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What You Can Change and What You Can't: The Complete Guide to Successful Self-Improvement Paperback – January 9, 2007
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Wise, direct, and very useful, a science-based book that can help anyone make long-lasting change.
In the climate of self-improvement that pervades our culture, there is an overwhelming amount of information about treatments for everything from alcohol abuse to sexual dysfunction. Much of this information is exaggerated if not wholly inaccurate. As a result, people who try to change their own troubling conditions often experience the frustration of mixed success, success followed by a relapse, or outright failure.
To address this confusion, Martin Seligman has meticulously analyzed the most authoritative scientific research on treatments for alcoholism, anxiety, weight loss, anger, depression, and a range of phobias and obsessions to discover what is the most effective way to address each condition. He frankly reports what does not work, and pinpoints the techniques and therapies that work best for each condition, discussing why they work and how you can use them to change your behaviors. Inside you’ll discover the four natural healing factors for recovering from alcoholism; the vital difference between overeating and being overweight; the four therapies that work for depression, the pros and cons of anger—and much more.
- Print length336 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherVintage
- Publication dateJanuary 9, 2007
- Dimensions5.22 x 0.73 x 7.96 inches
- ISBN-101400078407
- ISBN-13978-1400078400
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Editorial Reviews
Review
“So much more sensible and lucid than most self-help gurus—constantly rewards anyone interested in individual psychology. Absolutely splendid.” —Booklist
“Extremely well-written. . . . Throughout, Seligman uses outcome studies to identify what works in making change.” —Library Journal
“Enlightening. . . . Seligman’s observations and theories are positive, realistic and sound.” —Publishers Weekly
About the Author
MARTIN E.P. SELIGMAN, PH.D., professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania and a past president of the American Psychological Association, is a leading motivational expert and an authority on learned helplessness. His many books include Learned Optimism, What You Can Change and What You Can't, Authentic Happiness, and The Optimistic Child. Dr. Seligman's research has been supported by the National Institute of Mental Health, the National Institute on Aging, the National Science Foundation, the MacArthur Foundation, and the Guggenheim Foundation.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
What Changes?
What Doesn't Change?
TWO WORLDVIEWS are in collision. On the one hand, this is the age ofpsychotherapy and the age of
self-improvement. Millions are struggling to change: We diet, we jog, we meditate. We adopt new modes of thought to counteract our depressions. We practice relaxation to curtail stress. We exercise to expand our memory and to quadruple our reading speed. We adopt draconian regimes to give up smoking. We raise our little boys and girls to androgyny. We come out of the closet or we try to become heterosexual. We seek to lose our taste for alcohol. We seek more meaning in life. We try to extend our life span.
Sometimes it works. But distressingly often, self-improvement and psychotherapy fail. The cost is enormous. We think we are worthless. We feel guilty and ashamed. We believe we have no willpower and that we are failures. We give up trying to change.
Trudy, like tens of millions of Americans, is desperate because she believes, quite incorrectly, that she is a failure. She finds herself even worse off after ten years of trying everything to lose weight.
Trudy weighed 175 pounds when she graduated from Brown a decade ago. Four times since, she has slimmed to under 125: Weight Watchers, Nutri-System, six months under the care of a private behavior therapist, and, last year,
Optifast. With each regime the weight came off quickly, if not painlessly. Each time the fat returned, faster and more of it. Trudy now weighs 195 and has given up.
In its faith that we can change anything, the self-improvement movement expects Trudy to succeed in her fight against fat, even though she is such an obvious loser in the weight game. On the other hand, there is a view that expects Trudy to fail. For this is not only the age of self-improvement and therapy, this is the age of biological psychiatry. The human genome will be nearly mapped before the millennium is over. The brain systems underlying sex, hearing, memory, left-handedness, and sadness are now known. Psychoactive drugs--external agents--quiet our fears, relieve our blues, bring us bliss, dampen our mania, and dissolve our delusions more
effectively than we can on our own. Our very personality--our intelligence and musical talent, even our religiousness, our conscience (or its absence), our politics, and our exuberance--turns out to be more the product of our genes than almost anyone would have believed a decade ago. Identical twins reared apart are uncannily similar in all these traits, almost as similar as they are for height and weight. The underlying message of the age of biological psychiatry is that our biology frequently makes changing, in spite of all our efforts, impossible.
But the view that all is genetic and biochemical and therefore cannot change is also very often wrong. Many individuals surpass their IQs, fail to "respond" to drugs, make sweeping changes in their lives, live on when their cancer is "terminal," or defy the hormones and brain circuitry that "dictate" lust or femininity or memory loss.
Clay is one of many who ignored the conventional wisdom that his problem was "biological" and found just the right psychotherapy, which worked quickly and permanently.
Out of the blue, about once a week, Clay, a software designer, was having panic attacks. His heart started to pound, he couldn't catch his breath, and he was sure he was going to die. After about an hour of terror, the panic subsided. Clay underwent four years of psychoanalysis, which gave him insight into his childhood feelings of abandonment but didn't lessen the panic attacks. Then he was on high doses of Xanax (alprazolam, a
tranquilizer) for a year; during that time he only panicked once a month, but he was so sleepy most of the time that he lost his two biggest accounts. So Clay stopped taking Xanax and the panic returned with unabated fury. Two years ago, he had ten sessions of cognitive therapy for panic disorder. He corrected his mistaken belief that the symptoms of anxiety (e.g., heart racing, shortness of breath) are catastrophic: symptoms of an impending heart attack. Since then he hasn't had a single attack.
As the ideologies of biological psychiatry and self-improvement collide, a resolution is apparent. There are some things about ourselves that can be changed, others that cannot, and some that can be changed only with extreme difficulty.
What can we succeed in changing about ourselves? What can we not? Why did Trudy fail and Clay succeed? When can we overcome our biology? When is our biology our destiny? These are the central questions I will address in this book.
A great deal is now known about change. Much of this knowledge exists only in the technical literature, and it has often been obfuscated by vested commercial, therapeutic, and, not the least, political interests. The
behaviorists long ago told the world that everything can be changed--intelligence, sexuality, mood, masculinity or femininity. The psychoanalysts still claim that with enough insight, all your personality traits can be "worked through." The Marxist left, the "politically correct," and the self-help industry added their voices to this convenient chorus. In contrast, the pharmaceutical companies, the biologists mapping the human genome, and the extreme right wing tell us that our character is fixed, that we are prisoners of our genes and the chemicals bathing our brains, that short of powerful drugs, genetic engineering, or brain surgery, nothing
basic can change: certainly not mood, or intelligence, or sexuality, or masculinity. These are all ideologically driven falsehoods.
Here are some facts about what you can change:
.Panic can be easily unlearned, but cannot be cured by medication.
.The sexual "dysfunctions"--frigidity, impotence, premature ejaculation--are easily unlearned.
.Our moods, which can wreak havoc with our physical health, are readily controlled.
.Depression can be cured by straightforward changes in conscious thinking or helped by medication, but it cannot be cured by insight into childhood.
.Optimism is a learned skill. Once learned, it increases achievement at work and improves physical health.
Here are some facts about what doesn't change:
.Dieting, in the long run, almost never works.
.Kids do not become androgynous easily.
.No treatment is known to improve on the natural course of recovery from alcoholism.
.Homosexuality does not become heterosexuality.
.Reliving childhood trauma does not undo adult personality problems.
To deal with what we cannot change, the first step, all too often evaded, is to know what about ourselves will not yield. But that is not the end of the matter; there are usually ways of coping. Much of successful living consists of learning to make the best of a bad situation. My purpose here, in part, is not only to point out what will not easily change but to impart the skills for coping with what you cannot change.
This book is the first accurate and factual guide to what you can change and what you cannot change. Since I am going to argue that so many loudly trumpeted claims about self-improvement, psychotherapy, medication, and
genetics are not to be believed, that some things about you will not change no matter how much you try, but that other things will change easily, you should know a little about my qualifications.
I have spent the last thirty years working on the question of "plasticity," academic jargon for what changes and what doesn't. I have worked both sides of the street. I started my academic life in the field pretentiously called "learning." Like most of the social sciences of the 1960s, the psychology of learning was enthusiastically environmental, its ideology a reaction to the still-fresh nightmare of the genetically minded Nazis. Just arrange the rewards and punishments right, learning theory held, and the organism (pigeon, adult human, rat, rhesus monkey, or toddler--it mattered so little that we simply called all of them "S's," for "Subjects") would absorb whatever you wanted to teach it.
My years in the learning laboratory taught me that there were many things organisms wouldn't learn no matter how ingenious the experiment. Rats wouldn't learn that tones predicted poisoning, and pigeons wouldn't learn to
peck keys to avoid getting shocked. (Humans are even more resistant to change--but more on that later.) My first book, The Biological Boundaries of Learning (1972), set out a theory, "Preparedness," of how natural selection shapes what we can and cannot learn. Evolution, acting through our genes and our nervous system, has made it simple for us to change in certain ways and almost impossible for us to change in others.
With the constraints that evolution places on learning very much in mind, I had to pick my problems carefully. I was and I am an unabashed do-gooder. I wanted to discover things that would relieve suffering--leaving knowledge for knowledge's sake to other, purer souls. Some psychological suffering seemed to me unyielding, unchangeable because of biology. Other problems seemed more tractable, solvable if only I was patient enough, worked hard enough, and was clever enough. I had to discover the "plastic" problems on which to work.
I chose to work on helplessness, depression, and pessimism. Each of these, I found, could be learned and could be unlearned. In 1975, I wrote Helplessness: On Depression, Development, and Death. Its focus was on how
helplessness was learned in the wake of uncontrollable bad events, and how this posture could devastate the rest of one's life. My most recent book, Learned Optimism (1991), was very much the opposite. It spelled out fifteen years of my research documenting the bad news: Habits of pessimism lead to depression, wither achievement, and undermine physical health. The good news is that pessimism can be unlearned, and that with its removal depression, underachievement, and poor health can be alleviated. My present research program is trying to prevent America's most costly mental illness--depression--rather than waiting to attempt cures after it strikes. All this is very much in the spirit of the age of self-improvement and the age of therapy.
A recurring theme of this book will be the need for truth in packaging in psychology and psychiatry; so I had best start by laying out my biases and my background.
The nature of the beast. This book is about the psychological beasts: depression, anxiety, stupidity, meanness, traumatic stress, alcoholism, fatness, sexual "perversion." When I was a callow learning theorist, I knew I was stalking after those beasts. I did not then realize that to understand them I had to take into account another beast, the human beast.
My ideology told me that environment is completely responsible for the psychological beasts. Stupidity is caused by ignorance; provide enough books and education, and you will cure stupidity. Depression and anxiety are caused by trauma, particularly bad childhood experience; minimize bad experience, raise children without adversity, and you will banish depression and anxiety. Prejudice is caused by unfamiliarity; get people acquainted, and prejudice will disappear. Sexual "perversion" is caused by repression and suppression; let it all hang out, and everyone will become lusty heterosexuals.
My bias now is that while this is not wholly wrong, it is seriously incomplete. The long evolutionary history of our species has also shaped our stupidities, our fears, our sadness, our crimes, what we lust after, and
much else besides. The species we are combines with what actually happens to us to burden us with psychological beasts or to protect us against them. To understand and undo such malevolent effects, we must face the human beast.
No sacred cows. This book walks a political tightrope. On one side is the racist segment of the right, fervently hoping that intelligence, femininity, and criminality are all entirely genetic. On the other side are many aging 1960s liberals and their "politically correct" campus heirs, condemning all who dare to speak ill of victims; failure, they say, results from poverty, racism, a bad upbringing, a malevolent system, under-privilege, deprivation--from anything but oneself.
My loyalty is not to the right or to the left. I have no patience for their sacred cows or their special pleading. My loyalty is to reasoned argument, to the unfashionable positions that deserve a hearing, to the thoughtful weighing of evidence. I realize that much of what I will say in this book is grist for the agendas of both political positions. I believe that facing the beast entails airing unpopular arguments. When the evidence points toward genetic causes, I will say so. When the evidence points toward a bad environment or bad parenting as responsible, I will say so. When the evidence points toward unchangeability, I will say so. When the evidence points to effective ways of changing, I will say that too.
Outcome studies as best evidence. Suppose for a moment that an epidemic of German measles is predicted. You are pregnant and you know that German measles causes birth defects. Two vaccines, Measex and Pneuplox, are on the
market. A famous Hollywood star says on TV that she was given Measex and didn't get German measles. An Olympic sprinter also adds her testimonial. Your best friend has heard good things about Measex. Pneuplox, on the other
hand, is not advertising. But it has been tested in what is called an outcome study, in which it was administered to five hundred people: Only two of these people contracted German measles. Another five hundred received a sham injection: Twenty-eight of them got German measles. Now assume that Measex has not been so tested. Which vaccine do you want? The one that has passed a rigorous outcome test, of course.
Making up your mind about self-improvement courses, psychotherapy, and medications for you and your family is difficult because the industries that champion them are enormous and profitable and try to sell themselves with
highly persuasive means: testimonials, case histories, word of mouth, endorsements ("My doctor is the best specialist on X in the East"), all slick forms of advertising. Just as this is no way to pick a vaccine or to
decide on whether to have chemotherapy versus radiation for cancer, this is no way to decide on whether to try a particular diet, or whether to send your father to a particular alcohol-treatment center, or whether to take a particular drug for depression or to have psychotherapy. Much better evidence--outcome studies--is now often available.
In the collision between self-improvement and biological psychiatry, the two sides have until recently used different sorts of evidence. The biological psychiatrists started with case histories but then built up to outcome studies--comparing a treated group with a group given a sugar pill, a placebo. The self-improvement and psychotherapy advocates still rely, for the most part, on single case histories and testimonials: before and after snapshots of some formerly obese person, a dramatic case report from a professional football player in Alcoholics Anonymous, a case of sudden recovery from profound depression following an angry confrontation with
Mother. Case histories make absorbing reading, but they are clinically very weak, and, usually, self-serving evidence.
Product details
- Publisher : Vintage; Reprint edition (January 9, 2007)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 336 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1400078407
- ISBN-13 : 978-1400078400
- Item Weight : 8.8 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.22 x 0.73 x 7.96 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #198,060 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #2,546 in Happiness Self-Help
- #4,620 in Personal Transformation Self-Help
- #48,465 in Religion & Spirituality (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D., is the Fox Leadership Professor of Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, the director of the Positive Psychology Network, and former president of the American Psychological Association. Among his twenty books are Learned Optimism and The Optimistic Child.
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Customers find the book provides solid information and scientific insights on a variety of topics. They describe it as an easy, well-written read that's concise and understandable. The writing style is described as clear and simple, yet deep.
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Customers find the book instructive and down-to-earth. They appreciate its well-researched, accessible writing style with scholarly endnotes. The scientific insights and sound theoretical basis for Positive Psychology are presented in a clear, understandable manner.
"...It is extremely readable, instructive and down to earth...." Read more
"...the professional reviews: "So much more sensible and lucid than most self-help gurus; Absolutely splendid, extremely well-written."..." Read more
"...I found the book very useful to understanding the origins of the closely aligned new fields of positive psychology and strengths-based leadership..." Read more
"...observed in decades of mental health practice and give some realistic hope based on research. Top notch!" Read more
Customers find the book easy to read and well-written. They say it provides solid information about various topics. Readers also mention that the author is knowledgeable and the book is excellent.
"This is a book that everyone should own...." Read more
"...and lucid than most self-help gurus; Absolutely splendid, extremely well-written."..." Read more
"Truly a great read. While there are possibly some biases here, the chapters on depression, sex, dieting and alcohol were just terrific, in my view...." Read more
"This book reads like an encyclopedia, with solid information regarding numerous topics such as anxiety, phobias, obsession, as well as sex, dieting..." Read more
Customers find the book's writing easy to read and understandable. They describe it as clear, concise, and to the point. The book is described as simple yet deep exploration of the research available.
"...It is extremely readable, instructive and down to earth...." Read more
"...Dr. Seligman presents evidence-based information in a readily understandable manner regarding what works and what doesn't...." Read more
"Not well edited or fact checked. Reads more like a rhetorical polemic than the scientific tome I expected." Read more
"...Well, thank God for Dr. Seligman. The book is a brilliantly simple yet deep exploration of the research available on treatments for various..." Read more
Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on June 23, 2000This is a book that everyone should own. In this book, Dr. Seligman wades through the swamp of self-help, psycho-babble,new-age gurus, common-sense ideas that "everyone" knows , medical thought, etc, etc in order to discover- WHAT REALLY WORKS. Not what we wish would work, not what seems like it should work, not what common wisdom believes works but what in clinical trials of real people has been demonstrated to work. What percentage has been helped, what are the side-effects and has this help been long-term or transitory. It is extremely readable, instructive and down to earth. He addresses the current state of treatment for: Anxiety, panic attacks, phobias, obsessions, depression, anger, post-traumatic stress, sex, dieting, alcohol. For most of these topics I learned more in his one chapter than in the several books which I have read on them. If you are on a diet, about to begin a diet, or considering professional help in one of the areas above - please read the chapter in this book first. You will save yourself an incredible amount of time, money and heartbreak in the long run. It will also give you the best chance of actually solving the problem since you will be directed towards the most effective treatment right from the beginning of treatment rather than (hopefully) eventually finding it by trial and error. I only hope that Dr Seligman writes an updated version of this book sometime in the near future in order to keep up with new research findings.
- Reviewed in the United States on November 20, 2019This book is required reading for anyone serious about understanding behavior, theirs or anyone elses. I agree with the professional reviews: "So much more sensible and lucid than most self-help gurus; Absolutely splendid, extremely well-written." Dr. Seligman presents evidence-based information in a readily understandable manner regarding what works and what doesn't. If you're seeking safety, passive-dependent, or in love with being a victim this book will upset you.
outcome studies to identify what works in making change.” —Library Journal
“Enlightening. . . . Seligman’s observations and theories are positive, realistic and sound.” —Publishers Weekly
- Reviewed in the United States on June 4, 2014From its beginning in the 1960s cognitive psychology has developed science/evidence based approaches that have proven more effective then drugs and other methods in treating people with depression, phobias, obsessions, addictions, eating disorders, and other life-disrupting problems. University of Pennsylvania professor of psychology, Martin Seligman, established a successful track record researching, developing, and documenting treatment techniques.
In the late 1980s he and his colleagues began exploring how they could build a science-based wellness model to help people who are doing fine elevate their lives to a higher state of well-being. Seligman’s 1990 book, Learned Optimism (highly recommended), laid the foundation for the now fast-growing field of positive psychology.
A cornerstone of positive psychology leading to higher well-being is building on our strengths. As we get ever deeper into helping our Clients implement strengths-based leadership development I’ve been tracing back the foundations of these powerful approaches.
What You Can Change...And What You Can’t was published a few years before Seligman’s presidency of the American Psychology Association and his subsequent founding of the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania. Part of the book’s subtle is “learning to accept who you are.” This resonates very strongly with authentic leadership and playing to your strengths rather than fixing weaknesses. A key exception is a weakness that’s so large people can’t see past it to a leader’s strengths.
Seligman cites research that half of our personality is genetic. He goes on to conclude, “the other half of personality comes from what you do and from what happens to you—and this opens the door for therapy and self-improvement.” That’s what this book focuses on.
What You Can Change… covers a very wide swath of personal growth with focusing on changes to emotional life such as anger, depression, anxiety, and stress as well as changing habits like dieting (which he argues is largely useless) or alcohol, and shedding the skins of childhood. Seligman tells us that research shows “there are some things about ourselves that can be changed, others that cannot, and some that can be changed only with extreme difficulty.”
I found the book very useful to understanding the origins of the closely aligned new fields of positive psychology and strengths-based leadership development. It’s an insightful book for readers interested in the history of these areas or struggling with the topics covered. Otherwise I’d recommend you skip this book and read Seligman’s other books, Learned Optimism, Authentic Happiness, or Flourish.
- Reviewed in the United States on July 22, 2016Truly a great read. While there are possibly some biases here, the chapters on depression, sex, dieting and alcohol were just terrific, in my view. They resonate with what I have observed in decades of mental health practice and give some realistic hope based on research. Top notch!
- Reviewed in the United States on November 27, 2018Not well edited or fact checked. Reads more like a rhetorical polemic than the scientific tome I expected.
- Reviewed in the United States on April 24, 2005Seligman is one of the most distinguished psychologists in America, and this attempt to have a rigorous look at the suggestions of the pioneers of self-help is very welcome.
Many people are not aware of the size and the quality of a lot of the research into personal change and personal development, and this book summarizes a fair bit of it.
Nobody is going to agree with everything written by ANY author, and he is overly pessimistic about the chances for helping people with weight problems and addictions. But with that caveat this book is highly recommended to anyone who wants to improve themselves and the world around them.
Top reviews from other countries
PatriciaReviewed in Canada on April 9, 20185.0 out of 5 stars Excellent read
This is a fantastic book about behaviour modification, depression and anxiety. I read it about 7 years ago and was quite impressed with it. It touches on everything from addiction to other compulsive behaviours and the origins of it. For anyone struggling with the above this is a fantastic book. I was a program facilitator at the time I got the first version of this and I was influenced by it.
Sakshi ChauhanReviewed in India on April 11, 20195.0 out of 5 stars A book couldn't be more better.
Loved this one. Has a lot of information about stuff that is crucial for self improvement. Takes us away from confusions during the period of growth.
Freq travellerReviewed in France on February 3, 20165.0 out of 5 stars Great book, recommended reading.
Great book. I read some of the author's other books and I found this one different but also very interesting. Quick read buth worth your time and a few Euros.
Antony BartlettReviewed in the United Kingdom on August 18, 20105.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book. I feel I understand the human condition better for having read it.
I found this to be an excellent book. I feel I understand the human condition better for having read it. Many of the chapters focus on a single difficultly, e.g. Anxiety, Phobias, Depression, Anger, Weight, Alcohol. Seligman describes what is known about each, and considers the outcomes of various treatments based on scientific studies which he references (without this intruding on the main text's readability). He is honest about it when he goes beyond the evidence and ventures his own opinion. As an example of the kind of question he considers: In treating alcoholism, should the goal be total abstinence, or controlled moderate drinking?
It's best to point out this is not a book about Positive Psychology, as that is what Seligman is probably best known for. And yet probably very relevant to Positive Psychology all the same - not much point in studying human strengths without some sort of primer on human weaknesses.
I found the book very readable, comprehensive and enjoyable (for some reason I struggled with "Authentic Happiness" by the same author).
Just in the chapter on dieting I would have liked more detail, or suggestions for further reading at the popular science level of this book (as I've already said, there are plenty unobtrusive references to original research). It's still a great chapter though, and in my view this stuff about dieting can't be repeated enough in our weight-obsessed culture:
- You can lose weight in a month or two on almost any diet.
- Most people gain almost all their weight back in four to five years, with perhaps 10 percent remaining thin (there are about a dozen well-executed long-term studies involving thousands of dieters, and all of them show basically the same dismal result).
Winston FinlayReviewed in the United Kingdom on July 17, 20165.0 out of 5 stars Martin Seligman......the go-to professor of modern-day self improvement and positive psychology
A peer in modern-day Self-Improvement. No BS from this professor. Research studies support his comments and if they are insufficient he will say so. Genuinely and sincerely giving helpful information, knowledge and wisdom. Highly recommend reading his literature.








