To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number.
What You Really Really Want: The Smart Girl's Shame-Free Guide to Sex and Safety Paperback – October 25, 2011
|New from||Used from|
Best Books of the Year So Far in fiction, nonfiction, mysteries, children's books, and much more.
Frequently Bought Together
Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought
"Too many books in this genre promise certain drive-your-man-wild tricks, or they take a side in the politicized debate over hookup culture. Friedman instead has one thing on her agenda: Getting girls to explore and embrace their own authentic sexual identities without shame, fear or guilt. Instead of arguing for empowerment through one-night stands or, conversely, abstinence, she leaves it up to young women to decide what it is that’s best for them. But she also offers guidance along the way, urging them to critically examine the social pressures and media messages that have shaped their understandings of sexiness, sexual fulfillment and love." Salon.com
"It is a book that many readers may wish they had read earlier in their lives, and as a prospective parent, I'm looking forward to making my children read every last word of it." Rabble.CA
"While basically permissive, this valuable guide can also help readers with differing views to organize a personal groundwork according their own perspective. Recommended for women and older teens who seek self-insight." Library Journal
In a world of Pussycat Dolls and virginity pledges, What You Really Really Want carves out a path for real women to have real sex on their own terms. The information and exercises in this book have the power to change your sex life for good." Susie Bright, activist, author of Big Sex Little Death
"There is more significant, sex-positive, shame-free, life-changing knowledge in a few pages of this book than you'll find in the entire public school sex education curriculum." Tristan Taormino, sex educator, author of The Secrets of Great G-Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation
Top Customer Reviews
I was able to review the galley in advance, and I am so tremendously excited it's about to debut. As someone who works counseling women of all ages about sex, sexual health and sexuality, I often hear about how hard some find it to even figure out what they really want, let alone know how to start seeking it out. I feel like I finally have an utterly excellent book I can point them to to help them do just that, and am so grateful for that.
This is a highly inclusive book, which is always refreshing, and it completely avoids prescribing one given sexual or relationship model, sexuality or approach. It does a magnificent job of providing creative tools for the reader to find their own way based on who they are and what they want, uniquely.
What this book ISN'T is a psycho-analytic walk through various fetishes or kinks; if that's what you want, this probably isn't the book for you. It's also not a book about the mystical power of sex - although it's certainly sex positive, a big message of the book is that we should each come to our own desire as we want to, and for some of us, that might mean recognizing that we don't have a ton of it. What it will provide is a series of challenges - workable, approachable challenges - for readers to confront as they delve into their own interests and how to share those interests with potential partners down the line.
What You Really Really Want is a workbook full of in-depth exercises for the reader, as well as observations and lessons to help you explore what you're comfortable and uncomfortable with and how to communicate those feelings with your partner(s).
I had the privilege of attending a reading Friedman gave in Vancouver when this book launched and it's really impressive the amount of time and work she put in with a group of volunteers from diverse backgrounds testing the exercises and lessons in this book. If you want to really get to the root of how you're feeling and thinking about sex and how you can build a more fulfilling sex life around that idea of "enthusiastic consent", this will be a really helpful resource.
I only wish I knew of an equivalent resource for young men.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Bought this book for school and found it to be an easy read as well as very informative.Published 8 months ago by carrie booze
Very insightful and a helpful tool for understanding sexuality on a personal level as well as a universal one. Read morePublished on August 27, 2014 by Taylor
Good quick read. You're likely to skim to the parts most useful to you. Overall great message and purpose.Published on August 23, 2014 by nck
I love this book - I bought copies for all my students and we did lots of the activities together.Published on March 11, 2014 by J-RZA
I'm not a prude, but I decided this was a little too sexy and permissive for my fifteen year-old girl.Published on November 8, 2013 by H. Parker
Despite claiming to create a zone free of "shame, blame, and fear", as the author puts it, this book has its own biases. Read morePublished on September 28, 2013 by lady-disdain
This is an amazing and interactive book about your sexual relationship with yourself, and how your attitudes towards sex affect you and whether or not those attitudes serve you... Read morePublished on July 20, 2013 by Lauren L
Radical feminists like Friedman have always interpreted any standards of intimacy that restrain men and women to be somehow a war against women, a rejection of female desire, etc. Read morePublished on March 4, 2013 by Rodolfo
This is one of those books where the author really has better work else ware. It really did not live up to my expectations. Read morePublished on January 18, 2013 by Filmmaster 6