for that. Thanks, Kirstin, for writing this! And, of course, go 'Cats!
I found myself wanting to highlight sections so much that I felt that I had to restrain myself so it wouldn't be one big highlight. Here are a few of my favorites:
"I wanted love, but I also wanted freedom and adventure, and those two desires fought like angry obese sumo wrestlers in the dojo of my soul."
"Then we were finally single, and kissed on a dance floor in Canada, but he promptly disappeared when we got back home, later explaining, 'We really could have had something if you weren't so successful.'"
"because of how Argentina made me feel about me, in a way you flall in love with the crush at summer camp because he's the first person who's ever looked at you like that. Argentina made me feel backlit, like the girl who makes the music swell when the camera his her, like the girl who first broke your heart."
"I read Eat Pray Love, which caused me intense stress due to how much I both hated the narrator for her self-involved, self-inflicted misery in the middle of a pretty amazing life, and deeply related to her, due to my tendency to be self-involved and inflict miser on myself in the middle of my pretty amazing life."
This is a good read and I highly recomend it to both the brave and those that stayed home! Travel with Kristin for some fun travels!