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When Someone You Love Has a Chronic Illness: Hope and Help for Those Providing Support Paperback – February 14, 2012

4.7 out of 5 stars 11 customer reviews

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  • When Someone You Love Has a Chronic Illness: Hope and Help for Those Providing Support
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Editorial Reviews

Review

Dr. Tamara McClintock Greenberg has taken on a timely and multi-leveled problem that every individual and family will face at some time in their lives. She combines human compassion with convincing and well-supported data that is applicable to so many situations people face when they, or their loved ones, lose their ability to continue life as it has been. Chronic illness requires that all people involved must face major transformations to survive these experiences intact. In my forty years of practice, I have rarely come across a patient who has not had to deal with this in some way. Dr. Greenberg manages to cover every viable and crucial aspect of this subject in a book that is at once both extremely helpful and emotionally touching." --- --Dr. Randi Gunther; author of Relationship Saboteurs and When Love Stumbles.

About the Author

Dr. Greenberg, a psychologist, is affiliated with the University of California, San Francisco. Her experience has involved consulting with physicians regarding the psychological well being of medical patients.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 128 pages
  • Publisher: Cedar Fort, Inc. (February 14, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1599559390
  • ISBN-13: 978-1599559391
  • Product Dimensions: 5.6 x 0.5 x 8.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #654,978 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By Elakshi on December 21, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
After I was diagnosed with Lupus (SLE), life changed a lot for me and my husband.

That year had been extremely difficult due to the unexpected loss of our beloved cat to a very aggressive type of cancer; a severe acute illness of one of our dogs (who fortunately recovered completely); and a few other incidents that just made us shake our heads and wonder what was wrong with this year.

Getting diagnosed with a chronic illness was bad. But even worse was living with Lupus; not so much with the physical pain as good pain medication helped a great deal; but mostly with the psychological affects.

For the loved one, the person he/she fell in love with and mastered the past 10 or 15 years with, seems gone. All of a sudden, there are two people suffering from a chronic illness; some symptoms different but some very, very similar.

This book helped us tremendously to start openly communicating again; something that we had been doing throughout all the years we've spent together. We were so in love, we were so happy, we were soulmates..!
Nothing seemed to ever be able to shake our base, our foundation, because that is how strong we were together. Everyone who knew us was in awe about our ability to work through difficult situations, misunderstandings, or family drama. Communication was a huge strength of us as a couple.
Within a mere 3-4 months, all that seemed to have crumbled to dust. While I tried to stay positive and enjoy the good days, my husband somehow wasn't able to do the same. If I had a bad day, it would erase all memories for him of the good days we had just shared. He simply couldn't hold on to positive and optimistic thoughts and feelings.
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Format: Paperback
Dr. Tamara McClintock Greenberg has written a wonderfully illuminating and healing book for anyone who has to deal with a family member or loved one who suffers from chronic health problems. In down-to-earth language, she is instructive, validating, and immensely helpful in offering hope and support to those who have to care for others with a debilitating health-related illness. This is the first book of its kind that addresses the emotionally taxing and physical demands of attendant care with loved ones who also need support and respite. Without equivocation, this is one of the best self-help books on the market.

Bringing complex psychological ideas to the public eye in accessible prose, Greenberg succeeds admirably in educating people on the dynamics of chronic illness and how to cope with the ongoing challenges they pose. Written for both patients who have enduring health problems and those who interact with them, whether this be a family member, spouse, partner, caretaker, co-worker, friend, or neighbor, she covers topics that are often thought about, but not usually discussed openly with others. Her advice is practical, sophisticated, sound, and sincere, hence drawn from her years of experience as a psychologist working clinically with health populations.

Greenberg explains how chronic illness is a family disease and the caretakers are just as affected as the patient. She gives voice to their emotional pain, despair, anxiety, loss, and helplessness, and creates a permissible space for them to process their feelings and communicate most effectively with those who they care for.
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Format: Paperback
A fabulous book with clear explanations and tips for dealing with the illness of a loved one. I highly recommend this book for those dealing with chronic illness either as a patient but especially for those struggling with the illness of a family member or friend. The author points out some of the difficulties encountered in facing illness and some more productive ways to deal with those challenges. I appreciated the summarized tips at the end of each chapter which distill down what is discussed in each chapter.

I especially appreciated Greenberg's summary of the culture of our current health care system and how best to deal with it. For example, she points out that doctors have so many obligations and patients to attend to they generally do not have time to engage in extended discussions about emotional reactions to health problems. She recommends that as either a patient or family member you take the initiative in terms of health care and come into an appointment with questions/concerns clearly in mind to discuss. She suggests treating doctor appointments as business meetings and to prepare accordingly. Great advice to my way of thinking.

The experiences that she shares throughout the book add clarity to the points she makes about the emotions and reactions to illness. The author points out the importance of self-care and facing the emotions associated with chronic illness either as a patient or as a loved one. She explains that the helplessness often felt by those associated with the patient can often lead to further problems if not appropriately directed. I recommend this book for its clear explanations and great advice.
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