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When a Man Faces Grief / A Man You Know Is Grieving Paperback – September 1, 1998
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About the Author
James E. Miller is a clergyman, grief counselor, writer, and photographer. He is the author of 17 books.
Thomas Golden is a practicing psychologist and writer, with one other book to his credit.
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The book is divided into two parts. The first half seeks to assist the bereaved themselves; the second half seeks to educate those who are around the bereaved person (usually a male) in order to assist him through the grief process. Thomas R. Golden is listed as first author of the first half of the book; James E. Miller is listed as first author of the second half.
"When a Man Faces Grief/ A Man You Know is Grieving" is unique in the way it is set up: The front cover shows a winter scene of snow-covered trees; the back cover shows the photographic negative of that same scene. The reader will also notice that the after finishing the first half of the book ("When a Man Faces Grief"), the second half is printed upside down. To read the second half ("A Man You Know is Grieving"), the reader closes the book and flips the entire volume over towards himself or herself to the cover with the photographic negative.
Each half consists of twelve, 2-page chapters, followed by a short summary list of ideas.
While reading this book, I was reminded of Alla Renee Bozarth's, "A Journey Through Grief." However, the Golden/Miller book concerns itself with the more masculine kind of grieving. And whereas Bozarth's book is geared almost exclusively for the bereaved, Golden and Miller's book is also for those who are around the bereaved person.
This book is very readable. It is similar to Thomas R. Golden's more in depth "Swallowed By a Snake: The Gift of the Masculine Side of Healing." However, I could definately recognize the presence of not one, but two male voices in Golden and Miller's jointly authored work.
I very much recommend this book, even though it is a small one that can be read very quickly.
There is an appropriate emphasis on the ways in which man differ from women in grieving, less emotion, fewer words, desire to do something, and so on. I like this emphasis particularly in the part addressed to a loved one, likely to be a woman. It cautions her not to be critical because the man seems to be keeping a lot to himself.
Yet men often do go too far in holding it in. The part addressed to the man suggests ways in which he can act positively to deal with his grief. Words like "action", "courage" and "strength" are wisely used.
James Miller, who is really responsible for the book, published it and a number of other brief but excellent books on dying and death with his Willowgreen Press, in Fort Wayne, IN.