- Paperback: 228 pages
- Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform; 1 edition (July 4, 2013)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 149040709X
- ISBN-13: 978-1490407098
- Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.5 x 8.5 inches
- Shipping Weight: 12.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 344 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #52,566 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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When Love Is a Lie: Narcissistic Partners & the Pathological Relationship Agenda Paperback – July 4, 2013
This month's Book With Buzz: "The Lying Game" by Ruth Ware
From the instant New York Times bestselling author of blockbuster thrillers "In a Dark, Dark Wood" and "The Woman in Cabin 10" comes Ruth Ware’s chilling new novel, "The Lying Game." See more
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From the Author
[Also by Zari Ballard: Stop Spinning, Start Breathing (Narcissist Abuse Recovery: Managing the Memories That Keep Us Addicted), Narcissist Free: A Survival Guide for the No-Contact Break-Up, & When Evil Is a Pretty Face (Female Narcissists & the Pathological Relationship Agenda)]
Deliberately non-clinical in content, When Love Is a Lie is a book based solely on my personal perspective and experience concerning narcissistic behavior. In other words, readers seeking medical explanations for narcissistic behavior or positive coping strategies for dealing with a narcissistic or psychopathic partner will be disappointed. When Love Is a Lie is about recognizing the reality of our situation when we love a narcissist or sociopath... and also about understanding our own codependency to the very drama that we claim to hate. It is my hope that, by demystifying typical narcissistic behavior patterns, we can move away from fear and escape the darkness before too much time has passed. I will outline the logical thought process that, after 12-long years with my own narcissistic abuser, helped me to accept the final discard and mentally let go of the pathological, narcissistic lie. It's a process for which I am most grateful and one that I feel could make a difference to others.
Knowing that passive-aggressive manipulation is, by its very nature, a difficult dynamic to comprehend, I make no attempt to sugarcoat the facts (as I believe many books on narcissism tend to do). That being said, instead of being difficult to write, the book itself - the writing process - was, indeed, very cathartic for me. I know now, of course, that I was simply ready to write it...to expose the pathological relationship agenda and admit to (and discuss) the codependency factor ..... to pass on what I learned from the experience and to share some words of inspiration given to me by some wise women (and men) who had been there, done that. It was, simply, time to make it happen.
If When Love Is a Lie succeeds in providing even just a single reader with a validation of her experience and the strength to either stay away or make an escape,then I will have more than exceeded my goals for this little book.
About the Author
Zari is a Freelance Writer/Author (and single mom) who resides with her son in Tucson, AZ at the base of the beautiful Catalina Mountains. Born and raised in Rhode Island, Zari, then an aspiring journalist, graduated from Rhode Island College with a B A in Mass Media Communications/English and headed off from the ocean state for a life in the Southwest.
In 2005, when her son's diagnosis with child-onset schizophrenia changed everything, Zari set aside the executive rat race in lieu of a home-based career as a Freelance Writer. A leap of faith that could have gone either way, the choice to work from home was meant-to-be and she has never looked back.
Motivated by the success of When Love Is a Lie, Zari has since published three additional books about narcissism in relationships - Stop Spinning, Start Breathing, a journal-style workbook about narcissist abuse recovery, Narcissist Free: A Survival Guide for the No-Contact Break-Up, and When Evil Is a Pretty Face, for male victims of female narcissists. In addition, she will be publishing a memoir about her son's life and recording a podcast series based on her books about narcissism.
For informative articles about narcissism in relationships and the opportunity to communicate with Zari in forum-style conversations, please visit Zari's blog: TheNarcissisticPersonality.com.
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Top customer reviews
I consider Zari's book an honest history of her life with a Narcissist. I did not experience everything she did nor did my experiences exactly match hers, but as anyone involved with a Narcissist knows - all of our Narcissists probably share 90% of the same qualities and character traits as any other Narcissist. It is the strangest thing. Despite everything that has happened, and is happening, this book should give hope for a brighter future for those living with a N. I give Zari credit for writing such personal details, and being open about her struggles. I found it refreshing that she would be so open about her personal life, and not trying to make herself out to be a perfect person.
This book is written in a conversational style that makes it quick and easy to read.
The common traits these people share was mind boggling to me, right down to they even use the same phrases, behaviour patterns and lies!
I found this book bought up all sorts of emotions for me as it hit very close to home.
I laughed at some of the things the author said / did, as I too have done exactly the same.
I got angry, as some of the authors stories triggered memories I had blocked out.
And I felt like I had been punched to the stomach when the author revealed more information about Narcissist's than I ever realised .
Highly recommended, and a great book to keep on hand for comfort,reassurance and strength for one of the toughest journeys I will ever go through .