- Paperback: 240 pages
- Publisher: Touchstone (July 9, 2002)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0743211456
- ISBN-13: 978-0743211451
- Product Dimensions: 5.4 x 0.6 x 8.4 inches
- Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 66 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #295,271 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number.
Other Sellers on Amazon
+ $3.99 shipping
+ Free Shipping
+ Free Shipping
When Friendship Hurts: How To Deal With Friends Who Betray, Abandon, Or Wound You Paperback – July 9, 2002
|New from||Used from|
See the Best Books of the Month
Looking for something great to read? Browse our editors' picks for the best books of the month in fiction, nonfiction, mysteries, children's books, and much more.
Frequently bought together
Customers who bought this item also bought
Does anything hurt worse than betrayal by a close friend? Sociologist and friendship expert Jan Yager (Friendshifts: The Power of Friendship and How It Shapes Our Lives) explores failed, hurtful, and destructive friendships in When Friendship Hurts.
The book describes 21 types of potentially negative friends. The "Rival," for example, is envious to the point of malice. The "Blood-sucker" expects you to be there every moment. The "Controller" must be in charge of everything, from where you meet for lunch to whom you date. Yager lays out strategies for dealing with the problems when you want to keep the friendship, while also warning about extreme behavior and discussing triggers that lead to friendship conflicts, such as jealousy, anger, and change (of marital status or job, for example). Yager also guides you to examine your own destructive or harmful traits and recognize patterns in your family background that affect your friendships.
Overall, this book will help you learn how to deal with destructive friendships--when and how to save them, when and how to end them, and how to cope when a business friendship goes wrong. Yager, who has appeared on Oprah and other TV programs, also encourages you to celebrate the joys of positive friendships. --Joan Price
From Publishers Weekly
Sociologist Yager (Friendshifts) has been studying and writing about friendship since the 1980s. Drawing on the results of 180 questionnaires, as well as earlier studies she conducted, Yager focuses here on what to do when friendships go bad. Successful friendships, according to Yager, are marked by trust, honesty, empathy and commonality characteristics that may be compromised when a once-supportive relationship turns sour. When this happens as it inevitably does in the course of one's life friends may become self-absorbed, overly dependent, highly critical or even betray one another. Underlying childhood issues, such as low self-esteem, intense sibling rivalry and abusive parenting often prevent adults from forming satisfactory friendships. The author outlines a variety of coping techniques that committed friends can follow as they work through negative patterns that are eroding their relationship. She also explains how to recognize a friendship that is so destructive it must be ended (e.g., if a friend isn't there for you when your parent dies, it's a sign the friendship's over), how to actually end the friendship (try saying "I'm busy" when the friend asks to get together), how to detect "harmful" people before you become friends with them (examples are the "taker" and the "one-upper") and how to deal with friendships at work (Yager is convinced these friendships should remain casual). This valuable book will be a rescuer to all readers struggling to deal with an ailing friendship.
Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc.
Try the Kindle edition and experience these great reading features:
Read reviews that mention
Showing 1-8 of 66 reviews
There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later.
No friend is perfect and ultimately most of us manage relationships that have their disadvantages; in some cases we tolerate toxic friendships for too long when we should in fact be ending them.
I liked the thoughtful and sympathetic tone of this author immediately. Her methodical approach provides a useful framework and objectivity for assessing your friendships, especially useful in our complex and emotional personal lives, or if your inner voice is telling you something is wrong. This is a likable and accessible book that is very easy to get through.
The author gives a series of amusing true-life case-studies and scenarios from her research and experience which provide food for thought. She also summarizes the important points in a variety of common situations that will help to crystallize the way you think about the people in your life. You will also find yourself reflecting on your own behaviour and how to be a better friend. Her advice about how to conduct online friendships pre-dates facebook, yet still manages to be relevant.
She systematizes her points into lists, allowing an organized analysis of your friendships; she also gives helpful advice on your options and recommends useful ways of managing difficult scenarios.