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What Women Want Men to Know Mass Market Paperback – January 1, 1900

3.9 out of 5 stars 73 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Like John Gray, relationship expert and motivational speaker DeAngelis (Are You the One for Me?, etc.) highlights recognizable distinctions between the needs and communicating styles of men and women. Based upon the experiences of "tens of thousands of people" and women's responses to a questionnaire, her latest work aspires to offer "simple, practical ways to communicate and make both (sexes) happier." Though arguably bordering on stereotype, her easily digestible truths (women put love first, are creators, have a sacred relationships with time) can help both sexes gain perspective. But treacly writing (e.g., "no beauty treatment... outfit... jewels... can make a woman look as radiant as when she is feeling loved") and heavy-handed admonitions (e.g., to read the book "from start to finish") detract from more helpful observations. However, restraint is not DeAngelis's trademark, nor what fans expect. Though the focus is on interpreting women's behavior (e.g., viewing being "too emotional" as "in touch with feelings"), men's behavior doesn't seem to merit the same consideration. For example, she lists the top-10 male habits that drive women crazy (vagueness, emotional withdrawal, lying to avoid unpleasantness, bossing women around) without further elucidation. Perhaps DeAngelis is saving the interpretations for the sequel, but it's a shame to turn off men who may benefit from her genuine insights in, for example, the small but provocative section on sex. (Aug.)Forecast: Women will flock to this, as they have to her other bestsellers, but the intended male audience may prove difficult to capture.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

--This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

From Library Journal

DeAngelis (Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know) here writes for both men and women, aiming to help men understand the women in their lives and to help women understand themselves more clearly. She divides her book into three sections: what women want men to know about them, about love, intimacy, and communication, and about sexual turnoffs and turnons. The material comes from DeAngelis's 25 years of counseling, events in her own life and the lives of her friends, and a questionnaire she sent to hundreds of women. DeAngelis has a frank, to-the-point style, but she is neither profane nor voyeuristic. She hopes that a woman could hand this book to her companion and say "Read this and you will understand me" and it is just that sort of book. It delivers what it promises, is compelling reading, and is easy to grasp, with boxed hints and the use of both boldface and italics to help readers separate her ideas. Her concepts of the "dove pie" and "Love House" are worthy of the price of the book. Great talk-show material, this will be popular in public libraries. Susan E. Burdick, MLS, Reading, PA
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

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Product Details

  • Mass Market Paperback: 496 pages
  • Publisher: Hachette Books (August 2002)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0786889942
  • ISBN-13: 978-0786889945
  • Product Dimensions: 4.2 x 1.4 x 6.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (73 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #331,399 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By A Customer on December 10, 2003
Format: Mass Market Paperback
After 24 years and 11 months of marriage, I'd had enough. I'd tried everything to explain how I felt to my husband. He just didn't get it.
In desperation I bought the book, mostly to see if I could learn anything about how to explain to him. I never expected him to actually read the book with me.
After reading a couple of passages from the book to him, he agreed to read the book together. The passages from the book sounded so much like us.
Next week instead of an appointment with a divorce lawyer, we have reservations at a elegant restaurant, for a romantic dinner on our 25th anniversary.
I always knew if I could explain what romance, seduction, connecting, and quality time together meant he would do it. I just couldn't get him to understand. The last councilor we saw told me that if he didn't get it after 24 years, he'd never get it.
Not only does he get it, I understand more about myself now. Everyone, both men and women should read this book.
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Format: Hardcover
Dr. De Angelis has written a passionate appeal to men that is designed to help them improve their relationships with women. This book will probably be given as a gift by wives to husbands and girl friends to their boy friends. If someone gives you this book, see it as an act of love that will help you.
While some books about what men need to know totally take the woman's perspective, this book is well balanced. Dr. De Angelis seems to understand male psychology almost as well as she understands her own. Years ago she wrote a parallel book on what men want women to know that demonstrates that understanding. In this book she is careful to keep that balance. For example, the beginning sections include separate messages to women and men for how to give and receive this book, and work with it in loving ways. She also states at several points in bold type, "I love men." She also doesn't seem to be trying to turn men into women.
The book's premise is based on thousands of contacts Dr. De Angelis has had with women and a questionnaire that she distributed. She points out that what she has to say doesn't describe every woman. Each is unique. Men are encouraged to discuss the points in the book to find out which of them do fit the women they care about. This kind of conversation will be an important and valuable use of the book.
The fundamental divide between men and women in relationships is that women put love first and it fills and colors every part of what they do and think about. Men put achievement first, and compartmentalize love into a small portion of their lives. A real eye-opener for me was one woman's love diary about her loving thoughts concerning her man. He was seldom out of her mind for more than ten minutes at a time.
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Format: Hardcover
I like this author's writing style and the easy, comfortable manner in which she graps the reader's attention. Barbara has, once again, separated the men from the women in her new book which looks at the communication gap between the sexes.
As a counsellor, I cannot tell you the number of times a man has sat across from me and said, "My wife does not understand me" or the number of times a woman has said, "My husband doesn't understand what I need from our relationship." This book will definitely help bridge the communication gap and open the doors to a fuller, enriched and more loving relationship. First of all, husbands and wives are not mind-readers, and the best solution to improving relationships is always a heart-to-heart talk to discover just what does please your partner, and what really ticks him or her off. Secondly, according to the author, "women put love first." I know of several men who also put "love first" but may show their love in an entirely different manner. Sometimes actions speak louder than words; words mean nothing, no matter how endearing or how many "I love you's are spoken," if actions contradict the words.
The only negative aspects encountered in the book were (1) the author's tendancy to stereotype men and woman, and categorize their needs into nice, neat little compartments, and (2) the author's somewhat flowery, mundane cliches. For those reasons, the book lost a star in the rating. In reality, based on years of experience in the field, it is a known fact not everyone fits into a common mold. Not all women have the same behavioural traits, nor do men.
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Format: Hardcover
I was looking for a book to give me tips or ideas on how to improve my relationship. I am a guy and I need a list and I have a goal. This book does that, but you do have to read a little too. It is an easy read though. It also explains why women are the way they are. Strange but true. Guys-why do girls need to know where I went, who I talked to, how was my day, why I didn't check in. They have to be spying on me, right? It is a hard concept to accept and I still am having a hard time with it but this book helps explain why. How many times have we heard "let's have more quality time"? Well I have given out more details about my day like the people who came in, some problems I had, solutions I found,... at dinner instead of "fine" or "ok" and this was accepted as quality time. Granted she wants more, but I can do the quality time and eat at the same time. The book explains the telephone phenomenon which why my conversations last under a minute and hers are why they have "unlimited nights and weekends". Last example, I went to my wife and told her that "I appreciated all her hard work in her planning of making sure the kids and myself were happy." this was in the morning and when I got back home at the end of the day she was beaming and had a great day and the nice comment I said had made her day. Wow, that was kind of easy to do, even though I felt like a dork saying it that morning. Only draw back of the book was that I felt like my side of the story was not told and felt overwhelmed that this is a 2way street and what about how to make me happy? Granted, its usually quite simple and obvious but none the less needed. Well I have ordered her other book about what secrets guys want girls to know and that will probably do a good job doing just that. It should be here today. Good luck.
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