
Enjoy fast, FREE delivery, exclusive deals and award-winning movies & TV shows with Prime
Try Prime
and start saving today with Fast, FREE Delivery
Amazon Prime includes:
Fast, FREE Delivery is available to Prime members. To join, select "Try Amazon Prime and start saving today with Fast, FREE Delivery" below the Add to Cart button.
Amazon Prime members enjoy:- Cardmembers earn 5% Back at Amazon.com with a Prime Credit Card.
- Unlimited Free Two-Day Delivery
- Instant streaming of thousands of movies and TV episodes with Prime Video
- A Kindle book to borrow for free each month - with no due dates
- Listen to over 2 million songs and hundreds of playlists
- Unlimited photo storage with anywhere access
Important: Your credit card will NOT be charged when you start your free trial or if you cancel during the trial period. If you're happy with Amazon Prime, do nothing. At the end of the free trial, your membership will automatically upgrade to a monthly membership.
Other Sellers on Amazon
& FREE Shipping
98% positive over last 12 months
+ $3.99 shipping
98% positive over last 12 months
& FREE Shipping
87% positive over last 12 months

Download the free Kindle app and start reading Kindle books instantly on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required. Learn more
Read instantly on your browser with Kindle for Web.
Using your mobile phone camera - scan the code below and download the Kindle app.


Follow the Authors
OK
What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing Hardcover – April 27, 2021
Price | New from | Used from |
Audible Audiobook, Unabridged
"Please retry" |
$0.99
| $7.95 with discounted Audible membership |
Spiral-bound
"Please retry" | — | $34.07 |
Mass Market Paperback
"Please retry" | $21.39 | $24.12 |
Audio CD, CD, Unabridged
"Please retry" | $19.06 | $14.19 |
- Kindle
$0.00 Read with Kindle Unlimited to also enjoy access to over 4 million more titles $14.99 to buy -
Audiobook
$0.99 with Audible Membership - Hardcover
$14.07 - Paperback
$26.99 - Spiral-bound
$34.07 - Mass Market Paperback
$21.39 - Audio CD
$19.73
-
90 days FREE. Terms apply.
90 days FREE of Amazon Music Unlimited. Included with purchase of an eligible product. You will receive an email with signup instructions. Renews automatically. New subscribers only. Terms apply. Offered by Amazon.com. Here's how (restrictions apply)
Purchase options and add-ons
ONE MILLION COPIES SOLD
#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
Our earliest experiences shape our lives far down the road, and What Happened to You? provides powerful scientific and emotional insights into the behavioral patterns so many of us struggle to understand.
“Through this lens we can build a renewed sense of personal self-worth and ultimately recalibrate our responses to circumstances, situations, and relationships. It is, in other words, the key to reshaping our very lives.”―Oprah Winfrey
This book is going to change the way you see your life.
Have you ever wondered "Why did I do that?" or "Why can't I just control my behavior?" Others may judge our reactions and think, "What's wrong with that person?" When questioning our emotions, it's easy to place the blame on ourselves; holding ourselves and those around us to an impossible standard. It's time we started asking a different question.
Through deeply personal conversations, Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain and trauma expert Dr. Bruce Perry offer a groundbreaking and profound shift from asking “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?”
Here, Winfrey shares stories from her own past, understanding through experience the vulnerability that comes from facing trauma and adversity at a young age. In conversation throughout the book, she and Dr. Perry focus on understanding people, behavior, and ourselves. It’s a subtle but profound shift in our approach to trauma, and it’s one that allows us to understand our pasts in order to clear a path to our future―opening the door to resilience and healing in a proven, powerful way.
- Print length304 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherFlatiron Books: An Oprah Book
- Publication dateApril 27, 2021
- Dimensions5.85 x 1.2 x 8.55 inches
- ISBN-101250223180
- ISBN-13978-1250223180
The Amazon Book Review
Book recommendations, author interviews, editors' picks, and more. Read it now
Frequently bought together

What do customers buy after viewing this item?
- Highest ratedin this set of productsWorkbook for What Happened To You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience and HealingPaperback
- Most purchasedin this set of productsAtomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad OnesHardcover
Special offers and product promotions
- 90 days FREE of Amazon Music Unlimited. Included with purchase of an eligible product. You will receive an email with signup instructions. Renews automatically. New subscribers only. Terms apply. Offered by Amazon.com. Here's how (restrictions apply)
- We elicit from the world what we project into the world; but what you project is based upon what happened to you as a child.Highlighted by 5,516 Kindle readers
- Connectedness counters the pull of addictive behaviors. It is the key.Highlighted by 4,089 Kindle readers
- A child exposed to unpredictable or extreme stress will become what we call dysregulated.Highlighted by 2,763 Kindle readers
Editorial Reviews
Review
"Where Hope Lives:
What we experience in childhood shapes us forever―and that is especially true for young victims of trauma. It’s a lesson Oprah learned as a child being raised by an abusive grandmother. She developed 'a keen sense of when trouble was brewing'―when she would be subjected to 'whuppings' at times so brutal, the welts left behind would bleed through her clothing.
As a result of this and other abuse she suffered, Oprah has had a lifelong interest in understanding and overcoming the profound effects of early trauma―and helping others do the same. Now, she’s teamed up with neuroscientist and child trauma expert Bruce Perry, MD, PhD, on this essential book. Revealing, intimate, and educational, it’s a testament to the authors’ wish for readers to come to grips with, and let go of, the past―and to move forward into 'post-traumatic wisdom.'"
―Leigh Haber, O Magazine
About the Author
Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D., a child psychiatrist and neuroscientist, is the principal of the Neurosequential Network, senior fellow of the ChildTrauma Academy and an adjunct professor of psychiatry at the Northwestern University School of Medicine in Chicago. He is the author, with Maia Szalavitz, of The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog, a bestselling book based on his work with maltreated children, and Born for Love, about the essential nature of empathy.
Product details
- Publisher : Flatiron Books: An Oprah Book; 1st edition (April 27, 2021)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 304 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1250223180
- ISBN-13 : 978-1250223180
- Item Weight : 1.3 pounds
- Dimensions : 5.85 x 1.2 x 8.55 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #376 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
Videos
Videos for this product
3:33
Click to play video
What Happened to You? (Review)
The Math Sorcerer's Lair
Videos for this product
1:10
Click to play video
Look inside "What Happened to You"
✅️ FAQs, Reviews & More
Videos for this product
0:49
Click to play video
Honest review after reading what happened to you
Shelby's Favorite Finds
About the authors
Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D. is the Senior Fellow of The ChildTrauma Academy, a not-for-profit organization based in Houston (www.ChildTrauma.org) and adjunct Professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Northwestern University School of Medicine in Chicago. Dr. Perry is the author, with Maia Szalavitz, of The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog, a bestselling book based on his work with maltreated children and Born For Love: Why Empathy is Essential and Endangered. Over the last thirty years, Dr. Perry has been an active teacher, clinician and researcher in children’s mental health and the neurosciences holding a variety of academic positions.
Dr. Perry was on the faculty of the Departments of Pharmacology and Psychiatry at the University Of Chicago School Of Medicine from 1988 to 1991. From 1992 to 2001, Dr. Perry served as the Trammell Research Professor of Child Psychiatry at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, Texas. During this time, Dr. Perry also was Chief of Psychiatry for Texas Children's Hospital and Vice-Chairman for Research within the Department of Psychiatry. From 2001 to 2003, Dr. Perry served as the Medical Director for Provincial Programs in Children's Mental Health for the Alberta Mental Health Board. He continues to serve as a Senior Consultant to the Ministry of Children’s Services in Alberta, Canada.
Dr. Perry has conducted both basic neuroscience and clinical research. His neuroscience research has examined the effects of prenatal drug exposure on brain development, the neurobiology of human neuropsychiatric disorders, the neurophysiology of traumatic life events and basic mechanisms related to the development of neurotransmitter receptors in the brain. His clinical research and practice has focused on high-risk children - examining long-term cognitive, behavioral, emotional, social, and physiological effects of neglect and trauma in children, adolescents and adults. This work has been instrumental in describing how childhood experiences, including neglect and traumatic stress, change the biology of the brain – and, thereby, the health of the child.
His clinical research over the last ten years has been focused on integrating concepts of developmental neuroscience and child development into clinical practices. This work has resulted in the development of innovative clinical practices and programs working with maltreated and traumatized children, most prominently the Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics (NMT). The ChildTrauma Academy has multiple partners in various sectors of the community and has created many programs in context of public-private partnerships with the goal of promoting positive change within the primary institutions that work with high risk children such as child protective services, mental health, public education and juvenile justice.
His experience as a clinician and a researcher with traumatized children has led many community and governmental agencies to consult Dr. Perry following high-profile incidents involving traumatized children such as the Branch Davidian siege in Waco, the Oklahoma City bombing, the Columbine school shootings, the September 11th terrorist attacks, Katrina hurricane, the FLDS polygamist sect and many others.
Dr. Perry is the author of over 300 journal articles, book chapters and scientific proceedings and is the recipient of numerous professional awards and honors, including the T. Berry Brazelton Infant Mental Health Advocacy Award, the Award for Leadership in Public Child Welfare and the Alberta Centennial Medal.
He has presented about child maltreatment, children's mental health, neurodevelopment and youth violence in a variety of venues including policy-making bodies such as the White House Summit on Violence, the California Assembly and U.S. House Committee on Education. Dr. Perry has been featured in a wide range of media including National Public Radio, The Today Show, Good Morning America, Nightline, CNN, MSNBC, NBC, ABC and CBS News and the Oprah Winfrey Show. His work has been featured in documentaries produced by Dateline NBC, 20/20, the BBC, Nightline, CBC, PBS, as well as dozen international documentaries. Many print media have highlighted the clinical and research activities of Dr. Perry including a Pulitzer-prize winning series in the Chicago Tribune, US News and World Report, Time, Newsweek, Forbes ASAP, Washington Post, the New York Times and Rolling Stone.
Dr. Perry, a native of Bismarck, North Dakota, was an undergraduate at Stanford University and Amherst College. He attended medical and graduate school at Northwestern University, receiving both M.D. and Ph.D. degrees. Dr. Perry completed a residency in general psychiatry at Yale University School of Medicine and a fellowship in Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at The University of Chicago.
Oprah Winfrey is a global media leader, philanthropist, producer and actress. She has created an unparalleled connection with people around the world, making her one of the most respected and admired figures today.
Winfrey oversees both the premium television network OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network and the print and digital content of "O, The Oprah Magazine." Winfrey also hosts “Super Soul,” featuring conversations between herself and thought leaders available on discovery+. The audio version of these conversations debuted as #1 and have been downloaded over 350 million times to date around the world in podcast form.
Winfrey is an Academy Award-nominated actress for her role in “The Color Purple,” earned critical acclaim in “Lee Daniels’ The Butler” and produced and acted in the Academy Award-winning film “Selma.” Winfrey starred in the Emmy nominated HBO Films “The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks” and portrayed “Mrs. Which” in Disney’s “Wrinkle in Time” film adaptation from director Ava DuVernay.
In 2015, Winfrey joined the Weight Watchers board of directors and in 2020 launched a nationwide arena tour “Oprah’s 2020 Vision: Your Life in Focus” featuring motivational and inspirational guest speakers. Winfrey has since hosted worldwide virtual events featuring inspirational leaders to encourage and support being on their wellness journey.
In 2017, her cookbook “Food, Health and Happiness: 115 On Point Recipes for Great Meals and a Better Life” and “Wisdom of Sundays” both debuted as #1 on the New York Times Bestsellers List under her personal book imprint “An Oprah Book.” in 2020, the imprint published Alicia Key's memoir "More Myself," along with debut author Emmanuel Acho's "Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man."
In 2018, Oprah partnered with Apple for a multi-year content partnership to create original programs that will embrace her incomparable ability to connect with audiences around the world. Winfrey’s projects, including Oprah’s Book Club are part of a lineup of original content from Apple. “Oprah Talks: COVID-19” launched in March 2020 to discuss the impact of the pandemic.
Winfrey is also a dedicated philanthropist. During a December 2002 visit with Nelson Mandela, she pledged to build a school in South Africa and has contributed more than $200 million towards providing education for academically gifted girls from disadvantaged backgrounds. Graduates of the school have continued on to higher education both in South Africa and at colleges and universities around the world. In 2019, Ms. Winfrey made a donation to Morehouse College in support of her Morehouse Scholars Program to bring her total donation to men’s education to $20 million. Additionally, Winfrey is a founding donor of the Smithsonian’s National Museum of African American History and Culture. In June of 2018, the museum opened “Watching Oprah: The Oprah Winfrey Show and American Culture,” an exhibit exploring Winfrey’s life and her talk show’s impact featuring artifacts from the set, costumes from her movies and interactive interviews. In March 2020, she committed $12 million to COVID-19 relief efforts in underserved communities in her “home cities” of Chicago, Milwaukee, Kosciusko, Mississippi and Baltimore.
In 2013, Winfrey was awarded the Medal of Freedom, the nation’s highest civilian honor. In 2018, she was honored with the Cecil B deMille award by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association.
Customer reviews
Customer Reviews, including Product Star Ratings help customers to learn more about the product and decide whether it is the right product for them.
To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average. Instead, our system considers things like how recent a review is and if the reviewer bought the item on Amazon. It also analyzed reviews to verify trustworthiness.
Learn more how customers reviews work on Amazon
Reviewed in the United States on December 9, 2021
-
Top reviews
Top reviews from the United States
There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later.
My personal experience, I was brought up in a middle class white family, graduated college at 23, and on to work full-time, a fulfilling career, until my childhood trauma was triggered when I felt bullied by a $3trillion company. I suffered from dissociative trauma, as a child, fight or flight were not options to the significant abuse I suffered. This bully triggered the bully from my childhood that significantly abused me and I took all the anger from my childhood bully and placed it on this company. Whether I was right or wrong in feeling bullied is moot, book will point to that. I resigned from a career at this company of 11 years, a good career, and went on to file multiple lawsuits consuming two years of my life, the picture shows I took the case all the way to The Supreme Court of the US, after I was rejected in every other court. You see the child who did not have a voice when she was being abused, was determined this time to be heard, hence all the lawsuits begging someone to see how I was being bullied. I wasn't successful, every court denied to allow me to go to discovery, which just again, reactivated my childhood trauma of not being heard. This started for me in 2014, it would take me 4 years to walk through the doors of a trauma counselor where I would connect all the dots and be flooded with past memories, experience PTSD, body sensations, and here I am 3 years later, healthier and whole, but it was the most difficult process I've ever experienced. I was lucky, I had an incredible support system in my husband and friends but I can easily see how this type of event would cripple anyone and how they could be ostracized by friends and family, not that I didn't experience some of that, but those who were there for me helped me overcome.
So, yes, I recommend the book because all of us have experienced adversities or trauma and most folks have no idea how it is playing out in their lives today and how they are passing it down to their children. If you take the time to be openminded, reflective, and honest, you will in fact take something away that will make your life better.
Thank you Dr. Perry and Oprah, for all the work you have done in this field for decades. I can't imagine how difficult it has to be to hear so many of these stories, live it, and know it, and see how slow our society has been to address mental health. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Oprah for putting it on your 2021 list, and thank you too for sharing your personal story, how you struggled and resolved your relationship with your mother, it moved me to tears, for many reasons. May God bless you each abundantly and may His hand be upon the mission of expanding this topic of What Happened To you?
Leigh Ann Harris
North Carolina

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on December 9, 2021
My personal experience, I was brought up in a middle class white family, graduated college at 23, and on to work full-time, a fulfilling career, until my childhood trauma was triggered when I felt bullied by a $3trillion company. I suffered from dissociative trauma, as a child, fight or flight were not options to the significant abuse I suffered. This bully triggered the bully from my childhood that significantly abused me and I took all the anger from my childhood bully and placed it on this company. Whether I was right or wrong in feeling bullied is moot, book will point to that. I resigned from a career at this company of 11 years, a good career, and went on to file multiple lawsuits consuming two years of my life, the picture shows I took the case all the way to The Supreme Court of the US, after I was rejected in every other court. You see the child who did not have a voice when she was being abused, was determined this time to be heard, hence all the lawsuits begging someone to see how I was being bullied. I wasn't successful, every court denied to allow me to go to discovery, which just again, reactivated my childhood trauma of not being heard. This started for me in 2014, it would take me 4 years to walk through the doors of a trauma counselor where I would connect all the dots and be flooded with past memories, experience PTSD, body sensations, and here I am 3 years later, healthier and whole, but it was the most difficult process I've ever experienced. I was lucky, I had an incredible support system in my husband and friends but I can easily see how this type of event would cripple anyone and how they could be ostracized by friends and family, not that I didn't experience some of that, but those who were there for me helped me overcome.
So, yes, I recommend the book because all of us have experienced adversities or trauma and most folks have no idea how it is playing out in their lives today and how they are passing it down to their children. If you take the time to be openminded, reflective, and honest, you will in fact take something away that will make your life better.
Thank you Dr. Perry and Oprah, for all the work you have done in this field for decades. I can't imagine how difficult it has to be to hear so many of these stories, live it, and know it, and see how slow our society has been to address mental health. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Oprah for putting it on your 2021 list, and thank you too for sharing your personal story, how you struggled and resolved your relationship with your mother, it moved me to tears, for many reasons. May God bless you each abundantly and may His hand be upon the mission of expanding this topic of What Happened To you?
Leigh Ann Harris
North Carolina

As someone who also works in education, I think this is a must-read for anyone working with children. It’s really a must-read for all unless you’re already an expert in trauma, regulation, neuroscience, and child development. I will forever be thinking about how to ensure I’m regulated and that I’m approaching others through a trauma-conscious lens.
It's hard to be screamed at in an irrational, mean way by a child with a traumatic background. This book explains what's going on and how important it is to keep showing up and not take the behavior personally. The author suggests "screen hygiene" policies on phones and screen time to protect children's health, and I wish this were a rule in the foster care system. Kids wanting to be on the screen all day has had such a detrimental effect on their human development and the info in this book explains why. It would make life so much easier on foster parents to be able to say, "I'm legally mandated to limit your screen time."
Text is pretty basic if you've done any work.
The author is basically a foil for Oprah to demonstrate her insights and empathy, BUT it may help some readers to see her responses to his statements.
(And the author selles books riding her coattails).
Top reviews from other countries


It takes time to connect to it initially but then one can see through. One can see how our near and dear ones behave because of what happened to them.


