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When The Bough Breaks: Forever After the Death of a Son or Daughter Paperback – March 3, 1998
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This is a "how-to" book one hopes to the Almighty one will never need. When the Bough Breaks takes a serious and sensitive look at how to cope with the loss of a child. Can one ever recover from such a loss? The author seems convinced we do not, but offers ways to rebuild our lives and recover our hope and our ability to go on with our lives and not have the death of a child turn into the death of our own hearts. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Bernstein argues that parents don't recover from the death of a child so much as they adapt to it, forever altering the way they think and act--often with negative consequences. To provide some understanding of this complex situation, she interviewed 55 parents whose children had died. This research, plus her own experiences (Bernstein's son died when he was 25), allows her to examine the various stages of grief, the mourning process, the effects on family and social relationships, and the emotional differences between facing a sudden death (such as a murder) and an anticipated death (such as a terminal illness). She also probes the different ways men and women tend to mourn. This can cause problems, especially when a husband's comparative reticence makes a wife believe that he's relatively unaffected by the death of their child. Compassionate and revealing, it should aid both mental-health professionals and parents dealing with this kind of devastating loss. Brian McCombie --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Top customer reviews
The first book which mentions that especially unusual deaths of single children, suddenly dying, without any comprehensible reason. Not suicide, not accident - just this simple explanation: "The cause of death is indefinable".Cruel words knocking in my mind as long as I live. - Do I live? I doubt. He was just hardly 20.
There are a lot of sentences in the book familiar with my thoughts. I also see my photos "BC" - there is a stranger seeing back to me. After 41 months every morning is yet a beginning of a new battle. There are nice days and there are worst days. Shipwrecked in the stormy open sea, without seeing the old familiar calming ports. Always searching Him, our beloved Son - knowing exactly that He is nowhere. Nowhere and everywhere.
After reading this book I feel myself stronger, to bear my remaining days with this endless pain and suffering, however highly appreciate every nice minutes, every little time spending with my dearest life partner, the father of our wonderful unique son. With my mother and with our dear friends, our life-savers day-to-day.
Every helper ought to read this book before they would say those silliest baloneys about "how to mourn your single child *correctly*".
The past is gone, there is no future without him, the one reality is the present. Keeping all of those special gifts, together with all memories of Him. He certainly doesn't want us to live as zombies - we are adults enough to continue our life with straight posture, hardly facing our destiny, we are able to laugh, smile, cry, sob, we are able to glad of any beauty in the fleeting days.
And there will be one happy day at the end, our smiling and shining son will wait and greete us - he will be pleased of us, because we don't waste our remaining time without rhyme or reason, because we love each other in every hours, because we help to each other - as we can.
I never know when the next wave will hit - only that it will.
I work in hospice and have experience with the journey of dying and the grief of the patient and loved ones. There is no knowledge, skill, or the experiences shared by others that can prepare one for the loss of their child.
I am deeply thankful for the author's dedication in her research, energy, and the love of her lost child that produced a book that speaks directly from/to grieving parents.
Yes I am different. I will continue to redevelop my new life and evolve. Through it all, I am and will be okay.
Thank you for helping me as I begin the process of creating my detoured life's journey.
Most recent customer reviews
If you are like me, and need something more sensitive at a time of loss, this...Read more