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Kathy Marshack

When Empathy Fails: How to stop those hell-bent on destroying you ("ASPERGER SYNDROME" & Relationships: 5 Books to Rebuild Your Life Together) Paperback – March 12, 2018

by Kathy Marshack Ph.D. (Author)

16 ratings

Book 3 of 4: "ASPERGER SYNDROME" & Relationships: 5 Books to Rebuild Your Life Together

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Have you ever… • Felt victimized, been swindled or lied to by your best friend; • Loaned money to loved ones who squandered the gift and never paid you back; • Had to fight unscrupulous prosecutors for your freedom; • Been forced to defend yourself from your vengeful ex or your ungrateful children; • Bumped into a beguiling, but shifty, stranger? If so, you’ve crossed paths with someone operating with Empathy Dysfunction (EmD). In this book, psychologist, Dr. Kathy Marshack, helps you not only understand why this is happening, but how to protect yourself from those hell-bent on destroying you. Narcissists, sociopaths, addicts, brain injured, autistics, a vengeful ex, corrupt city officials and greedy neighbors. What do these people have in common? According to Licensed Psychologist, Dr. Kathy Marshack, they all lack empathy. She ought to know. She endured a 12-year perfect storm of divorce, lawsuits, assaults, cyberstalking, false arrests, predatory prosecution, and the loss of her children to parental alienation. Throughout all these experiences she noticed there was a common theme, namely people with Empathy Dysfunction (EmD). Dr. Kathy Marshack does more than share her unbelievable true story, she shares: • Hard-learned lessons on how to stand up for yourself when dealing with people who could literally care less about you. • A way to identify those with a dysfunctional lack of empathy using the new Empathy Dysfunction Scale (EmD Scale), so you can shield yourself from the destruction they leave in their wake. • Clues you should never ignore for your own safety – like a rotten neighbor, friends who start believing the nasty gossip spread by your ex-partner, or a nagging feeling you’re being watched. Pay attention, it may be because “they” really are out to get you. • Warrior training to protect yourself from dangerous people. If you’ve been hurt just once, or maybe too many times to count, by a person with EmD, apply the warrior training in this book, increase your own empathy to a higher level, and reclaim the beautiful life you are meant to live.

Print length

554 pages
Language

English
Publication date

March 12, 2018
Dimensions

6 x 1.25 x 9 inches
ISBN-10

1979969000
ISBN-13

978-1979969000
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Editorial Reviews

Review

From Kirkus Reviews:A hard-luck memoir, intertwined with life lessons on empathy.This account of psychologist Marshack's (Entrepreneurial Couples, 2017, etc.) traumatic trials and tribulations will likely elicit great empathy for the author herself. In a personal narrative that's troubling but often engaging, she documents the fallout from her divorce, her challenging relationship with her daughters (one is autistic and the other suffers from the effects of a brain injury), and her arduous, toxic legal battle with neighbors over property rights. It's almost unimaginable what the author goes through, and following her journey from chapter to chapter could leave one emotionally spent. Her negative experiences led her to consider why some people have empathy and others do not; her reflection resulted in the "Empathy Dysfunction Scale (EmD Scale)," which she says can help readers "identify the kind of people you're dealing with in your life." Overall, though, the book largely concentrates, almost to a fault, on the injustices that the author says that she suffered during a very ugly dispute with authorities and neighbors over residential land use. Indeed, the extent to which the book describes the case--with accompanying reprinted emails and property drawings--is extraordinary, and its tone sometimes feels almost vindictive. However, the book is engaging when it addresses Marshack's five levels of "EmDs." The second chapter does a particularly good job of describing each one of these, ranging from EmD-0 ("having zero degrees of empathy but not intending harm") to EmD-5 ("epitomizing empathy"). By the end of the author's sad but engaging tale, the EmD levels do resonate, and the implications of empathy dysfunction become clear.A compelling, if sometimes-painful, read that offers a lesson in personal resilience.

About the Author

Kathy J. Marshack,Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist with more than 40 years of experience as amarriage and family therapist and business coach. Dr. Marshack received her bachelor'sdegree in psychology from Portland State University, her master's degree fromthe University of Hawaii, and her doctorate in psychology from the FieldingInstitute. She is a member of the AmericanPsychological Association.

Dr. Marshack is a prolific writer who pulls inspiration fromher extensive research, insight from counseling thousands of clients, and herown life experiences. Her first book, EntrepreneurialCouples: Making It Work at Work and at Home, published in 1998 andrereleased in 2017, explores theunique lifestyle of couples that run a business together.She was also a contributor to the nationally acclaimed book, Sixty Things to Do When You Turn Sixty, 2006. After discovering how many people werestruggling with a family member with Autism Spectrum Disorder, without anysupport or guidance, she wrote two books: Goingover the Edge: Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome in 2009,and in 2013, Out of Mind - Out of Sight: Parentingwith a Partner with Asperger Syndrome (ASD). Her latest book, When Empathy Fails, is her mostpowerful and intimate book to date.

Dr. Marshack has been extensively profiled in the media,including Kiplinger's, The New YorkTimes, Inc. Magazine, USA Today, BusinessWeek, and has appeared on CNN, TheLifetime Channel, BBC, and NationalPublic Radio. She also works as an investigative journalist for the USObserver.

Learn more about Dr. Marshack's articles, onlineconsultation and therapy, as well as her International Meetup for Partners& Family of Adults with ASD, by visiting kmarshack.com.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform (March 12, 2018)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 554 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1979969000
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1979969000
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.62 pounds
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 1.25 x 9 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #2,201,036 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #2,832 in Abuse Self-Help
- #4,411 in Emotional Mental Health

Customer Reviews:
16 ratings

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Kathy Marshack

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Welcome.

Right from the start, I want you to know:

• You are not alone.

• Your voice matters.

• I am here to help you --- through my books, my online courses, and my international online communities

I am Dr. Kathy Marshack, psychologist and author. As a professional I specialize in helping my clients who are in Complex Relationships that are tough to treat with conventional psychotherapy. The short list (but not all inclusive) of couples and families in Complex Relationships include:

• “Asperger Syndrome” or High Functioning Autism

• Codependency

• High Conflict Divorce

• Empathy Dysfunction

• Entrepreneurial Couples

My credentials go back decades including a Master’s Degree in Social Work, and a Doctorate in Psychology. I’ve worked in every conceivable professional setting from child protective services, home health agencies, public schools, colleges, hospitals, and mental health clinics. I’ve covered lots of territory in those years, as you can imagine; everything from working with young children, teens, couples, families, seniors, and entrepreneurs; and with every conceivable diagnosis.

I’ve trained with the best too. My favored clinical skills include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Ericksonian Hypnosis, and Neuro-Emotional Technique (NET). I find these techniques incredibly powerful in creating elegant and long-lasting healing and change.

But as valuable as my education, training and experience is, I also know that each one of you is as unique and special as your fingerprints. Did you know that no one on the planet shares your fingerprints? That’s right.

What this means is that there is no “one size fits all.” That’s why I have designed my course and communities with differing levels of service depending on your needs: teleconferences, small intimate video conferences, community forums, and one-on-one video conferences with me if you like.

You may already know that I am the author of several books to help you with your NeuroDivergent relationship.

“Going Over the Edge? --- Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome.”

“Out of Mind-Out of Sight: Parenting with a Partner with Asperger Syndrome (ASD).” "When Empathy Fails: How to Stop Those Hell-bent on Destroying You."

“Asperger Syndrome & Relationships: Everything You Need to Survive a NeuroDivergent Life” (an eBook).

"Empathy is More Than Words: Groundbreaking Tools for NeuroDivergent Relationships," has just been released. It is available on Amazon in Kindle and paperback.

There is one more thing I want you to know about me. I can relate personally to every single one of the Complex Relationship bullet points listed above. I was raised by a High Functioning Autistic mother, and an alcoholic father. My eldest daughter is on the Autism Spectrum. I’ve been an entrepreneur for many, many years, and raised my children in this environment. I too went through a hostile divorce, including parental alienation.

Just like you, I went through a lot of suffering before it occurred to me to take another approach. I learned to build resilience. I learned to use what I know as a psychologist to reshape the outcome. I counted on the principle that Michelle Obama champions, “When they go low, we go high.” This doesn’t mean that you don’t get hurt, or angry during all of those trying times. What it means is that when you’re up against the harshness of a Complex Relationship, “your response has to reflect the solution,” according to our former First Lady.

I call this response, Radiant Empathy) something I describe in detail in my book “Empathy is More Than Words.” Life isn’t perfect, and you will keep making mistakes. But with Radiant Empathy you will learn to use your mistakes as feedback to refashion your life for greater healing, love and happiness.

Learn more about Dr. Marshack's articles, online courses, and consultation by visiting www.kmarshack.com.

***

For more information and to stay up to date, please visit:

Courses: https://kmarshack.com/courses/

Blog: https://kmarshack.com/category/blog/

Community: https://www.meetup.com/Asperger-Syndrome-Partners-Family-of-Adults-with-ASD/

Events: https://asd-ntrelationships.com/coming-events/

Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/Kathy.Marshack.Ph.D

Instagram page: https://www.instagram.com/kathymarshack/

Newsletter: http://eepurl.com/gn8Hdn

Contact & Appointments: https://kmarshack.com/contact/

Customer reviews

3.8 out of 5

16 global ratings

5 star		56%
4 star		12%
3 star		12%
2 star 0% (0%)		0%
1 star		20%

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Top reviews from the United States

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Julie Glass, ND

A Must Have!

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on March 6, 2019

Verified Purchase

How do you make lemonade out of life’s challenges? Combine equal parts of trauma, tenacity, courage, mama-bear energy and the determination to help others. Add heaping dollops of empathy and wisdom and you have this book. Dr. Kathy Marshack survived the unthinkable, but instead of hiding in shame she chose to tell her story loudly and clearly, offering others in relationships with unscrupulous people a roadmap out of their suffering. She designed the Empathy Dysfunction Scale to deepen our understanding of the range of human empathy disorders and what personality characteristics to look for at each level. I am proud to call Dr. Marshack friend and colleague, to have known her for a decade, and to have shared many patients with her. If you are struggling with mean people, confused about your loved one’s behavior, or a victim of parental alienation I highly recommend you read this book immediately.

Dr. Julie Glass
Naturopathic Doctor, Salem Oregon

3 people found this helpful

Helpful

annah

I thought I was alone

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on June 2, 2018

Verified Purchase

My story on a much smaller scale. If you’ve been bullied and smear campaigned don’t even attempt to make sense of it; it is intended to not make sense and to disarm, manipulate, control, and in some cases destroy you. The author exposes how this can happen to someone, while all along, whatever the situation is, it, and those without empathy gain traction and will destroy you, or at least make your life miserable, if you don’t protect yourself. She offers multiple examples through her own story that describes how to identify harmful people and situations that can hurt and alienate someone through overt and covert actions. It isn’t paranoia; it really happens. Ultimately one is left alone to lay down or protect oneself.
Raising awareness of this phenomenon, I believe, is of utmost importance in a world that is continually changing and gives us less and less time to adjust, leaving us vulnerable to such things.

8 people found this helpful

Helpful

Amazon Customer

Repetitive, focused nearly exclusively on author's experiences

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on July 13, 2019

Verified Purchase

I have read other work of Marschak's and I have an Asperger's husband and one son who is affected also. I have a workplace with several narcissists and one extreme sociopath. I thought this would be helpful. However, it is an undisciplined, highly repetitive retelling of the author's own horrific experiences, without enough structure to discern her definitions of stages of empathy, how to recognize them, and how to deal with them. I was very, very disappointed.

10 people found this helpful

Helpful

JmyLo

Not everyone has the ability to empathize. You need to know this.

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on October 18, 2018

Verified Purchase

This book is extremely enlightening if you have ever found yourself in a constant cycle of relationships where you have been used and manipulated or just plain confused! I am happy to say this is one I have needed all my life. Very helpful to have tips now to keep myself safe I have never had before and life is finally moving forward. Anyone struggling with relationships would be helped reading this book.

6 people found this helpful

Helpful

Laura Perry

Everyone needs to read this book

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on December 15, 2018

If you can't get this book yourself, ask your library to purchase a copy so you and others can check it out. As an Uber driver, I have twice used the knowledge I gained from Kathy Marshack's narrative to remove myself from what could have been a disastrous situation when my rider manipulated me into a difficult place. I was able to set boundaries, communicate my intentions clearly, then get out with enough clarity of mind that I could clearly defend my actions if a complaint was lodged. I've heard that one in a hundred people are sociopaths; being in customer service means I meet at least one a week, and in some cases, I become the target of manipulative behavior. Kathy's book shows clearly how to identify these interactions and how to respond; I just wish I could have found it sooner. The only thing I think could improve this book is if it could be split into two books; it's huge, and it's a lot of information, though it's delivered clearly, with some reiteration to make each successive point clear as Dr. Marshack builds to the undeniable conclusion.

6 people found this helpful

Helpful

paula

Not recommended

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on February 13, 2020

I want to like this book but found it was a waste of my money. Not any practical advices but the stories of complaining others.

5 people found this helpful

Helpful

Nathan Boyd

Wonderful and Insightful

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on February 25, 2020

I love how Kathy uses her own experiences, people she met while in her travels, and her story in a safe way to illustrate different types of humans as it relates to empathy.

Helpful

Darkest Queen

This “therapist” needs to seek therapy.

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on February 18, 2020

She can detail a smear campaign as it seems she’s a pro at smear campaigns herself. This was her playing the victim and blaming people for not wanting her toxicity in their lives. Do not recommend.

4 people found this helpful

Helpful

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