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What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing Hardcover – April 27, 2021

4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 14,333 ratings

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Where Hope Lives:

What we experience in childhood shapes us forever―and that is especially true for young victims of trauma. It’s a lesson Oprah learned as a child being raised by an abusive grandmother. She developed 'a keen sense of when trouble was brewing'―when she would be subjected to 'whuppings' at times so brutal, the welts left behind would bleed through her clothing.

As a result of this and other abuse she suffered, Oprah has had a lifelong interest in understanding and overcoming the profound effects of early trauma―and helping others do the same.
Now, she’s teamed up with neuroscientist and child trauma expert Bruce Perry, MD, PhD, on this essential book. Revealing, intimate, and educational, it’s a testament to the authors’ wish for readers to come to grips with, and let go of, the past―and to move forward into 'post-traumatic wisdom.'"


―Leigh Haber,
O Magazine

About the Author

Through the power of media, Oprah Winfrey has created an unparalleled connection with people around the world. As host and supervising producer of the top-rated, award-winning The Oprah Winfrey Show, she entertained, enlightened, and uplifted millions of viewers for twenty-five years. Her accomplishments as a global media leader and philanthropist have established her as one of the most respected and admired public figures today.

Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D., a child psychiatrist and neuroscientist, is the principal of the Neurosequential Network, senior fellow of the ChildTrauma Academy and an adjunct professor of psychiatry at the Northwestern University School of Medicine in Chicago. He is the author, with Maia Szalavitz, of The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog, a bestselling book based on his work with maltreated children, and Born for Love, about the essential nature of empathy.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Flatiron Books: An Oprah Book; 1st edition (April 27, 2021)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 304 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1250223180
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1250223180
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.3 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.85 x 1.2 x 8.55 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 14,333 ratings

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4.7 out of 5 stars
4.7 out of 5
14,333 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on May 31, 2023
2 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on May 19, 2023
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Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on December 9, 2021
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LAH
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read....personally validating
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on December 9, 2021
The photo I shared is how my personal childhood trauma played out as an adult when I was 47. This book validates the experiences I had, and that in fact, I'm not an exception at all. My hope and prayer is that with this being on Oprah's list of 2021 best gifts that more folks will take the time to understand how in fact their past can and does play out in their life and in their relationships with others. The best gift any of us can give our children is to break generational cycles of abuse, neglect, and negative patterns. We can't do that without an understanding of how our brains work to deal with trauma we have experienced in our lives. Dr. Perry and Oprah take such a complicated topic and give concrete examples to help folks who haven't had exposure to this topic have a better understanding. You more than likely have had adverse experiences in your life that impact your current relationships. This book will help you have a better understanding of how past experiences play out in current relationships. Additionally, there are examples of how folks have overcome great adversities to go on and thrive. What happens to us doesn't have to define us or our future, we each need to process our past, understand how a wrong, injustice, or adversity, has shaped our worldview, and then make the decision to learn and grow from the experience. It's not easy, and I don't think in the book they allude to the fact that it is, it's very difficult, but as I've come to learn in life, probably like most folks, the rewards come after the difficult work/journeys. Nothing worthwhile in life is usually easy.

My personal experience, I was brought up in a middle class white family, graduated college at 23, and on to work full-time, a fulfilling career, until my childhood trauma was triggered when I felt bullied by a $3trillion company. I suffered from dissociative trauma, as a child, fight or flight were not options to the significant abuse I suffered. This bully triggered the bully from my childhood that significantly abused me and I took all the anger from my childhood bully and placed it on this company. Whether I was right or wrong in feeling bullied is moot, book will point to that. I resigned from a career at this company of 11 years, a good career, and went on to file multiple lawsuits consuming two years of my life, the picture shows I took the case all the way to The Supreme Court of the US, after I was rejected in every other court. You see the child who did not have a voice when she was being abused, was determined this time to be heard, hence all the lawsuits begging someone to see how I was being bullied. I wasn't successful, every court denied to allow me to go to discovery, which just again, reactivated my childhood trauma of not being heard. This started for me in 2014, it would take me 4 years to walk through the doors of a trauma counselor where I would connect all the dots and be flooded with past memories, experience PTSD, body sensations, and here I am 3 years later, healthier and whole, but it was the most difficult process I've ever experienced. I was lucky, I had an incredible support system in my husband and friends but I can easily see how this type of event would cripple anyone and how they could be ostracized by friends and family, not that I didn't experience some of that, but those who were there for me helped me overcome.

So, yes, I recommend the book because all of us have experienced adversities or trauma and most folks have no idea how it is playing out in their lives today and how they are passing it down to their children. If you take the time to be openminded, reflective, and honest, you will in fact take something away that will make your life better.

Thank you Dr. Perry and Oprah, for all the work you have done in this field for decades. I can't imagine how difficult it has to be to hear so many of these stories, live it, and know it, and see how slow our society has been to address mental health. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Oprah for putting it on your 2021 list, and thank you too for sharing your personal story, how you struggled and resolved your relationship with your mother, it moved me to tears, for many reasons. May God bless you each abundantly and may His hand be upon the mission of expanding this topic of What Happened To you?

Leigh Ann Harris
North Carolina
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Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on May 16, 2023
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Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on April 13, 2023
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Top reviews from other countries

Kindle Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars This book helps to analyse our trauma.
Reviewed in India 🇮🇳 on March 4, 2023
Kindle Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome
Reviewed in India 🇮🇳 on November 28, 2022
Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Must Read if experienced any kind of trauma!
Reviewed in India 🇮🇳 on July 31, 2022
3 people found this helpful
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Baazil Z.
5.0 out of 5 stars A great book
Reviewed in India 🇮🇳 on December 18, 2021
One person found this helpful
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Amazon Customer Murali
5.0 out of 5 stars Absorbing
Reviewed in India 🇮🇳 on November 29, 2021