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Kate Fagan

What Made Maddy Run: The Secret Struggles and Tragic Death of an All-American Teen Hardcover – August 1, 2017

by Kate Fagan (Author)

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The heartbreaking story of college athlete Madison Holleran, whose life and death by suicide reveal the struggle of young people suffering from mental illness today in this #1 New York Times Sports and Fitness bestseller.

If you scrolled through the Instagram feed of 19-year-old Maddy Holleran, you would see a perfect life: a freshman at an Ivy League school, recruited for the track team, who was also beautiful, popular, and fiercely intelligent. This was a girl who succeeded at everything she tried, and who was only getting started. But when Maddy began her long-awaited college career, her parents noticed something changed. Previously indefatigable Maddy became withdrawn, and her thoughts centered on how she could change her life. In spite of thousands of hours of practice and study, she contemplated transferring from the school that had once been her dream.

When Maddy's dad, Jim, dropped her off for the first day of spring semester, she held him a second longer than usual. That would be the last time Jim would see his daughter. What Made Maddy Run began as a piece that Kate Fagan, a columnist for espnW, wrote about Maddy's life. What started as a profile of a successful young athlete whose life ended in suicide became so much larger when Fagan started to hear from other college athletes also struggling with mental illness.

This is the story of Maddy Holleran's life, and her struggle with depression, which also reveals the mounting pressures young people -- and college athletes in particular -- face to be perfect, especially in an age of relentless connectivity and social media saturation.

Print length

320 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Little, Brown and Company
Publication date

August 1, 2017
Dimensions

6.5 x 1 x 9.5 inches
ISBN-10

0316356549
ISBN-13

978-0316356541
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Editorial Reviews

Review

Praise for What Made Maddy Run

Semi-Finalist for the PEN/ESPN Award for Literary Sportswriting

"A poignant study of the converging pressures of mental illness, college athletics and social media."―Carlos Lozada, Washington Post

"Gripping and universal"
―Trevor Noah, The Daily Show

"Fagan does an exceptional job laying out [Maddy's] pain in a narrative style that is both persuasive and honest . . . a comprehensive, essential, and well-written piece about mental health, as well as a small step toward reducing the stigma around anxiety and depression."―Erin McCarthy, Philadelphia Inquirer

"A compassionate and frank look at depression and the social pressure faced by many college students as seen through the eyes of one young woman."―Kirkus

"With immense empathy, [Fagan] shares insights particular to student athletes, but presents them in universally accessible language and connects with the non-athlete through vivid examples"―Shelf-Awareness

"Fagan delivers the sequence of events in such a heartfelt but very real way"―Caitlyn Pilkington, Women's Running

"Holleran seems so alive on the page; her messages and Fagan's prose create someone who seems a real, living thing, so much so that by the end, this reader was rooting for her to talk to someone"

―Flotrack

"The book goes beyond telling a heartbreaking story; it encourages compassion toward young adults struggling with mental health issues and will ultimately help us think about ways to prevent similar tragedies."―National Book Review

"Fagan's book is well-researched and the message is timely and important."―Publishers' Weekly

"It is impossible not to be affected by Holleran's heart-wrenching story. An appropriate (if difficult) read for current and future college athletes, their coaches, and parents."―Library Journal

"the must-read book of 2017 for runners or competitive athletes of all kinds...thoroughly researched, written with sensitivity"―Sinead Mulhern, Canadian Running

"Covering an issue as sensitive as a teen suicide is no easy task and Fagan's compassion and desire to prevent more students from following Holleran's path shows in her writing. I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to be better informed about mental health issues among college students."―Carina Julig, cuindependent.com

"A provocative and thoughtful look at a student-athlete suicide that rocked the nation--but didn't, until now, actually help inform the nation. A labor of love and prevention by Kate Fagan, and Maddy's family and friends."

―Stephen Fried, best-selling author of Thing of Beauty and with Patrick Kennedy, A Common Struggle

About the Author

Kate Fagan is an Emmy award-winning journalist and the #1 New York Times bestselling author of What Made Maddy Run, which was longlisted for the PEN/ESPN Award. She currently works for Meadowlark Media and writes for Sports Illustrated, and previously spent seven years as a columnist and feature writer for espnW, ESPN.com and ESPN The Magazine. She lives in Charleston, South Carolina with her wife, Kathryn Budig, and their two dogs.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Little, Brown and Company; Illustrated edition (August 1, 2017)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 320 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0316356549
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0316356541
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.15 pounds
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.5 x 1 x 9.5 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #634,731 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #475 in Coping with Suicide Grief
- #2,916 in Sports Biographies (Books)
- #35,572 in Medical Books (Books)

Customer Reviews:
2,319 ratings

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Kate Fagan

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Kate Fagan is a columnist and feature writer for espnW, ESPN.com and ESPN The Magazine. She is also a regular panelist on ESPN's Around the Horn and can also be seen on Outside the Lines, First Take and His & Hers. Previously, Fagan spent three seasons covering the 76ers for the Philadelphia Inquirer. She is the author of a memoir, The Reappearing Act, and co-host of the espnW podcast, Free Cookies. Kate lives in Brooklyn, New York with her girlfriend Kathryn Budig, and their two dogs.

Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5

2,319 global ratings

5 star		73%
4 star		20%
3 star		5%
2 star		1%
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Donald Arteaga

An Important Book (with a Minor Issue)!

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on March 27, 2023

Verified Purchase

This book is a well-told reconstruction of events from Maddy's high school years to her last day alive. Using Maddy's text messages to interviews from friends and family to stored documents on Maddy's computer, the author was extremely thorough in her research.

In addition, I really appreciated how the author added nuance to every situation. In a lesser book, Maddy's track coach could've easily been scapegoated as the person who set the trajectory for Maddy's suicide. She met with him to say she's quitting track, but he encouraged her to find a middle ground. Rather than leave it at that, the author adds the coach dealt with dozens of college students before under similar circumstances who simply needed time adjusting to college life and came out stronger on the other side.

Put simply, the causes for suicide are complex and multifaceted. Many times there's not a single answer but a multitude of factors. As for Maddy, what are the key causes most often pointed to in the book?

- 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐭, 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲. Maddy loved playing soccer in high school and only did track just to stay in shape. But because she was so good at track and received lots of validation for it, she felt she needed to leave soccer for it. Up to her last days she contemplated about going back to soccer.

- 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐲 "𝐧𝐨" 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. Many of Maddy's text messages to friends expressed frustration about not liking college but fear of letting people down who helped get her there like her track coach. She was also an overachiever throughout her life, so the idea of "quitting" anything seemed negative and foreign to her. But when she finally had the courage to say she was quitting, the fear of letting her coach down took precedent.

- 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐮𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲. In high school, Maddy ranked at the top for sports. In college, her same ranking was middle-of-the-pack, alongside hundreds of other overachievers. Thus, it was assumed then to be excellent in college Maddy had to do even better than her best, to aim for perfection rather than excellence.

- 𝐃𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬. At many points, Maddy told others she intuitively felt something was wrong. She knew she no longer was the bright-eyed student she once was, but she didn't know why. That said, a lot of this communication was also done through text messages filled with "lol's" and emojis. And her Instagram account only ever showed positive moments (even when the moment itself wasn't). Digital media gives the illusion we know more about other people but all we see is a heavily filtered surface level projection.

I really found the book insightful and important to read. I also think the author added some insightful takes that enhanced my understanding of Maddy's story. That said, I give this book a 4 out of 5 because there are sub-chapters added between chapters where the author interjects her own personal story of how much Maddy's story spoke to her. I'm happy to see it did, but I would have preferred she placed these portions in an Author's Note at the beginning or end of the book as I found myself skimming these portions just to get back to the main story. I understand the author's intention, but it really didn't seem to fit.

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on April 14, 2023

Verified Purchase

As a high level athlete who lost their identity once they left the sport, I could relate to Maddy's struggles. As the parent of three collegiate athletes, I also could relate. One of my children played at an Ivy. I wish she hadn't. Her self-esteem completely destroyed in the process. I came to her emotional rescue more than once in those years. It's always scary to think your child might be on the brink of a breakdown even when we know the signs. My heart breaks for Maddy's family and all those that have lost children to suicide. Finding our way in the world is hard. Thanks for sharing her story and reminding readers that these situations exist.

Helpful

Important Book but about Suicide, not Running

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on December 29, 2019

Verified Purchase

I was in tears by the time I read about Maddy Holleran's death. But this should have been a perfect book, and it wasn't. I say it should've been perfect because it had a ready-made, baked-in story that needed telling, the transition from high school to college of a smart, beautiful, talented young woman who was loved by all her family and friends but who nevertheless experienced (spoiler alert) a downward spiral into depression and suicide. We think we can recognize the candidates for suicide, but this book shows us that we can't. Outsiders would've characterized Maddy as having everything. The tendency for uninformed readers might be to place blame, but to her credit the author is careful never to do that. It's obvious that Maddy's family and friends were eager to help in whatever way possible. When Maddy decided to quit the Penn track team, her mother and sister accompanied her to the meeting with her coach. Maddy received emails and texts offering support. In the end, I felt nothing but grief for Maddy's family, as it was clear they lost someone they deeply loved, and they did everything in their power to help her. My gripe with "What Made Maddy Run" is that it seemed somewhat slapdash. It's cynical of me to say, but the book began as an ESPN article, and it seems that when the article proved successful the urge was to expand it into a book to compound that success. The expectations should be high to tell Maddy's story the right way, and there was ample source material here to do that. Fagan was given full access to Maddy's family and friends, as well as to her computer, which contained texts, emails, documents, and a wealth of other source material. What I found myself hoping for was a fuller account of Maddy's life. Instead, in this curiously large-print book are chapters given over to the author's own life, including stuff she has apparently already published in a previous book, as well as other filler. This does a disservice to the book's subject. I was first led to "What Made Maddy Run" because it was recommended as a great book on the subject of running. Maddy was a soccer player. Only late in her high school career did she take up track, and she struggled with the choice of playing soccer at Lehigh or running track at Penn. Ultimately she opted for the latter, and this seemed to be a terrible mistake for her. But very little time or space is given over to descriptions of Maddy's soccer games or, later, her track practices, meets, or teammates. We learn only that she disliked running cross-country at Penn but was good at it. The book's title therefore bothers me. Yes, there's the question of why Maddy chose running over soccer, which Fagan attempts to answer. Maddy was smart and preferred an Ivy League school. But in the dearth of running subject matter, the title assumes other meanings. It tends to imply that Maddy was running from her problems, which seems almost insulting. If anything, Maddy was trying to face her struggles head-on. Most disturbing is the careful description of Maddy's suicide, including the speculation that she took a running start when leaping from the ninth floor of a parking structure. Immediately after this section in which the death is described in such wrenching detail, Fagan inserts an interview with a suicide survivor who advises journalists NOT to describe suicide methods so graphically. Did the author, or her editors, not see the contradiction here? Especially in the lack of concrete detail in earlier sections of the book, the description of Maddy's death becomes somewhat lurid. And is the book's title somehow alluding to the final "run" from the roof of the parking deck? This book needs to exist for the awareness it places on depression and suicide among college students, and because Maddy's life was worthwhile and her death tragic. There was also a point Fagan raised that I found especially provocative. She argued that late-stage capitalism and the rise of social media, e.g. Instagram, has turned young people into products in which they are always marketing themselves and see every post as an advertisement. This pressure students place on themselves seems central to Fagan's book.

13 people found this helpful

Helpful

Disappointed

The author adds too much of her experience and life

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on March 8, 2023

Verified Purchase

I was interested in the story of Maddy. There were way too many sections that veered off into the life of the author, or interviews with other people about their experiences. With all of the resources about Maddy available to her, I would have rather learned more about Maddy from her family and friends, I was not interested in the experiences of the author. There were several sections I skimmed, especially the very long part with Megan. A tragic story, but a reminder to all that you don't always see the depths of depression in the age of social media.

One person found this helpful

Helpful

Top reviews from other countries

MeMe

Written with compassion and honesty

Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on March 2, 2018

Verified Purchase

This book was interesting, scary and honest.

Maddy is not doing well in her head and nobody picks up on it until it is too late. She is the young woman who appears to have it all, but she cannot make it through a day.

This book was scary t read because it details so well what every parent's nightmare is - not seeing or understanding that your child is sick and needs help.

Maddy's story is heartbreaking and it is detailed here as a cautionary tale - it scared me and made me incredibly sad. The author does not shy away from who Maddy was and what happened, tracking it back and seeing the signs that were there but weren't there at the same time.

At times, I found myself getting upset at Maddy and then feeling sad for her parents and then sensing how very sad and unhappy Maddy was. She was obviously running from something that was catching up to her.

Excellent reading, excellent writing with compassion and honesty.

2 people found this helpful

Grant MacDougall

Read it

Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on January 3, 2019

Verified Purchase

If you have any young people in your life this book is a must read. It has opened my eyes to the challenges our youth are facing and the impact that technology and mental health issues are having on their generation.

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